“TODAY’S MEANING IS NOT YESTERDAY’S MEANING”
by OPOVV, ©2016
(Dec. 9, 2016) — “Good evening, ladies and gentlemen, and thank you for choosing ‘Pulse of the Nation’ for your in-depth news coverage. As you can see, we’re back in Professor Zorkophsky’s office to interview him about his new bestseller, ‘The Definitive Islamic Primer: What They Know that You Don’t.’
“Hello, I’m your Roving Reporter and this here is Professor Zorkophsky.”
“Call me ‘Zork.’”
“Then ‘Zork’ it is. Okay, another bestseller: how do you do it?”
“It’s not so hard. Actually, the books that I write are already written: all I do is put the chapters in order.”
“Would you care to elaborate a little bit for some of our ignorant and, let’s face it, stupid viewers?”
“Not at all; why, most of my students couldn’t pass a Left Hand/Right Hand test. They wouldn’t even get past the ‘Write Name in Upper Right-Hand Corner.’ I get papers with no names; papers with names on the top, but middle; just first names and many with ‘X’s.’”
“So how do you grade any of them?”
“Grade? Why, just for having the instinct of procreating with abandon I give them all ‘A’s,’ that and the ability to register and find the classroom.”
“No kidding?”
“No kidding.”
“Talk us through your new book, if you would, please.”
“Gladly. It has been calculated – by my publisher – that any exposure on television is good for a ‘TWO-SALE.’ On national TV it’s as high as a ‘TEN-SALE,’ and those are within two days of the broadcast.”
“Which means?”
“Two thousand books will sell locally within the next 48 hours; 10,000 sales if the interview is on ‘FOX and Friends,’ for instance.”
“Yikes!”
“You got it. Now: Chapter One is where I explain that we Infidels are ‘the walking dead’; at least that’s what Muslims think. You see, when they see us Americans they don’t see living people, no; they picture what our corpses will look like. Some Muslims like to see rivers of blood, well, they are the stabbers: they like knives. Others like to see people fall, and those are the ones that will watch people falling from the Twin Towers.
“You do know, don’t you, that Muslims around the world – including right here in the USA – celebrate September 11th as a religious holiday? Look on your calendar: more and more you’ll find it – 9-11 – as a day to remember just as other Islamic religious holidays are to be remembered.
“And speaking of calendars, I don’t know if you’ve noticed, but it’s getting harder and harder to find a calendar where we’ll see ‘Christmas’ listed: in the near future it’ll be a ‘Federal Employee Day Off for Real.’”
“What’s in Chapter Two?”
“The meaning of words. Take the word ‘refugee,’ for instance. Today’s meaning is not yesterday’s meaning. Today’s meaning is ‘Wool Over Your Eyes: Muslim Invading Army.’ And there’s others.”
“Such as?”
“’Peaceful’ is one of the best. Today’s meaning of ‘peaceful’ is basically to ‘push off tall buildings.’ For the word ‘misunderstood,’ picture a photograph of a girl buried up to her neck and then being stoned to death because ‘She looked at a boy.’
“Chapter Three describes the definition of a ‘political environment vs. a religious environment,’ which debunks the notion that Islam is a religion: Islam follows the political guidelines of a Totalitarian system of government, and there’s no known way to say it any more bluntly and simply than that.”
“But people apparently still don’t get the message, do they?”
“Nothing new. Islam has been pushing itself off as a ‘mainstream religion’ for over a thousand years, so what else is new? Look, I don’t want to come off as a know-it-all or a rude person, but most Americans are being led by the nose, by this devastating Muslim narrative of Islam being ‘taken over’ by ‘radicals.’ Look, nothing’s been ‘taken over,’ okay?
“I was in the San Diego area last month (actually in La Jolla at a book signing and will be in Nashville next week; then off to the Big Apple. The book is doing really well, thank you.”
“And with that I’ll have to announce that our time is up. Thank you for meeting with us, Zork, and, on behalf of the crew, I’ll be wishing all of our wonderful viewers a goodnight: Goodnight.
“Good show. Hey, Zork, I’ve a question for you. I’ve a couple of oak trees in my front yard; nice trees, around 60 years old. Well, this year the acorn production was about as near to zero as one could get. Any ideas? How about joining us for burgers? My treat.”
“What Kind of Fool Do You Think I Am”