“EMOTION OVER REASON”
by OPOVV, ©2017
(Jan. 27, 2017) — “Good evening, ladies and gentlemen, and, once again, as our faithful viewers can see, we’re back at the university in the office of Professor Zorkophsky, here to talk about his new bestseller: ‘What Do You Say it’s About Time We Rename those Terrible Twos, Yes?’
“Hello. My name is Roving and I’ll be your host for this episode of ‘Pulse of the Nation,’ the program that brings you interesting stuff. Professor, once again you knocked it out of the ballpark. How do you do it?”
“Please, call me ‘Zork;’ it saves ‘ear time.’”
“Great. I know I shouldn’t ask, that I’ll regret it for the rest of my life, but what in tarnation is ‘ear time?’”
“Ears can wear out, or didn’t you know that?”
“No, I didn’t, and no one else did, either. Why such a long title for your latest book? What’s the point? Why couldn’t you name it ‘The New Twos’ or something else short and sweet?”
“Because my editor is a great fan of Dickens, that’s why. Back then thy got paid by the word, you know, so I write long titles to get paid more money. I write for money, you know.”
“Yes, of course. So what’s the connection with Schumer?”
“Isn’t it obvious? Spoiled brat? Tantrum every time he doesn’t get his way? Likes to be the center of attention? Look, it wasn’t me who came up with the ‘Schumer Effect,’ it was, believe it or not, the NSA.”
“The ’No Such Agency’? You’re kidding?”
“Never kid. Besides, the NSA lacks humor. When they hire they show old films to applicants, and if you’re caught laughing they won’t hire you; Red Skelton skits, too. And lately Nancy Pelosi saying ‘We have to pass it (Obamacare) to see what’s in it.’ They figure if that doesn’t make you laugh, nothing will, and they just don’t hire people who laugh at funny stuff.”
“No kidding?”
“Never. They even have ‘laugh detection devices’ that they have to wear which pass for identity cards that they have to swipe wherever they go. But we’re straying off-track.”
“Yes, we were. Back to the book: so do you think people will teach their kids not to act like Schumer, is that the idea?”
“Absolutely. Look, we even did a test. What we did was to ask President Trump to sign ten personal checks ranging from $1.00 to $10,000,000.00. True story, and they were all good. So we took those checks to Schumer’s office and passed them out and told them that they were checks, personal checks, from Trump. And you know what happened? Each one of them stood up and made a show of walking to the shredder and making a big production of shredding the envelopes, which they never opened, and taking bows, as if they were on stage after a five-minute standing ovation of Shakespeare’s ‘Romeo and Juliet.’”
“No kidding? Shredded a good 10 million dollar check?”
“That’s how much hate has clouded their vision, I mean their vision for the future, of what’s good for America. Illegal anything is not good for America, including the millions of illegal immigrants. But Schumer is so blinded by his misplaced hate for Trump that he’s a lost soul; the real irredeemable and deplorable, and that’s the truth. That’s all in Chapter 9, by the way.”
“So we’re not going to be referring to our out-of-control two-year-olds as in ‘The Terrible Twos,’ but rather, in the ‘Schumer Years,’ is that it? That’s what we’re to get out of the book?”
“That’s it in a nutshell. And it’s already on the bestseller list. Oh, happy day, I say.”
“Okay, and our time is up. So Schumer is a total loser in that he’s so blinded by his hate for Trump and for America he acts out of emotion rather than reason. Hey, that’s how Democrats vote, isn’t it? Emotion over reason. What a way to run a railroad.
“Unfortunately for us, our time is up. I’d like to thank you, Zork, for talking with us, and with that I’ll be saying, on behalf of the crew, that each of you have a goodnight: Goodnight.
“Hey Zork, join us in the cafeteria for burgers: my treat.”
“(Just Like) Romero and Juliet”