“SEE WHAT KIND OF KICKBACK THEY OFFER”
by OPOVV, ©2020
(Mar. 3, 2020) — “President Biden, one of the Russian destroyers ran into one of our ships in the Med.”
“What’s the damage? Are we insured? How much do you think I can skim?”
“Well, Sir, there’s a big gash in the side of one of our frigates; we don’t have insurance; and it doesn’t look like there’s anything to skim.”
“Nonsense, where there’s a will there’s a way, and I’ve got the will. Check around the shipyards and see what kind of kickback they offer.”
“I actually took the liberty to find a shipyard that is willing to kick back 40%, but it’s on the West Coast; will that be a problem?”
“No problem: it’s why we built the Panama Canal. I need my 40%.”
“Would you be interested in how many of our sailors were killed?”
“Why would I? They can’t vote: they’re dead. What’s next on the agenda? Make it quick: my nap appointment is in less than two hours.”
“Go Away Little Girl” (2:16)
“Next is a disgruntled supporter who thinks he deserves an embassy job.”
“Call Hillary’s hit squad. What about the Burisma payoffs to the offshore accounts; are they back on time?”
“Yes, they are and here’s a letter of apology from them. What are you going to do about the wall? You said in your campaign that you’ll tear it down.”
“That was then and this is now. We can’t give welfare to every lazy bum in the world.”
“Bernie Sanders says that you promised him the job of Secretary of State and he’s still waiting for your phone call.”
“Tell Bernie that his welfare check is in the mail.”
“Sir, some of our troops are complaining about the conditions that they have to suffer; I mean, they aren’t even issued ammo when they go overseas.”
“They aren’t being issued ammo because they might kill a resident, that’s why: we wouldn’t want to upset the natives, now, would we?”
“Good thinking, Mr. President.”
“It’s getting that time for my nap so I’ll see you later.”
“But you have the Scouts for a photo shoot scheduled now, Sir.”
“Boy Scouts or Girl Scouts?”
“Boy Scouts, Sir.”
“Give them a photo of me and some ice cream. That’ll be all.”
FINI
“Young Girl” (3:14)