If you're new here, you may want to subscribe to my free Email alerts. Thanks for visiting!


by Contributor

Image credit: geralt at Pixabay

(Dec. 6, 2019) — Life after divorce isn’t always about basking in your newfound freedom. For some, it’s even more painful, especially if they’ve lost child custody. Read on to learn what to do to win back custody and how to move on after a divorce.

When you’re just married and in love, the last thing you’d think about is the likelihood of divorce. After all, you have your wedding vows to hold on to. But as you live the married life, new challenges emerge and they’re nothing like the hardships you’ve encountered before getting married. And sometimes, that leaves you with no other choice but a divorce.

No matter how bad your relationship with your spouse has turned, a divorce will always be painful. If you have children, the proceedings can even be more stressful because of the custody battle. The division of properties like businesses and other assets is also another worrisome aspect of the divorce. Fortunately, there are accomplished divorce lawyers in Colorado Springs, CO and other locations who can help settle divorce proceedings as amicably as possible.

Even so, life after divorce isn’t always about enjoying your newfound freedom. Here’s how to cope with a painful divorce, and what you can do if you lost a child custody case:

Winning Back Custody

The court acts in the best interest of the child when determining which parent should have custodial rights. If the court decides to give these rights to your ex-spouse, assess in which area you have gone wrong that resulted in that outcome.

Legal counsel would be necessary when trying to win back child custody. If, for example, you were wrongly accused of child abuse or neglect, your lawyer will help you clear your name and win back custody.

You should also examine the stipulations the court has given you. If you’re an alcoholic, for example, go to rehab and recover. Attending parenting classes can also be one of the conditions of the court for child custody to be recovered.

After completing all of those, you may now ask the judge to conduct an in-home child custody evaluation. If you’ve earned good results, you can win back custody of your child.

While undergoing this process, make sure to be compliant with the judge, and be patient during the proceedings. When visiting your child at your ex-spouse’s, do not try to start fights because it could have a negative impact on your case.

Take the time to discern whether you truly want sole custody; you may find that shared custody may also work for you. If that’s the case, then settle things amicably with your ex.

Moving on After Divorce

With or without kids, life after divorce can be disorienting, especially if you got used to a life with your ex. One of the best ways to move on is to focus on yourself. Take the time to build up your character as a single person. After living with someone for so long, you may have already lost the sense of who you truly are, so rediscover your talents and other distinct qualities after the divorce.

Devote time to do things you actually enjoy. This will help you recover faster than working too much to distract yourself from the grief. Acknowledge the pain you are feeling, and view the experience as a valuable life lesson. This will help you let go of any ill feelings and move on.

Being divorced also makes you more sensitive and appreciative of the things around you because you just experienced a loss. Use these newfound characteristics as you move on.

Take the time to discern what’s truly important to you; it will help you find your purpose and a new direction in life. As you do that, reconnect to your inner awareness to rediscover your identity.

Most importantly, do things at your own pace and listen to your heart. You don’t have to rush in starting anew. Pause and wait until you’re in a stronger mindset to face this new chapter of your life.

Join the Conversation

1 Comment

Your email address will not be published.

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.

  1. That’s it? I lost my children 10 to 3 years old because I did not have money for legal representation in the state he fled to. I spent all I had on retaining council in NYS. I agreed to allow my former husband with a signed notarized doc take the children to see his parents in Florida. The agreement even outlines when I would arrive over that summer break time take my children to Disney and mutually celebrate the fourth and our daughters bday.
    I filed immediately in NYS never doubting he would not return. Not only did he fail to return he ended up in Georgia where he had a plan to pursue his future. 7 months was the time frame to which jurisdiction for the state of GA would override NYS. He got me to move there and mentally and emotionally tortured me for 6 months. In May he kicked me out if the home to which I leased July filing in GA claiming in abandoned my babies.
    After the 6500 the move to follow him to Georgia furnishing a new home etc. I could not afford a lawyer or even to get to GA again he has full custody I’m not even considered . He pretends to graciously allow me to see them while he tapes me.
    I moved back to GA it’s impossible to ok my own ever anticipate being a mom again he even registered them for school leaving off my name my baby girl I’ve missed not just hers but all their burgers every holiday he takes them. I have no family here. I was gracious to believe he was gonna build his future I supported him. Not because I wanted his money but for our kids.
    I am devastated likely I will move back to Nys I do not wish to be their mother I can’t take this hurt forever there’s just no way to ever fix it