“LET IT SLIDE”
by OPOVV, ©2020
(May 16, 2020) — “Good evening, ladies and gentlemen, and welcome to ‘The Pulse of the Nation,’ the place to hear it here first. Since we’ve received an overwhelming number of requests for Rook Dunkin to be on the show, we decided to acquiesce to popular demand and interview him at the little church down on Hawthorn Street. Welcome to the show.”
“I’ve never had so much attention, Roving. It seems as if my sermons hit a nerve, for which I am eternally grateful.”
“Yes, of course. Your humor needs a little work. We had a number of requests for you to explain the phrase, ‘Take a hike’ and exactly what you mean in the context in which you use it.”
Commercial break: “Party Doll” (2:13)
“Be more than glad to, Roving. You see, there was this traveling salesman — no, that’s not the one. There was a group of people who were targeted as the cause of everything wrong in the world. If you were behind on the rent, it wasn’t your fault: it was the fault of the Jews. If your car broke down: Jews; and if you overcooked the roast: Jews. So it was decided that the Jews must go, and they told them so: ‘We will kill you.’”
“And that’s it?”
“That’s it, the whole story: ‘Believe what they say for it may come to pass.’”
“Where’d you get that from?”
“I just made it up.”
“So, getting back to that phrase, ‘Take a hike.’”
“When a person is being taken advantage of, that usually means they weren’t paying attention. When a wife is cheating and the whole town knows but the husband doesn’t have a clue, it means that he trusted her and she took that trust and flushed it. Eventually the husband tells the wife to ‘take a hike,’ or ‘I’ll take a hike.’ Either way, something died; a contract was voided; a future erased.”
Commercial break: “You Cheated” (2:26)
“That was pretty good; got another?”
“Well, yes, matter of fact I do. If somebody does a faux pas, or disrespects another deliberately, then it’s up to the injured party to ‘let it slide’; pay no mind; turn the other cheek so as not to needlessly escalate or respond to a provoking. All immature and thoughtless gestures don’t have to end in murder, which has been often referred to as ‘the final solution,’ as if violence is an acceptable method of problem-solving.”
“It seems that violence is the acceptable method of problem-solving for many; isn’t that so?”
“Mix in alcohol, drugs and ignorance, and it’s the number one problem-solving method for many, and the less educated one is, it’s the only problem-solving method. To put it another way, there are two types of drunks: a mean drunk and a happy-go-lucky drunk. A mean drunk should learn to stay out of bars or, better yet, don’t drink in the first place.”
“Getting back to turning the other cheek.”
“Taking advantage of a person’s good nature doesn’t exempt anyone from paying the consequences; milking good-will for nefarious ends doesn’t mean a free pass; and lying has never cut the mustard and it never will. Making an excuse for lying is but another lie. Taking advantage of an unfair situation is a lie in the making, and one should never turn the other cheek on a lie.”
Commercial break: “The Way You Look Tonight” (2:25)
“So bottom line?”
“The bottom line is to not be gullible and be taken advantage of in the first place. Have you read the Muslim blueprint for taking over the United States? Believe it. Look, I’d like to say a few things that I normally don’t have the place to say it. First, it has just been discovered that women have a DNA gene that predisposes them to overload washing machines so the bearings prematurely wear out so they can express unadulterated joy by exclaiming, ‘I got a new washing machine!”
Commercial break: “So Fine” (2:22)
“Are you for real?”
“That was my segue for this question: if you were going to give peasants a gift, would you give them something they need or something with bows and ribbons?”
“Why, something they need, for sure.”
“So Bill Gates gave computers to Africans when they need washing machines. Do you have any idea how many hours a day women wash clothes? Well, Bill Gates doesn’t, that’s for sure: money before brains.”
“So how about summing it up for us, about this ‘turning the other cheek’ business.”
“There’s nothing in the Good Book that says you have to lay down and take it, okay? But, conversely, there’s nothing that says you have to fly off the handle when everything doesn’t go your way, either. Suffice to say, everything in moderation except, of course, when they’re out to wipe you off the face of the earth, as the Muslims want to do to Israel – ‘no Jew between me and the sea’ — first, and us Christians next.”
“Very well-put. I have to get this off my chest: having Joe Biden run for anything is nothing other than elder abuse. And I’m afraid that’ll do it for this episode of ‘Pulse’ and so, on behalf of the crew and Rook Dunkin here, I’ll be wishing you all a goodnight: Goodnight.
“Well, thanks for being on the show. Burger time: my treat.”
“Gee” (2:12)