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by OPOVV, ©2020

Photo: Hans, Pixabay, License

(Feb. 1, 2020) — “Good evening, ladies and gentlemen, and welcome to another report on a rather delicate subject that is prone to abuse from the top down. What do I mean from the top down? I mean that elder care —  or maybe I should say elder abuse – is a billion-dollar-a-year business that must be protected, which means that any investigation into any wrongdoings is actively discouraged and, at times, thwarted by the very institutions that are governed to oversee criminal activities to protect the elderly. With me here in the studio is Mandy, who used to work at one such old people’s home in one of the flyover states.”

“Excuse me if I’m interrupting, Roving, but we don’t use the word ‘old’ anymore, or even the word ‘home.’ Today we use ‘assisted living quarters’ for the ‘elderly.’”

“Oh, sorry; feel free to correct me whenever I’m wrong: you’re the expert. Now, earlier you were telling me that even the smallest assisted living quarters can make a couple of million dollars a year. I mean, if that’s the case, every motel would change into an assisted living business, isn’t that right?”

“And many do, Roving. You wouldn’t believe the profit margins; they’re astronomical. And the hired help; well, let me tell you about that.”

“Go ahead.”

“First of all, every employee of a retirement center is part-time, which means they make minimum wage with no benefits, okay? The only full-time employees are the director and the handyman. The full-time nurse works many centers owned by the same company or else she works full-time for a company that supplies a full-time nurse on a part-time basis, understand?”

“I think so.”

“Now many of these retirement centers are either owned privately or else owned by a corporation, but either way they’re bean-counters all the way: they do everything as cheaply as possible and still charge the biggest fees.”

“I’m not sure what you mean by that, but what do you say we pause for a commercial?”

Cottonwood Tree” (4:02)

“And we’re back. You were going to say?”

“I mean they maintain the facilities so they meet the minimum state standards, is what I mean. Like if a building requires three nails per hurricane strap to attach a rafter to the top plate of a wall and there are seven holes, they’ll use three nails where somebody who cared would use seven nails, is what I mean.”

“We were talking about theft.”

“Well, I have never stolen anything – I went to Sunday school and learned Thou shalt not steal – but I think I was the only one. The worst thieves are those who are assigned the Power of Attorney. Whether they are nieces or hired help, the theft is beyond words. And I’ve seen it with my own eyes, time and time again.”

“Tell us more.”

“I’ll say this: I bet 10% of the stuff for sale on the Internet, if not more, are stolen items.”

“Buyer beware.”

“Exactly. So there’s theft every day, a little here, a little there, but it really hits the jackpot when somebody dies and then it’s a free-for-all. The place I worked at, in Minnesota, after an elderly gentleman passed the director came in and took a beautiful painting off the wall and walked away with it. She said that he wanted her to have it, yet I never saw them say one word to each other and I worked there for over three years.”

“What do you think happened to the painting? Did she hang it in the office? Wait, let’s break for another commercial and then you can answer.”

Try to Remember” (4:36)


“Go ahead.”

“Well, as the funeral home was taking the body away, I took his wallet with some money and credit cards to the office, and just as I got there I saw the CEO of the company walk out the front door with that nice painting.”

“No kidding?”

“No, and that’s what did it for me: I couldn’t take it anymore, so as I was handing the director the dead man’s wallet with the cash and credit cards, I told the director I was giving my two weeks’ notice.”

“And then what happened?”

“She said she’d save me the time and fired me.”

“Some lady.”

“Yes, but I was mad and that’s when I decided to spill the beans, so I went to the police station to report all of the theft that went on every day. I know they didn’t save the wallet or cash or credit cards for the old man’s family; I bet she, well, I don’t know and that’s what the policeman said: I didn’t know.”

“What do you mean he said you didn’t know?”

“What he meant was don’t make waves, understand?”

“Oh, I get it: like hiring ‘The Fox (What Does The Fox Say?)‘ (3:44) to guard the chicken coop; am I right?”

“Right on the money, Roving.”

“So the cops won’t do anything, is that what you’re saying?”

“I was warned off. Going to the police was a waste of time. Shortly after, I was stopped for running a stop sign, but I stopped; I had to because I let somebody use the crosswalk in front of me. Besides, I have a dash-cam so I could prove it. He said he’d let me off with a warning.”

“But you’re on TV now.”

“I moved within a week. Look, I think the whole state has gone nuts. The farmers are okay; they’re Republicans, but I think everyone else has gone bananas. They must be: they voted for that anti-Semite and anti-America character: Ilhan Omar.”

“So the moral of the story; I mean, is there one?”

“Yes, there’s a moral and it’s this: before you or a loved one checks in to a retirement home, get rid of the valuables and hire a lawyer to act as the POA, because if you don’t, they’ll steal you blind before and after you die.”

“Good advice and so, on behalf of the crew and Mandy, this is your Roving Reporter (RR) wishing you all a goodnight: Goodnight.

“So, Mandy, you think the whole State of Minnesota is covering up for the billion-dollar-a-year retirement business? Where are you off to? Somewhere else? Good answer. Join us for burgers: my treat.”

Just Ask Your Heart” (2:31)


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