GOVERNMENT “MUMBO-JUMBO”

by OPOVV, ©2018

(Jan. 13, 2018) — “Hello, ladies and gentlemen, and welcome to the second airing of my most important info-news program, the first of which hit the nail out of the ballpark where we (I; Me) got 89.7% of the viewing audience in our time slot, a record that will stand in infamy, unless something extraordinary happens, like aliens landing on Devil’s Tower.

“Pardon me? ‘Nail’ is a ‘ball?’ ‘Hit the ball out of the park’? Oh, sorry, an underling is correcting my Englishes. Pardon me? Just one English? But how can that be? There are many words so I say I speak Englishes. Wrong: my show, so there: so sorry about interruption.

“Now, where was I? Oh, yes, popular show so the guest I have on this time is I, Professor Zorkophsky, eminent psychiatry practitioner extraordinaire. Let’s start after this commercial.”

Balalaika” (2:40)

“Welcome to the show, Professor.”

“Thank you for your gracious invite. My gosh, an engraved invitation at that, so who am I to decline?”

“Who, indeed? The question of the day is the all-out assault on our senses from trivia. Could you please explain such a crazy phenomenon to the lay person without using a bunch of mumbo-jumbo?”

“No; I’m sorry; can’t be done; impossible; why, the profession would dry up and wither away if we can’t confuse the poor (after we’re through with them) with our esoteric, as you say, ‘mumbo-jumbo.’ I’ll have you know, young suave character-about-town that you are, that it’s that your so-called mumbo that keeps me on Easy Street, and the jumbo is the profit, aka gravy.”

“You seem to be well-versed on monetary principles, but before you answer we have to break for a commercial.”

Lara’s Theme” (2:25)

“You noticed? It’s that obvious? I didn’t know, and while we – along with everybody else – are talking trash, the people who stole millions from the Iraqi ‘Oil for food and medicine for the little kiddies’ got away free and clear; the same thing happened with Obama’s (not his real name, did you know that? He’s an impostor; a fraud; a ‘cheap suit’) STIMULUS MONEY LAUNDERING FRAUD; and the Federal Reserve — well, just being the Federal Reserve bank conducting business for over a hundred years without a public audit.”

“You seem to be upset.”

“Not much. I mean, just because the USA is a corporation that’s financed by people who contribute but don’t have access to the books is, in my mind at least, highly suspicious.”

“Did you say ‘suspicious?’”

“You know I did.”

“You don’t trust anybody, do you?”

“Remember when I wrote, in Chapter 6, I think it was.”

“Page 145, 3rd paragraph.”

“That’s right. I wrote: ‘Once a young man experiences combat, up close and personal, to the death, a part of him becomes detached from humanity; it’s like the empathy that he held for the human race has been erased and the only known cure to regain that lost trust is the love of a spouse to whom they can place their life completely.’ I was rather proud of that book because it became a textbook for the VA doctors assigned to treat the wackos.”

“Did you just say ‘wackos?’”

“You know I did.”

“Is that a real honest-to-goodness medical condition that psychiatrists use in a professional manner?”

“Who you trying to kid? Of course it is. I’ll have you know that I’ve taken as many psychology classes as I can take.”

“Don’t I know it? So, tell me, what happens when a Veteran’s spouse cheats on the other?”

“Don’t you remember that NAVY Vet who married the love of his life and she cheated on him, in San Diego I think it was? He spent the next ten years of his worthless, sorry existence going to sleep every night with his hand on the trigger and the barrel pointed at his head.”

“Sad story, and there’s literally thousands of Veterans who are in the same boat. What do you say we take a quick break?”

Tchaikovsky-6 pieces, Op. 51, Valse Sentimental” (2:50)

“But it’s hard for the wives, married to a wacko.”

“That is a fact, but it’s also a fact that time heals, and the women who can put up with the silence, the moods, are rewarded later in life: I’ve seen it.”

“These women, these spouses who cheat, what happens to them? I mean, she cheats and then ex-boyfriend or husband commits suicide; what do they think?”

“You want the truth?”

“Yes.”

“They say, ‘I knew he was crazy.‘”

“And that’s it?”

“You see, it’s not the opioids and the downers and the pain-killers: it’s the bottom line; the hidden cause; the inability to express oneself.”

“Because of trust.”

“Because of lack of trust.”

“Wackos.”

“No, not at all; just guys who were on the edge and made it back. I knew a guy, a World War II Veteran, Army private, who once told me his wife saved his life, EVERY DAY.”

“So what are you saying?”

“Well, first I’m saying ‘Read our book’ and then I’m saying that the most effective cure for a combat Veteran with PTSD is a spouse who they can trust with their lives.”

“Rare?”

“Apparently somewhat, after all, 22+ Veterans a day committing suicide is so far beyond the population average as to be waving a huge white flag signifying, I SURRENDER; HELP ME.”

“And they don’t get the help they need.”

“The biggest problem is one of communication: they don’t know how to ask for the help they need, which is why it’s important for the spouse to go along with the Veteran when they see the shrink.”

“For real?”

“Look at it this way: the spouse who refuses marriage counseling is a failed marriage.”

“Sad.”

“You better believe it.”

“Thank you for watching our show; we were glad to have you as our audience and so, on behalf of the crew, I’ll now be wishing you all a goodnight: Goodnight.

“Great show, you think?”

“I just know it had to be. I feel sorry for those young men who don’t get the help they need.”

“The whole country mourns, unless they’re an Obot, Occupier, Black Lives Matter, ANTIFA, Hillary and Bernie Sanders supporters and all the other Socialists; DACA  and all the other illegal immigrants who thumb their noses at the laws of the United States; who treat Americans with disrespect, disdain and dishonor by the very fact that they’re here illegally; and Democrats who, as Attorney General Janet Napolitano once wrote, that ‘returning veterans among terrorist risks to the US.’”

“Hey, crew, I say it’s burger time: our treat.”

Back in the USSR” (2:50)

OPOVV

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