We Were Once a Country (RR)

IS AMERICAN PRIDE STILL ALIVE?

by OPOVV, ©2018

(Apr. 4, 2018) — “Good evening, ladies and gentlemen, and welcome to ‘The Pulse of the Nation,’ the place where the ‘in-the-know’ become the ‘in-the-know.’  I’m your Roving Reporter and I’ll be your host for tonight’s program. We’re once again back on our corner about to waylay our neighbors to glean what their major concerns are these days. Let’s break for a commercial.”

“Time After Time” (3:13)

“Excuse me, sir, mind being interviewed on television?”

“Mind? No, as long as you’re civil; I mean, sometimes you seem to be off-the-wall.”

“’Off-the-wall’?”

“Over-the-edge.”

“’Over-the-edge’?”

“You have on pretty strange people, now don’t you?”

“Look, I could say something about you, too.”

“Name one.”

“So what’s with the locust costume?”

“It’s not, as you so derogatorily phrased it, a ‘locust costume’; it’s a ‘grasshopper suit.’ I am an admirer of ‘Kung Fu.’”

“Okay, I think I get it, which is really kind-of creepy: that old television show. So what’s your take on the health of the USA?”

“You mean now, today?”

“No, I mean the time of The Great Flood; of course I mean today; now; this minute.”

“You’re rude, but I’ll answer anyway. The USA is really sick, and if the USA were, for instance, a cow, I’d be calling a veterinarian. Id’ say the cow is bloated; hence the National Debt. I’ll say maybe the cow has ‘Mad Cow Disease,’ and I’d use John McCain as an example. I’ll be forced to report that the cow is ‘two-faced,’ and refer to Paul Ryan. I’ll say that the cow has a really serious identity psychosis by mentioning Elizabeth Warren. And, finally, I’ll say that I suspect the cow has a high temperature due to the delusional antics of the mainstream media and the supporters of Socialism, a political model that’s never worked in the past 4.5 billion years, give or take. Look, I’ve got a swarm to attend to downtown. Bye.”

“Goodbye. Let’s do a commercial.”

“Kung Fu Fighting” (3:17)

“Okay, now what? Read a letter? No, thanks; let’s interview this lady. Excuse me, please, Roving for ‘Pulse,’ the ever-popular TV show that informs as it entertains.”

“For sure? You think pretty highly of yourself, don’t you?”

“Lady, I used to live a wasted life, but ‘I saw the elephant’ and here I am, about to embark on another day’s trek on Starship Earth, drug-free, booze-free, smoke free and free as a bird; that is, except for my bundle of regrets that I acquired, most while serving my country, truth be told. But I’ve also been told that such passages of life are the price one pays, and people such as me have been paying them for thousands of years, so I’m certainly not a special case.”

“It takes a lot of courage to admit when you’re wrong.”

“Maybe so. The American Indians had a phrase for such an event: ‘Go fish.’”

“You’re kidding.”

“I am not. My grandfather (half Cherokee, mother Chief’s daughter; father Indian Agent) taught me a lot, and one of the things he taught me about life is to roll with the punches, hence when things get a little hectic: ‘Go fish.’”

“You mean go catch a fish?”

“No; in the card game, ‘Got any fours? No? Then Go fish.’ Here’s the question of the day: how is America doing? What is the health of our nation, in your opinion?”

“My opinion is that the last time we stood as a people of one nation was when Neil Armstrong walked on the moon: we kept President Kennedy’s dream alive: send a man to the moon and bring him back safely to earth by the end of the decade (1960s). The whole world — well, most of the world — stood as one and we all missed JFK that day. I cried, but weren’t we proud.”

“Look, I’m not sure how to say this, but you look awfully young to have been around then.”

“You, too. I’m sorry to have to run, but that’s my train. Got to meet some friends at the dog track. Bye.”

“You could stick around; have a burger with us. And she didn’t even hear the question she skedaddled so fast. Well, I see it’s that time anyway and so, on behalf of the crew, I’ll be wishing you all a goodnight: Goodnight.

“I feel pretty bad about that lady running away. I guess I’ll just have to ‘Go fish.’ Burger time: my treat.”

“Ride Cowboy Ride” (3:25)

OPOVV