by OPOVV , ©2017

(Sep. 7, 2017) — “Good evening, ladies and gentlemen, and welcome to another exciting episode of ‘Pulse of the Nation.’ Hello, my name is Roving and I’ll be your host interviewing our neighbors to see what frustrates them these days. We’re back on our corner across the street from the railroad station about to waylay this young lady. Excuse me, please, Roving here for ‘Pulse.’

“Oh, hello. Daisy and I watch your show whenever you’re on. You sure come up with some off-the-wall stuff, and that professor does nothing but write bestsellers, doesn’t he? Where does he have the time to write all those books?”

“Who’s Daisy?”

“My dog; she’s a Chihuahua I got at the shelter.”

“Good for you. I wish more people would adopt from shelters. As far as the professor goes, I don’t know his secret except that he’s got a terrific editor and a publisher who has a tremendous PR firm advertising his books. Okay, here’s the question of the day: in anticipation of Hurricane Irma, the governor of the Virgin Islands has ordered the confiscation of the citizens’ guns, ostensibly disarming the population so they become, by default, easy targets for the lawbreakers (and, these days, big government).”

“Why, that’s absurd! Aren’t the Virgin Islands protected by our military? You mean the Navy is protecting a dictatorship? A tyrant? Heck, if that’s the case, then let the Spanish have those islands and the heck with them. And here comes my train.

“Oh, by the way, I heard that governor try and weasel his way out of his Hitler’s Third Reich* statement on Hannity the other night and I, for one, am just not buying into it. Bye.”

“Bye. Who’s next? Excuse me, sir, care to answer a question for us?”

“Okay, I guess I will but, first, who’s this ‘us’? There’s you, the girl holding the microphone and the cameraman; any others?”

“Oh, I’m sorry, my name is Roving Reporter and you’re on ‘Pulse of the Nation,’ the ever-popular television human interest show that is the most-watched in its time-slot.”

“You see, I wouldn’t have known that. I got rid of my TV on 9-11 and I’ll tell you why. After seeing those people jumping out of the Twin Towers and then watching the Muslims in East St. Louis, Newark and the Gaza strip, and then learning that we allowed those murderers into our country on purpose, well, that ended television for me.”

“So how do you get your news? How do you stay informed?”

“I read the bestsellers, such as Professor Zorkophsky; spy novels; the Internet; and in my normal everyday conversations.”

“What about newspapers and magazines?”

“Don’t waste my time. If I wanted the opinion of a two-year-old I’d go to the playground. The only truth on television these days is the weather radar; all the rest is nothing but phony-bologna.”

“That’s fair. So, since you don’t know who I am, I take it you’re not familiar with The Post & Email?”

“Strange, you’re the second person this morning who asked me that. No, I’m not, but I’ll check it out first chance.”

“They print out a transcript of this show, is why I asked. Anyway, what do you think about President Trump donating his money for Hurricane Harvey relief to Christian charities?”

“Who else would he give the money to, some Muslim Relief Organization? Remember that Holy Land Foundation for Relief and Development scam? They were collecting money for terrorists, weren’t they? And they went to court about it, too. And CAIR’s involved, too, and they’re still operating in this country. What, are we deaf, dumb and blind?”

“Well, now, truthfully? Yes.”

“Good for you. You want stupid? You want nose-under-the-tent-flap stupid? Fox News, every day, does the ‘Oh, look, everyone, what we have here is a moderate Muslim,’ as if they’re some sort of rare species, which they are. Matter-of-fact, they’re so rare as to be nonexistent. That’s what that sleazy ‘I saw the BIRTH CERTIFICATE Bill O’Reilly** said every night: ‘Moderate Muslim; Moderate Muslim; Moderate Muslim.’ That’s when I stopped watching him. And now I don’t watch any of them.

“They’re all the same, you know. Either outright owned by Muslims or by Obots, Left-Wing Loonies: they’re all the same when it comes right down to it: anti-USA.”

“You don’t mince words, do you, now?”

“I’m too old for silly, childish games. Take these Occupiers and Antifa morons; people being used as pawns by people who will, gladly, send them to the front of the line to the gas chambers. And this one is my train. I’ll check out that P&E website.”

“Do that; time for one more? Hello, there: Roving for ‘Pulse.’ Got time to answer a question for us?”

“If it’s a ‘yes’ or ‘no’ answer, I do. If not I’ll miss my train and I’ll have to hurry. I don’t like to hurry. I’m an early bird; at least that’s what my mother used to say. I’ve learned to be on time every time; I guess it’s just natural. You know I’ve never been late; that is, if you don’t count the car accident and the time it snowed two feet while everybody was sleeping, but I don’t count them. The car accident wasn’t my fault and neither was the snow, was it? You don’t have to answer if you don’t want to.”

“Hold it! Wait just one minute, will you? I’ve a question for you: what are the chances of a Jihadist finding a wife and raising a family?”

“Not a chance. In World War II, the Germans had young men guard the concentration camps, right? So after the war how do you think their lives turned out? I think they drank and beat their wives and kids.

“So I think these Jihadists have an arranged ‘marriage,’ or else they’ll buy a wife/slave and the whole cycle will perpetuate for another 1,400 years: generation after generation of nothing but hate: hate the Jews and Christians and all the other nonbelievers of the world, for it is they, and they alone, who are to blame for the idiocy that is Islam; at least that’s the dogma they push. Talk about how to remove the very emotions that make a human a human: become a Muslim. ‘Death to those who insult Islam and to all nonbelievers.’ Kind-of leaves out dialog, doesn’t it? So Trump did not donate to any Muslim Harvey Relief Fund.”

“You’re right: he didn’t.”

“Good for him, and I must run or I’ll be late. Did I tell you I pride myself on being on time? I may have told you about the car accident and the snowstorm, but I didn’t tell you about the plane that was late, and I mean late by about five hours. Someone was supposed to meet me, and when I finally reached my destination that person was still waiting. But I’m not counting that one since it wasn’t my fault. It was the airline’s fault.

“And then I was supposed to meet someone at the airport but I was late because there was an accident on a bridge and I was on that bridge, and I’m not going to count that one, either.”

“I’m sorry to cut you off, but our time has expired and I didn’t even have enough time to read a letter; darn. Oh, I do? Okay, hand me one, please, unless it asks for the Talking Dog. None? Okay, now it’s time for me to say to our viewing audience, on behalf of the crew, to have a goodnight: Goodnight.

“Lady, we usually grab a burger after we record the show; care to join us? My treat.”

[*Hitler’s Third Reich: First order of business after Hitler came to power was to confiscate the German citizens’ weapons, which eliminated any possible opposition to the National Socialism Party (NAZI) from taking charge.]

[**Bill O’Reilly: I, too, along with millions of other Americans, watched the Muslims celebrate on the morning of 9-11; the Gaza Strip was packed.]



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