“A WHINY KID”
by OPOVV, ©2018
(Mar. 31, 2018) — “Good evening, ladies and gentlemen, and welcome to ‘The Pulse of the Nation,’ the immensely entertaining info-news show that you’ve all come to rely on to learn what your neighbors are thinking these days. Hello, I’m Mr. Roving and will be your host for this evening’s entertainment. As you can see, we’re back on our corner across from the railroad depot waylaying people on their way to the big city. Excuse me, Miss, Roving for ‘Pulse.’ Mind if I ask you a couple of questions? Won’t take long.”
“Oh, sure; we’ve been watching your show for the past couple of years, I mean, the cat, Sam, and I watch. Name is Brenda; what’s the question of the day?”
“Do you think the wall will be built or not?”
“Oh, for sure. If for nothing else it’ll slow the trafficking of drugs down some, I would think. And about the marijuana, well, the states seem to be embracing those tax dollars to spend on yet more government waste. As far as slowing down the bums for getting in line for handouts, I doubt it. If we would jail any employer from paying illegal immigrants one red cent, well, maybe there’ll be hope for America: until then, forget it and here’s my train. Got to run; bye.”
“Excuse us while we take a commercial break.”
“Buddy Mercury Sings” (1:02)
“Okay, who do we have here?”
“Call me ‘Tops’; ‘once a Marine; always a Marine.’”
“Ain’t that the truth? So tell me, what’s going on in the world of a retired DI?”
“How’d you know I was a DI?”
“I found a “2” and then I found another “2” and I came up with a “4,” that’s how.”
“Oh, I get it: Navy. I heard you guys had an attitude that would make the word ‘sarcasm’ sound as if they were in a church social; all polite and all.”
“I’ll take that as a compliment: thank you.”
“You’re more than welcome.”
“I should be. So tell me, one Veteran to another, what in the past couple of weeks has got your gander up?”
“You mean my goat?”
“Goats are fine.”
“Boy, I bet you and the Navy got along real swell.”
“Funny pun. Really, what has bugged you lately?”
“Look, I know this is a family show; I mean, you’re on prime time, or you used to be. Can’t seem to find you on the tube anymore; have to read the transcripts of your program in The P&E.”
“And?”
“And what got me really bent out of shape, well, I was watching that town meeting – or whatever they call it – with the kids from that high school in Florida that some crazy kid shot up and the President, and this one kid stands and starts to whine, like ‘I just turned 18 and I can buy a weapon of war.’ All I can say if I was his father I’d be ashamed to have raised such a whiny kid. Bet you he couldn’t make it through Basic.”
“I wouldn’t take that bet.”
“Imagine: your kid on national television crying and, well, I don’t know the proper mixed-company words, but if this wasn’t a family show I’d sure know the words a Marine Drill Instructor would say to the coward. My gosh, doesn’t he know that had he a gun he could’ve stopped the slaughter? I mean, what’s it take?”
“As they say, ‘You can lead a horse to water but you can’t make him drink.’”
“Ain’t that the truth? You know all of these shootings occur in places that have been declared as a ‘GUN-FREE ZONE’? The shooters are cowards; I mean, come on, now, what’s the point?”
“I think the point is that there is none, believe it or not. You see, the kids these days, a man has already walked on the moon and they don’t have a clue about integrity and patriotism; not a clue. And I imagine that kid’s parents and a lot of other parents of that school look down their noses at the military. Maybe not all; there would be enough of them to support the idea of a government takeover, but then that’s what happens when you don’t think things through.”
“Right, like abolishing the right to bear arms. I carry and whenever I see that Chief, Chief Leaf or something…”
“Chief New Leaf.”
“Right; whenever I see Chief New Leaf I stop by to see what rifle he has with him, and I show him whatever I’m carrying that day. Today I feel like a 9 mm; don’t ask me why, I just do. And look, I’ve got the Missus with me and we’re off to the Art Institute so I’ve got to skedaddle. Nice talking with you, Navy.”
“Likewise, Marine; see you around. Well, that does it for this show and so, on behalf of the crew, I’ll be wishing you all a goodnight: Goodnight.
“Good show; again. Oh, I just remembered that kid’s name; the whiner: David Hogg. What do you think the chance of his ever going into the military is, besides zero? Do you think he’ll ever grow up and realize that a gun is but a tool and nothing more? Not a chance. I’m sure glad he’s not my kid. Be shameful being ashamed of your son, wouldn’t it? Burger time: my treat.”
[You want the truth of how we don’t become a country of wimps and whiners? Bring back the Draft for everyone: no deferments, not even a senator’s son.]
“Fortunate Son” (2:21)