by OPOVV, ©2017

(Mar. 11, 2017) — “Good evening, ladies and gentlemen, and welcome to ‘The Pulse of the Nation,’ the show that attempts to explain this crazy world we all live in, together, for the only escape is by a rocket ship or death. Forgive me if I sound a little bit gloomy, but this job is starting to wear a bit. We’re in a little dive, what? Can’t say ‘dive?’ What about ‘diner?’ Okay, then, we’re in a ‘diner’ outside of town because we’re in a rebellious mood and sick and tired of seeing the same people walk by and get on the train going to wherever for whatever.

“You want me to interview you? That’s my job; might as well; we’re here. So, tell our viewing audience, what’s going on in your life?”

“You mean that’s the question of the day? Doesn’t sound like much of a question, does it? Why don’t you ask what I do for a living instead?”

“Here’s an idea: how ‘bout telling our loyal viewing audience what you do to put bread on the table?”

“Great question, son, and I’m glad you asked it. I’m a Democratic Strategist, or, to be totally truthful, I’m a retired Democratic Strategist. Maybe ‘retired’ is more like it; maybe fired; maybe had it up to here and quit; maybe just walked away from it all.”

“Alright: I’m game, which one was it?”

“Did anyone ever tell you you’ve got one horrible sense of humor?”

“Every day; gives me a sense of ‘wake-up,’ ‘cause I love to upset as many people as I possibly can, which is why I love my job. Go on with your most exciting story of your ‘Oh, gee whiz, I-can’t-put-the-book-down life.’”

“As I was saying, I’m the one who came up with ‘Trump and the Russians.’”

“No kidding? Go on; this may be interesting.”

“Way back last summer I decided the way to get to Trump was to introduce allegations of stuff that couldn’t be proved or, for that matter, disproved. It’s the old ‘Did Dinosaurs Skateboard?’ theory, which was introduced by Professor Zorkophsky in one of his many books.”

“I’m sorry; I’m not familiar with that one.”

“It’s like this: you allege something so outlandish and so blatantly impossible and just run with it. And so I decided who’s the last person on earth, I mean of ALL the presidential candidates – back in June of 2016 – which one would the Russians not want the most? Why, Trump, of course. Look at all the wimps that were vying for the presidency; ‘amnesty’ this; ‘love’ that; open borders; ‘dream’ malarkey; welcoming ‘refugees,’ and all the rest of it.”

You did that?”

“And they bought it, lock, stock and barrel. ALL of it, never stopping to think how stupid the Russians must be to support the most-feared possible candidate of all of them. And it keeps on going, and that’s what got me in trouble. One day I said, ‘Nobody can be that stupid as to believe the Russians would prefer Trump over somebody they just stole Grade ‘A’ uranium from.’ And that’s what did it.”

“And that got you run out of Dodge?”

“That was it: the most illogical statement in history and the press ran with it, and they’re still pushing the utterly obvious false narrative. ‘Pathetic’ is all I can say. Anyway, I’m all talked out. Say, is that the ‘talking dog?’ Mind if I say hello?”

“The dog doesn’t actually ‘talk.’”

“Just take a minute; you don’t mind, do you?”

“Oh, no, not at all. As they say, ‘Whatever floats your boat.’ Go for it. And I see that our time is up for this edition of ‘Pulse.’ I want to thank you all for watching and, on behalf of my dedicated and professional crew, I want to wish you all a goodnight: Goodnight.

“Well, we always knew people were dumb, but to be so stupid as to not be able to see through such an impossibility — the Russians wanting Trump over Hillary — is actually quite amusing, in a sick way, of course. That’s it: burger time: my treat.”

“High Noon”


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