“THE LAST STRAW”
by OPOVV, ©2019
(Jul. 8, 2019) — “Good evening, ladies and gentlemen, and welcome to ‘The Pulse of the Nation,’ your one stop for the truth which, for a time now, has been in short supply. Hello, my name is Roving and we’re broadcasting from our corner, under the awning, across the street from the railroad depot. For those of you who can’t get us on the idiot box*, a transcript of the show is available in The P&E, the ever-popular political blog. Something happened recently overseas, something so despicable that it can’t be ignored, although I wish it could, so we’ll be asking that very question. Excuse me, Miss, care to be interviewed on live TV? Roving here for ‘Pulse,’ the ever…”
“Yes, yes, we know, Roving. Why, you’ve been pestering us for how many years from this very corner? You used to broadcast from a lot of different locations. What happened, old age?”
“The expense account took a nose-dive, and even though the business has remarkably recovered, my expense account hasn’t. The advertisers who’ve stood by us are doing very well, but they’re far and few since the Left-Wing Loonies have resorted to destruction and violence; the Left-Wing Looney Mayors have instructed the police force not to interfere with Left-Wingers breaking the law, committing atrocities which are getting more destructive day by day; and the mainstream media is encouraging such criminal behavior. So, what’s your name and what is your take on the women’s soccer team?”
“I’m Joanne and I’m a soccer mom, or I used to be, because I sure wouldn’t want my daughter to grow up to be a total loser playing for a soccer coach who hates our country. I watched all the World Cup games with my daughter and I was truly ashamed of my country for allowing such anti-American behavior.”
“Was there any particular incident that upset you more than any other?”
“When they said that they hated Trump, that’s when. So, they hate Jews and the Constitution and love NOW and FGM? I guess they didn’t have any problem with Obama going around apologizing for the USA, did they? ‘Oh, we’re so sorry liberating Europe from the Nazis.’ Obama was as disgusting as the so-called America’s women’s soccer team.”
“This your train? See you around. Good time to break for a commercial.”
“Our Day Will Come” (2:32)
“And we’re back with Howard, who has something to say. Take it away, Howard.”
“Oh, okay. I thought you were going to ask me some questions, like what I do and other stuff.”
“Okay, what do you do, Howard?”
“If you consider moping around the house a full-time occupation, then I’m one very busy retiree.”
“Seriously?”
“Roving, I’m so busy I just don’t have time to be not-busy. Even my naps take work; after all, one has to take the time to plan ahead, besides actually taking the time to take one.”
“I see what you mean. Let me ask you about trashing the flag on world-feed, running up the score, and the rudeness of it all for America’s soccer team.”
“Let me tell you something, young man: it weren’t no ‘America’s’ team, because America’s team wouldn’t have acted like a bunch of ANTIFA spoiled brats, that’s why. And I’m not the only one who feels this way. First there was NIKE and now this soccer stunt; makes me wonder what’s going on sometimes. We live in a country that doesn’t enforce its laws on the books, so what gives? If we did a smidgen of what Hillary did, we’d be in prison. I’m right, aren’t I?”
“Without a doubt. Our so-called justice system is the laughingstock of the world, along with the DOJ/FBI.”
“Yes, and isn’t it a shame, but when you think about it, with good cause.”
“What do you mean?”
“The Las Vegas shooting was clearly a Muslim jihad attack, so why does the FBI cover for them? And when a District Attorney is found withholding exculpatory evidence they’re not arrested, disbarred and tarred-and-feathered. So there you have it: the Deep State is alive and well throughout our country. That’s what I meant by good cause for us to doubt our government working on our behalf. But listen: don’t get me wrong: I have hope, mainly because that’s all any of us have left.”
“I also have hope.”
“I’ll tell you about the dream I had this morning: I had a vision that Superman is alive and well and he said that those who are not for the Constitution will wake up with a nose that Pinocchio would be, well, not proud of, but you know what I mean. The soccer team will have noses that’ll make an anteater proud.”
“I like it, and we know exactly what you mean. And now it’s time for us to say goodnight and so, on behalf of the crew: Goodnight.
“Good show, but what an embarrassment for our country; the soccer players acting like spoiled brats; but the last straw was throwing Old Glory to the ground and stomping it. I wouldn’t have let their plane land in New Jersey, I’d divert it to some Muslim country, get my drift? Hey, it’s burger time: my treat.”
[*idiot box: television.]
“Treat Me Like a Fool” (2:47)
If had the wherewithal I would revoke the entire team’s (including coaches) U.S. Citizenship and passports, demand they return their uniforms in the same condition they received them, send the World Cup Championship trophy to the White House, kick them out of the country and ban them from ever returning.