by OPOVV, ©2019

(Nov. 19, 2019) — “Good evening, ladies and gentlemen, and welcome to the show that’s talked about at the water cooler the next day, ‘The Pulse of the Nation.’ Hello, my name is Roving, as in Roving Reporter (RR), trying to glean inside information on what’s bugging our neighbors, what’s on their minds, and maybe get some possible solutions to problems that face us all. As you can see, we’re back on our corner, under the awning, across the street from the railroad station where we waylay unsuspecting commuters, such as this young man. Excuse me, please, Roving for ‘Pulse.’“

“Okay; you’re excused. I’ve seen you on this corner for the past couple of years but never felt compelled to say my peace, that is, until now.”

“Well, that’s fine, but tell us your name and what you do first.”

“Fair enough: my name is Brad and I’m an accountant for one of the big banks downtown. Now this is what I want to say: there’s a world of difference between taking the Oath to the Constitution to be a policeman and to be in the military. A policeman can quit; a military person cannot. That’s it. And here’s my train. Bye.”

“Thanks for talking to us, Brad. What do you say we take a break?’

Willie and the Hand Jive” (2:33)

“This is Max and he wants to ask when Attorney General Barr is going to declare CAIR a terrorist organization and outlaw them just as many other countries have done, most notably Egypt. Well, Max, I’d say about the same time he labels the Muslim Brotherhood a terrorist organization, just as Egypt has. Thanks for taking the time to visit with us, Max.”

“But I didn’t get to say anything.”

“Them’s the breaks: welcome to show biz. Next in line; and you are?”

“Jill, and I’m a teacher at a private school.”

“So let me ask you this: by what grade do the students in your school learn to write script?”

“Good question, Roving, since they don’t teach that in government schools anymore. Our kids are proficient in longhand by the 7th grade. And, I might add, we say the Pledge of Allegiance and stand with hands over hearts when we sing the National Anthem, as we pay tribute to our flag, our Veterans and our country.”

“Proud to make your acquaintance, Jill. So, tell us your pet peeve of the day.”

“This year I’m teaching American Government and my pet peeve is the sophomoric antics of the Democrats by how they treat their responsibilities to the Constitution.  I mean, just look at Adam Schiff making up a conversation between our president and the president of Ukraine, just so it can get into the Congressional Record. Lies, nothing but lies and he’s supposed to be proud of himself, and not one of his fellow Democrats step up and call him for what he is: an enemy of America.”

“So how do you handle it?”

“I tell them the truth; what else can I do? I tell them that Trump is turning the money spigot off; an end to the payoffs; no more cost overruns; goodbye, fake news; and sayonara to the kickbacks from the unequal tariffs that we’ve had in place for decades. I tell them the moneymen on ‘K’ Street need to take a permanent hike back to Big Oil and the insurance companies that backed Obamacare.”

“Just curious, but what do the kids’ parents think of you as a teacher?”

“I was just voted ‘Teacher of the Year,’ so I guess that answers your question. And hear that? That’s my train. Enjoy the show, by the way.”

“Thanks; and off she goes. Let’s take a break and do one more interview, shall we?”

What a Wonderful World” (2:10)

“And look who’s here; it’s our favorite General. We just saw you the other day.”

“I’m on patrol, soldier. Headquarters is just a block away so I patrol the perimeter, just as any good soldier does on base.”

“Headquarters? What headquarters?”

’What headquarters? Sir.’”

“What headquarters, Sir?”

“My house is my headquarters, soldier. And now I’m on patrol, but not the same route at the same time, unlike what they teach at the Academy. No wonder our troops get sent back missing limbs, patrolling the same road the same way.”

“Reminds me of Vietnam, Sir, with the bombers leaving Guam at the same time, heading and altitude, like clockwork; trying to hit the target; and the return flight just as it was the day before, to the letter, by the book.”

“Yes, a crying shame; made it a real piece of cake for the NVA shooting down our planes, didn’t it? I was in that; what was it? It wasn’t a war and I don’t believe it was a Police Action like Korea; maybe it was a Disagreement. Yes, I think somebody disagreed with something, like freedom, for instance.”

“Yes, I think the General is right.”

“Generals are always right, son, that’s why they’re Generals. Now listen: I’m not going to mention that you’re out of uniform, am I?”

“No, Sir.”

“Good; I didn’t think I was. Now about this quid pro quo: there was such an animal but they got the wrong people: it was Hillary exchanging Ambassador Stevens for Osama bin Laden as an even trade: textbook diplomacy: we kill one of yours so you get to kill one of ours. And let me say something about Socialism: in Socialism, you send a dog up in space and there he dies; in Capitalism you send a dog up in space and bring him back down and have a ticker-tape parade with the very same dog that went up, and not some stand-in.”

“That’s true. Now about Benghazi:  Huma Abedin had a hand in it, didn’t she?”

“She was the go-between; Muslim Brotherhood and all. And to top it off, the Deep State and the Fake News got Obama elected for a second term. Talk about gullible; how stupid are Americans? Have you noticed that I’ve my chalkboard on wheels with me today?”

“Actually, General, I’ve never seen you without it.”

“I think I’ll promote you. How about I give you a company of recruits and give you a week to make them in your image and then give you carte blanche to go to our nation’s capitol and arrest all the traitors.  Do you think you can do that for me, son?”

“Gosh, General, don’t I wish, but I’m out of the military; I did my time so it wouldn’t be lawful for me to do that.”

“Another crying shame. Too much crying, if you ask me. I’d like to be a pundit on FOX or, better yet, Newsmax. I’d tell them the truth about what’s REALLY happening with our government, starting with the dumbing-down of our kids by making them as dumb as Iowans and anybody else who would give any of the Democratic candidates the time of day. Get real.”

“General, you’d be a shoe-in, for sure. You and your chalkboard.”

“I can draw you a diagram of how Alexandria the Great fought the battle of Hydaspes. See, this line represents…”

“I’m sorry to interrupt you, General, but I’m afraid we’ve just run out of time.”

“Another crying shame, and I haven’t even made the case of deporting our Muslims. How much more can we take?”

“It’s alright, General. The ‘Fool of the Week Award’ goes to Marie Yovanovitch for being stupid beyond – way beyond – normal human comprehension.  And so, on behalf of the crew, I’ll be wishing you all a goodnight: Goodnight.”

“Join us for burgers, General: my treat.”

What Kind of Fool do You Think I Am?” (2:00)


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