“HINDERING THE ROADRUNNER”
by OPOVV, ©2016
“Welcome to the show, Mr. Slovnoff. By the way, may I ask what kind of name ‘Slovnoff’ is?”
“Yes, of course. ‘Slovnoff’ is a great name! You listen to me: ‘Slovnoff’ has been around for years, maybe thousands of years. Did you know that Slovnoffs were with Moses and Alexander the Great? Even the Khans, Genghis and Kubla. When Jason and his Argonauts went on their adventures, the first recorded road trip — before sitting around and watching the grapes grow — a Slovnoff was at the tiller, steering the vessel through treacherous shoals.”
“That’s great, but what I meant was is it Russian?”
“Russian? Nyet! Russians are nothing but thieves! They pat you on the back and stab you in the gut! Watch out for the Russians! ‘Slovnoff’ is a proud Polish name. We play the pianos and the harps! We sing Ennio Morricone in open-air public squares! We have culture; Russians have none. We have sewing machines, while the Russians have thimbles.”
“That’s just great. The reason I wanted to interview you was to learn of your brilliant inspiration for the ‘Executive Sandbox.’”
“None other than my grandmother’s egg-timer, a sand-operated machine; a three-minute gizmo. ‘The sands of time’: that sort of thing. A Zen happening.”
“How so? I mean, how do you get from a three-minute egg-timer to an ‘Obot-Whine’; ‘Hillary-Whine’; ‘Black Lives Matter-Whine’ apparatus that helps the inflicted cope with the Christian defeating the Muslim-lover (Hillary)?”
“Easy. Piece of cake. You see, when these non-Trumspsters have a temper tantrum it’s always done in public. I mean, nobody has a ‘Closet Cry-In’ or a ‘Closet Crayon Color-In,’ so when all these immature millennials and those who think they’re adults (based on age) had their public show of immaturity, what they were really doing was wiping their slate clean, in their minds. Really. They think that after they protest they can forgive themselves, just as society must forgive them: the Scientology mindset: ‘Look, everybody, yesterday I was a jerk but today I’m okay.’
“Yes, these protesters are scary. Fifty years ago, after an association with those who Jane Fonda admired, this kid all of a sudden became the hero of the day. Heck, listening to him, all of us other guys were just along for the ride. Maybe we weren’t even there: we were all taking R&R in Krung (Bangkok) or in some other City of Paradise next to a flowing water source invariably named the ‘Perfume River.’ We were – according to the loudmouth — superfluous; unneeded and unwanted when nothing could be farther from the truth. In other words, we weren’t the essentials; the loudmouth was; ergo, the protesters of Trump aren’t needed nor wanted, okay?
“What I mean is that participating in a ‘Cry-In’ does not earn a Free Pass, a free ticket, so to speak, to be forgiven after making a complete fool of oneself. No, so the ‘sand’ connection is one of contemplation: to make and take the time to ponder one’s transgressions. I mean, in a way, to admit failure: ‘I was wrong and now I’ll strive to improve, hopefully, but let’s not jump the gun and hold our breath.’ See what I mean?’
“Well, then, how about this: change the channel. My mother is 97 years young (as she tells it), and ALL her news is from The New York Times and the mainstream television stations. No wonder she doesn’t have a handle on reality, just as the ‘Never Trumpsters’ — protesters — don’t.
“Listen: Wile E. Coyote (Obama) pushed us off the cliff and The Roadrunner (Trump) is rushing in to save us. I say playing with a miniature sandbox is a lot better for all concerned; better than smashing the windows of the cars of people who have to work for a living. Hindering the Roadrunner isn’t the way to solve any preconceived problems.”
“Brilliant. Well, thank you for sharing with us. By the way, where did the Zen bit come from?”
“I was stationed in Yokohama for a couple of months and had a Japanese girlfriend who got me into the spirit of the moment, as it were. Sand, flowing sand, can be a mesmerizing experience. Watching flowing sand is like watching a fire without the heat.”
“Okay. Thank you. I see that our time is up, so what did we learn? For one, those who demonstrate against our president-elect are just making fools of themselves. Okay; that does it, so on behalf of the crew I’ll be wishing you all a goodnight: Goodnight.
“Good job. Burger time: my treat.”