by OPOVV, ©2018

(Mar. 4, 2018) — “Good evening, ladies and gentlemen, and welcome to ‘The Pulse of the Nation,’ the one, no, that’s not right: one of the places where the truth is the commodity; the rule; commonplace unless, of course, we’re wrong, and when we are wrong at least we admit it, make the proper retraction up-front and not three pages in and halfway down. So what do you say we correct a few past mistakes? First, a mistake a couple of years ago: sorry. The second one I’d like to apologize for: again: sorry. There, I’d say that should about cover it. Hello, my name is Roving and I’ll be acting as your host for tonight’s show. What we do is stand out here on the street corner and ask our neighbors what’s bugging them these days. Excuse me, sir; care to be on ‘Pulse,’ the entertaining and informative news program? But first a quick commercial.”

Oh, What A Night” (3:35)

“I don’t think so.”

“Why not? It won’t, like, hurt. Maybe you’re afraid, and I respect that, but you wouldn’t be the first to be tongue-tied in front of the camera. That’s okay; I’ll take it slow and easy. What’s your name and where are to off to on such a fine day?”

“Fine day? You call rain and wind a fine day? Let’s add cold wind; you want to discuss gusts? An 80 mph gust is nothing to sneeze at, you know. Name’s Paul and I’m on my way to see my therapist.”

“You’re nuts?”

“No, I’m not nuts.”

“Maybe you’re cuckoo, ever think of that?”

“Look: I’m not nuts or cuckoo, but I just may be if you keep it up.”

“Cuckoo and aggressive; that makes you, what, a Veteran? Nightmares? Ever hear of a trigger?”

“Who hasn’t? He had it stuffed, so I hear.”

“No, not Trigger the horse, but some sort of sound or word that gets you going.”

“Well, come to think of it, if it gets cold at night I dream about my ex-wife; no, let me re-phrase that: I have a nightmare about my ex-wife.”

How Great Thou Art” (3:09)

“What else pushes your button?”

“You really want to know what pushes my button? What’s been happening to a shipmate of mine, Commander Fitzpatrick, down in TN. He wanted to see if the proof that Obama was eligible to be the Commander-in-Chief, so the cops are giving him a hard time.”

“And that bugs you?”

“Let me put it this way: tonight, as I say my prayers, I’ll pray that the Good Lord puts that police chief next door to me on his retirement.”

“And then what?”

“I’m not saying another word except to say that I’ll make him move within the month, that’s what. And I’ll put that in writing and go to Las Vegas to see if I can find a gullible bookie to put down a bet with.”

“How much?”

“For real?”

“For real.”

“One hundred thousand dollars.”

“No way.”

“Yes way. Get him gone within 30 days. And that goes for any of his deputies and anyone in the corrupt court system down in Monroe County, TN.”

“How can people know about how bad it is down in Monroe County?”

“Not to stroke your ego, Mr. Roving, sir, but your program is viewed by millions.”

“So you used me and my program to make your point?”

“And I thank you for it. Sorry, but I’ve got to catch that train. Bye.”

“And off he goes. What do you say we break for a commercial?”

A Fool Such As I” (2:28)

“I’d like to editorialize a little bit here, if I could. See here: this corruption of the police, of the so-called “justice system” of our country, is only as good and honest as the people who make up the system. Take a Sheriff or the Chief of Police and give them, basically, a blanket immunity and you’re opening a cornucopia of hurt. And let’s not forget that judges are, first and foremost, lawyers, right? So what I’m saying is that if you push the people in a corner that they can’t get out of, at one point they’re going to turn around and bite you. Remember the Revolutionary War.

“The Left-Wing Loonies (aka Democrats) think that they’re having a ball badmouthing President Trump, his family and his administration, but they really ought to remember that one reaps what one sows and sowing hate and wishing harm to our country is not the way to go through life.

“I learned Judo when I was stationed at the transit barracks in Yokohama, Japan, and little did I know that less than a year later two guys would jump me and put a knife to my throat: I walked away; they didn’t. And while at the transit barracks in Subic Bay, the Philippines, I was volunteered for a ‘peaceful humanitarian’ mission which turned out to be a fight to the  death, where we had to get down and dirty in order to survive, as in ‘crawling at night with knives.’ Enough said, but my point is that I paid my dues, as did all of us who took the Oath to defend the CONSTITUTION. Excuse us while we throw in a commercial.”

Volare” (2:32)

“So the long and short of it is this: this obsession with bashing America, with her freedom of speech and Second Amendment, and her ‘In God We Trust’ ends. So I hear from the peanut gallery the word ‘Rights,’ and I say if you want to play that game, so can we: in spades. The Left is using a specious argument when it uses existing laws to do us in, because that’s exactly how the NAZI PARTY got control of Germany: they used their own laws to do them in. So just because an atheist can use our own courts to tear down crosses across our country, and they’re within their rights to do so, doesn’t necessarily mean it’s the right thing to do, and that’s where we Veterans step up to the plate and give the judges a clear choice: either choose America or take a hike. Another commercial break.”

Up On The Roof” (2:36)

“The people of Germany let the NAZI PARTY force the country of enlightenment into the destruction that is Socialism, which just happens to be the direction that Obama and then Hillary wished to pursue. And those same self-destructive forces are still entrenched throughout our country, from Monroe County, TN, down to Broward County, FL, and everywhere else. There is no difference between a bullet aimed at my head and an illegal immigrant casting a ballot in America, and the election officials allowing voting fraud to continue is not the correct way to, as they say, ‘run a railroad.’

“And now I’m getting frantic signals for me to wrap it up and so, on behalf of the crew, thanks for watching, and I hope you all have a good night: Goodnight.

“Ran a little bit over; sorry about that. Let me tell you about one of my triggers: mention the word ‘Russian dossier’ when I’m in line at the grocery store. Burger time: my treat.”

[*piece: gun; rifle; preferably a BAR.]

Who’s That Knocking” (2:32)


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  1. NFL Kneelers: If you don’t stand for the national anthem, what do you stand for?

    Obama and Hillary et al from the THEFT LEFT: Just because someone stole your childhood does not make it right to steal the future prosperity of others.