The DNA Test


by Joseph DeMaio, ©2018

(Mar. 8, 2018) — As recently editorialized by the Pittsfield, Massachusetts newspaper, The Berkshire Eagle, it is time – actually way past time – for Senator Elizabeth Warren (D. Mass.) to fess up.  The Eagle editorial board proposes that she needs to once and for all put to rest the controversy over her claimed Native American heritage as a Cherokee by taking a simple DNA test.

Specifically, the newspaper urges her to “screw up the courage and take the spit test” in order to settle the question because, purportedly in the editorial board’s opinion, she has a “plausible shot at winning the presidency.”  The most recent poll of the paper’s readers (March 7, 2018, – and parenthetically, in one of the deepest indigo-blue states in the nation – indicates that 81%… yes, you read that right…, 81% of those responding agreed that she should take the test against 19% saying she should not.

At this point, recall what this guy once said:

Moreover, quite apart from the Eagle’s comedic suggestion that any shot Warren might have at winning the presidency exists at all as long as Hillary Clinton is still skulking around, the paper also opines that if Warren already has taken a DNA ancestry test and received the results, but is keeping them under wraps, “we urge her to be forthcoming with them. She has nothing to lose but her Achilles’ heel.”

Memo to Elizabeth Warren: if you have taken the test and you don’t like the results because they prove that you have lied about your ancestry and heritage – as many people believe to be the case – take heart, as your cause is not lost.  All you need to do is take a cue from the tactic used by the most recent usurper of the presidency, Barack Hussein Obama Jr.  Take the report to the same folks who ginned up Obama’s “long-form” Hawaiian birth certificate and have them “work the same magic” on the DNA report that was performed as to the “birth certificate.”  Mr. Obama will have their names and contact numbers.  But this time, tell them to be more cautious with their cut ‘n paste techniques and typeface font selections.

Then, once the “adjusted” document fits your desired Native American narrative, just post a picture of it to the Internet and declare that the “issue is settled.”  Simple.  Badda-bing, badda-boom.  Refuse to produce the original of the DNA report with the indignant claim that it is “a private matter.”  No doubt The Berkshire Eagle – not to mention Pravda on the Hudson, CNN, NBC, CBS, ABC, MSNBC – would likely shower you with praise for posting “proof positive” that your proud Cherokee heritage had been finally vindicated.  Moreover, you could fire off a tweet to President Trump saying something like: “So there, you jerk!”

Hey, it worked for Obama, so why would it not work for you?   Maybe you could even get Obama or his attorneys at Perkins Coie to “persuade” the ancestry DNA company which performed the test to enter into a binding non-disclosure agreement, assuming that one does not already exist or that the report be declared confidential on the grounds of “healthcare or medical reasons.”  And if the test was done under the auspices of your lawyers, you could claim the original was protected under the attorney-client privilege and that all the public needed to see had been posted on the Internet.

Never mind that the company’s results had been altered… such matters can always be handled on a “contract” basis by the lawyers, provided enough “compensation” is involved.  Hey, maybe even George Soros could pitch in.

It will be interesting to see what the final Berkshire Eagle’s polling results are… think I’ll go check again now…..

One Response to "The DNA Test"

  1. Three-Pound Sledge   Thursday, March 8, 2018 at 3:40 PM

    We may not fully know who HUSSEIN Obama is, but we can get a hint by knowing who his enablers and cohorts are.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published.

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.