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by OPOVV, ©2018

(Sep. 3, 2018) — “Good evening, ladies and gentlemen, and welcome to ‘The Pulse of the Nation,’ the refuge of the truth. Hello, my name is Roving and I’ll be your host for this episode. Glad you could join us on our corner across from the railroad depot waylaying our neighbors heading out to the big city. Excuse me, sir, care to be interviewed on live TV?”

“As long as you don’t mention McCain. All I’m going to say is that McCain said he was against Obamacare and the first chance he got to vote against it he didn’t, so there.”

“That’s fair. So, what’s your name and what are you up to?”

“My name is Ralph and I’m on my way to the Museum of Science and Industry to look at the model ships. But I’d like to say something about that Formula 1 race from Monza, Italy, if I may.”

“Sure; go right ahead.”

“Reminds me of the NFL, Formula One does, where the management hasn’t a clue what the fans think. Take this race today: Lewis Hamilton (driving for Mercedes) cuts-off Sabastian Vettle (driving for Ferrari) and they blame Vettle; Valtteri Bottas (driving for Mercedes) cuts off Max Verstappen (driving for Red Bull) and they blame Verstappen. In both instances, not only did the race stewards get it wrong, but also the announcers. Pathetic. Vestapin said over his unsecure radio that ‘they’re killing the sport.’ And they wonder why their viewership has dropped off. Sounds like the NFL, doesn’t it? I think the only people who watch the NFL anymore are the ones on Welfare and Food Stamps.”

“And the ones who wouldn’t know the difference between Germany in 1945 and Venezuela in 2018.”

“It’s not polite to make fun of people who are a little slow on the uptake.”

“You mean like Ocasio-Cortez?”

“People usually get past the stage in believing in the Easter Bunny.”

“But not her?”

“Or anyone like her. Look, and this is where the leap of faith comes into play: take a baseball pitcher, for instance, and half the distance from the mound to the bat. Under that scenario, the ball would never reach the plate, because the distance would be cut in half each time a result would appear. So let’s say you get down to one trillionth of an inch; even that would have to be divided. The ball would never reach the catcher’s mitt, but it does, doesn’t it? In the real world the pitcher throws the ball and either the catcher catches it or the batter hits it; in the world of make-believe the ball never reaches the plate.

“Just like in the NFL: the sport died because the people who run it are more interested in money than in what’s good for the country. In Formula One it’s the difference of promoting the sport vs. being shills for a business; in the case of Socialism it’s the difference between reality and hype. It’s been awfully nice chatting with you, but here’s my train. Bye.”

“See you later, Ralph, and thanks for talking with us. Excuse us while we break for a commercial.”

Sailor, Your Home is the Sea” (2:47)

“And we’re back. Excuse me, Miss, care to be on TV?”

“I’ve a train to catch so make it snappy.”

“Will do. Roving here for ‘Pulse,’ the enjoyable information show. So, what’s your name and what bugs you these days?”

“My name is Margo and what bugs me these days are all the people who don’t know a good thing when it stares them in the face. You know that countries that have the freedom to vote have a 90% or more voter turnout? And we’re lucky to get 30%.”

“I’m sure there’s lots of reasons.”

“Name one.”

“Well, now, some time the candidates are too much alike; maybe they’re tired of their vote not being counted correctly, if at all; and maybe they’re sick and tired of dead people and dogs casting a ballot, along with illegal immigrants and felons.”

“So have voter I.D.”

“But it would cut down on the fraud, and fraud is what drives the Democratic ticket, and one has to look no farther than Hillary to prove my point. Why, look at the schools in the inner cities where the high school graduates can neither read or write, yet they get into the University of Michigan.”

“Because of Affirmative Action.”

“A good example of good intentions with the opposite results. This your train? And off she goes. Well, folks, it’s that time where, on behalf of the crew, I’ll be wishing you all a goodnight: Goodnight.

“Good show. What do you say we grab a couple of burgers: my treat.”

96 Tears” (2:57)


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