“SOMEBODY HAD TO PAY FOR THEM”
by OPOVV, ©2018
(Aug. 19, 2018) — “Good evening, ladies and gentlemen, and welcome to ‘The Pulse of the Nation,’ the refuge for the mind, where only common sense prevails. Hello, my name is Roving and I’ll be your gracious host for this evening’s show. As you can see, we’re back on our corner, under the awning, across from the railroad station about to waylay people off to the big city and ask them what they’re up to. And you, sir, care to be on live TV? Roving here for ‘Pulse.’”
“Only if I can wave and say hello to my mother.”
“Move along, please. No waving; we don’t want any waving, okay? How about you, Miss; care to be interviewed on live TV?”
“Oh, how exciting. How much can I win?”
“No money, sorry. What we do is ask your name, what you do and where you’re off to.”
“That’s it? Well, my name is Sandy and I’m an arborist.”
“Really, now? Well, how is the tree business these days?”
“When Japan was the economic hot spot, the Japanese maple tree was the top dog; when China was on top it was the Chinese tulip tree, but now that America is back on top, it’s the Black Cherry tree that’s the best-seller, I’m proud to say. We decorate banks; I mean, we raise little baby trees and when whenever someone buys a house we plant one of the trees in the yard, you know, for good public relations.”
“Am I understanding you when I say you plant a sapling of a country’s tree where the money came from? Is that right?”
“Yes, that’s it. We think of it as good public relations.”
“And the stockholders of the bank go along with your wacky scheme?”
“It all started with Obama; you know, with the Stimulus Money.”
“Unbelievable. So if, let’s say, if an audit was ever done on where all the so-called Stimulus Money went we’ll find, what? But first, let’s break for a commercial.”
“Deep Purple” (2:38)
“You’ll probably stumble on a couple of container ships arriving at the Port of Long Beach filled with Chinese Tulip trees.”
“That we paid for.”
“Well, somebody had to pay for them.”
“Just out of curiosity, how much did we, the American taxpayer, pay for each tree?”
“Including the cost of raising the little critters from birth, and the handling and transportation costs, not to mention the insurance…”
“Excuse me, I don’t mean to be rude and butt in, but how much?”
“Well, you didn’t let me list the port fee; the docking fee; the trucking and railroad fee…”
“How much per tree?”
“Rounding off?”
“Per tree?”
“An even million.”
“Well then, how much did the bank pay for one of those million-dollar trees?”
“Nineteen-ninety-five, but that’s the discount price when you buy two or more.”
“Seems there was a mark-up somewhere along the line, doesn’t it?”
“I suppose so; I mean, everyone has to pay in order to do business; how do you think the Boeing Aircraft Company does business in China? And, while we’re at it, don’t our politicians like it when their political war chest funds expand due to American money laundered by the Chinese to reach our politicians’ bank accounts? Money, after all, is the grease that makes the world go around. Money is the price of commerce.”
“So how does that help the men and women on Main Street?”
“It doesn’t it. Face it, Clinton’s Trickle-Down Economic Model is just as skewed as Bernie Sanders’s Socialism Model.”
“Meaning it doesn’t work.”
“Meaning us regular Americans are getting the short end of the stick.”
“Once again.”
“But you’ll never hear any of this on Fake News.”
“How do people think Obama got $35 million to pay for that house in Hawaii?”
“They don’t, at least the watchers of The View don’t. They lack the mental curiosity to wonder about any of it.”
“Even million-dollar trees?”
“Even million dollar trees.”
“Okay, here’s your train so we’ll see you around. I see it’s time for us to sign off and so, on behalf of the crew, I’ll be wishing you all a goodnight: Goodnight.
“Anther great show. You know what? We’ll get an audit on the Stimulus money when we’ll get an audit on the Federal Reserve Bank, right? That’ll be when you-know-what freezes over. The words truth and justice are not synonymous, are they? Burger time: my treat.”
“Money Honey” (2:36)
