Special NFL Edition from “Pulse” (RR)

“PROTESTING THE NFL”

by OPOVV, ©2017

(Oct. 2, 2017) — “Good evening, ladies and gentlemen, and welcome yet again to another special edition of ‘Pulse of the Nation.’ Pardon me? The first? You mean we’ve never had a ‘Special Edition’ before now? Then I think it’s about time.

“I was going to ask why President Trump doesn’t make McCain and everyone else in the government go on Obamacare, but this NFL stupidity is, according to our producer, more ‘newsworthy,’ which is the catch-word to hoodwink more viewers to watch the show.

“But first, time for a commercial.”

“Toora-Loora-Looral” 3:38

“Hello, my name is Roving and we’re out in front of the city’s professional football team’s stadium to ask the people here why they’re here. Excuse me, sir, Roving for ‘Pulse.’”

“Hey, look who I got. It’s Roving; hey, Roving, how you doin’? You want a beer?”

“Sorry, can’t have any alcohol while on the job; it’s just something that Workmen’s Comp frowns upon.”

“Just one beer? Here, one lousy ice-cold beer. Here, take it. And there’s more where this came from. Look, Joe brought some for your crew. Drink up.”

“Maybe later. Look, what time you all get here?”

“What you’re really asking is what time did we start our tailgate party; what time we started drinking. Okay, I’ll answer: a while ago; maybe we got here at 10, or 8; but we did get here this morning.”

“Your T-shirt says, ‘I Stand for the Anthem.’ What, exactly, does that mean?”

“Tough question and I’m glad you asked. It means maybe I stand for the anthem, you think?”

“So in order to stand for the anthem, don’t you have to be in the stadium?”

“Ah, yes? That’s right; we’ll be standing in the stadium for the anthem, for sure.”

“But why go inside the stadium in the first place, is my question.”

“But I got seasons tickets; of course I’m going into the stadium.”

“But don’t you understand? You’re the problem. What’s wrong, afraid to be inconvenienced?”

“I’m not the one kneeling; how come it’s all of a sudden all my fault?”

“Because the NFL is over, get it? The ‘Black Lives Matter’ and ‘Dead Cops’ hit Middle America right between the eyes. And the only way to fight fire with fire is to have a bigger fire, and a bigger fire would be to not watch the games either in person or on the TV.”

“I don’t know. You seem to be making it more complicated than it really has to be.”

“No, I’m not: not watching means you’re not supporting the idiocy of the ‘Black Lives Matter’ and the ‘Nation of Islam’ stupidity. It’s straightforward and as simple as it could possibly be.”

“Look, it’s been a lot of fun being on ‘Pulse’ and all, but the game starts pretty soon.”

“So you’re going in to be counted?”

“I’m going in to stand.”

“Bye. Excuse me, Roving here for ‘Pulse.’”

“Oh, how you doin’?”

“Fine; thank you for asking. Are you two going to the game?”

“No way. We’re out here protesting the NFL, and before you ask, we burned our season tickets and all the NFL stuff from the den and off the walls of the garage yesterday; it’s all on the Internet. No, we’re finished with the NFL, and this is the last time we’ll visit our stadium.”

“How long have you been season ticket-holders?”

“Got them the year we got married: ten years and never missed a game, until this year, that is.”

“Curious: did you ever serve in the military?”

“You bet. She’s an Army brat and I’m an Army guy. We made these posters yesterday and are quite proud of ourselves, by the way.”

“So you’re not here to see the game, just to show your signs. Let’s see, yours reads, ‘I STAND WITH HONOR’ and you wife’s reads ‘NO FANS LEFT.’”

“We got that one from Michelle Malkin.”

“Good, very good. Thank you for talking with us. Well, there you have it. Looks like the linking of the arms and then standing just doesn’t mean squat. And I see that our time is up, so on behalf of the crew, I’ll be wishing you all a goodnight: Goodnight.

“Good show. I’d have thought, by now, this place would be dead as a doornail. Burger time: my treat.”

“Stay” 1:38

OPOVV