Bishop Dunkin’s Latest Sermon (RR)


by OPOVV, ©2019

Photo: Couleur at Pixabay

(Aug. 5, 2019) — “Good evening, ladies and gentlemen, and welcome to the church down on Hawthorn Street for another pleasant visit with Bishop Dunkin and his congregation. The service is about to begin so let’s listen in.”

“Welcome, one and all. To begin the service, please turn to page 153 in your hymnal and sing along.”

Bringing in the Sheaves” (3:59)

“Thank you; that was great. Please be seated. Today I want to talk about the guilty among us. No, I don’t mean the person who wields the instrument of death; I’m directing my wrath to those who I hold responsible, those who hide behind highfalutin words dressed in robes of black or barricade themselves behind the title of ‘concerned citizen.’ The best examples are the courts in California that support taxpayer-funded tuition for illegal immigrants and people who supported Kathy Griffin’s photo of her holding a likeness of President Trump’s head.

“The first example, called ‘Legislating from the Bench,’ has been the tactic by the court circumventing public demands, and the example of the Ten Commandments removed from an Alabama courthouse is a case in point. The Left – formerly known as the Democrats – has embraced atheism since the death of JFK, who was a Catholic.

“In the second example, we have an obviously deranged person ignored by the authorities, which causes those to whom we grant jurisdiction for our safety to fail the requirements of their employment: protect us from the nuts*. You must admit, even the thought of what Kathy Griffin did was, in fact, deplorable. In an earlier time she would’ve been hauled off to the funny farm. Please stand and turn to page 183 and sing the chorus along with the choir.”

They’re Coming to Take Me Away” (2:10)

“Please be seated. Our country recently had a couple of shootings, one in Texas and one in Ohio. I think if the NRA had more members the number of fatalities would’ve been a lot lower; I mean, ever see a crazed shooter at an NRA convention or a police picnic? Whenever a nut case sees a sign that reads ‘GUN FREE ZONE’ they read the same words that you and I, but they interpret the words as ‘SHOOTING GALLERY.’ Maybe the first solution is to remove all the stupid signs.

“My father was a pilot in World War II when he was issued an M1911 pistol, and he carried that gun on every flight as a commercial airline pilot for 33 years. Think about it: your Captain of that flight you took sometime between the years 1945 and 1978 may very well have had a loaded .45 up there in the cockpit just waiting to blow the bad guy away. Isn’t it interesting that not one pilot on a hijacked plane on 9-11 was armed. And I spent over twelve years of my life going to various colleges and universities carrying a loaded .38 revolver, and each and every school was a ‘gun-free-zone.’ I took it upon myself to protect myself.

“Let me make a comment about people. We’ve all heard the ‘Two People’ sayings; for example: there are two types of people, neat freaks and slobs; like sweets or don’t; those who have empathy and those who are monsters. I thought I had some empathy until I met my first wife, who was a nurse. You know what they said about Elvis Presley? He had more talent in his little finger than most performers have in their whole body. My ex had more empathy in her little finger than most of us have all over, and I think those who suffer from PTSD have a lot of empathy. You see, they are the ones that care, really care, and not the booze talking.

“Study after study has revealed that Republicans contribute more to charities than Democrats; Republicans care more, and when JFK said, ‘Ask not what your country can do for you; ask what you can do for your country,’ he was addressing the Republicans because today’s Democrats would boo JFK off the stage. Let me repeat what I just said: if JFK were alive and well and addressing a Democrat convention, he’d be booed off the stage.

Photo: Pixabay

“I grew up in what is today called ‘Chicago Land.’ When I was of the age of playing cowboy and Indians, when baseball was more important than girls, it was a pretty nice place, and the only time you had to be fearful was in South Side Chicago on a Saturday night with a full moon. And now look what they’ve done to my city:  not only stomped it into the ground, but also ground it down with the heel of their boot. It was the uneducated Welfare gamers who gave us Obama, aka Barry Soetoro, Iranian Muslim plant sent to destroy America via copious amounts of petrol dollars from the oil-producing countries from the Middle-Eastern states, Islamic torture chambers where women and children haven’t a life.

“A place where old men marry young girls, men in their 40’s and 50’s marrying 16-year olds, 12-year-olds and even younger children: government-sanctioned pedophilia. And these Islamic countries have what they refer to as honor killings,’ which means that men can carry out premeditated murder on any female with impunity, with the blessing of the government.

          #1. Old man grows tired of his old wife.

          #2. Old man kills wife.

          #3. Old man replaces wife with young bride.

“See? Easy as 1-2-3, for real. So, let’s go over what I just said. What used to be a capital offense became ‘Life’ behind bars, but nowadays ‘Life’ can mean eligible for parole in twenty years. Pedophiles were dealt with in the ‘general population’ of the prisons, so there was never a need for maps with red dots of where sex offenders lived.

“The cultures south of our border treat women very poorly, and since our government has failed to do the job for which it was hired, we have millions of illegal immigrants living in our country. To top it off, the Department of Homeland Security has allowed millions of Muslims to also live in our country.

“So what does that mean, really? It really means that we may talk about law and order, but we haven’t law and order. It has been estimated that those from south of the border and those from the Middle East may number fifty million, or about one-sixth of our population. So stop at the gas station on the way home and randomly pick out six people, and the chances are that one of the six will have come from a land where killing the gringo or the unbeliever is, if not yet a national sport as it is in Iraq and Afghanistan, acceptable behavior and not something to be concerned about.

“And here’s the dichotomy of our situation: on the one hand we arrest those who kill us, yet we do not kill them; we let them go, just as we did with Kate Steinle’s murderer. To have a prison system based on ‘good behavior’ is a convoluted concept: bad behavior got them there and they deserve to serve out their sentences and then make restitution for the crime they did to the families. It would be wise to run our prison system as the Japanese do: eliminate the parole board; bad behavior is rewarded by additional time; administered as a boot camp; no weights, drugs, tattoos; and not allow private contractors to run our prisons as if it’s their own little fiefdoms.

“And now we’ve come to the end of the sermon, where I mention the entertainment industry that views profits more than morals. Sure, violent video games sell and people make fortunes, but is it the right thing to do? We allow illegal immigrants to cross our borders, but is it the right thing to do? And, finally, we allow dispensations for people who were not brought up under our Constitution, which is our biggest mistake. Treat others as you wish to be treated, and if they murder your child, well, no sense in being overly obvious, is there?

Photo: mogcity, Pixabay

“In conclusion, our government has let us down, and it looks as if the inmates will soon be calling ALL of the shots: foreigners will have carte blanche over our lives, and they know it. Yes, we have case after case of pedophiles and rapists and murderers being deported, only to reappear and commit the same crime over and over again. So let me ask you this: who are the crazy ones, those who repeat the crime or we who allow it to happen? And to top it off, they say that we don’t have the brains or the will to deport all of the millions of undocumented, documented but unwanted, uneducated, and, most importantly, unwilling to give women the same rights as men. We have laws against having more than one wife, of child molestation and the mistreatment of women, children and animals. I think it’s about time we enforce those laws, don’t you?

“Please join our choir while we close the service. Thank you for attending.”

Have I told You Lately” (4:18)

“And that’ll do it for this episode of ‘Pulse,’ and so, on behalf of the crew, I’ll be wishing you all a goodnight: Goodnight.

“Hey, Bishop Dunkin, liked your sermon. Care to join us? Burger time: my treat.”

[*Insane: I don’t want to hear any argument about the First Amendment: just because you can doesn’t give you the moral right to behave badly.]

Elusive Butterfly” (3:05)


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