“INVADERS” COULD BE “POSERS”
by OPOVV, ©2016
(Oct. 26, 2016) — “Good evening, ladies and gentlemen, I’m your Roving Reporter, welcoming you to ‘Pulse of the Nation,’ the show that tries to keep it on an even keel. What we do is interview people on their way to work, but for the past almost-eight years all we’ve been doing is interviewing people on their way to be entertained, with the great majority visiting our many fine museums.
“Excuse me, sir, on your way to visit one of our fine museums?”
“How’d you know? We’re from out of town and are staying at a motel and taking the train in and then catching a bus to view artifacts from Egypt Can’t go to Egypt these days unless you have a death wish, isn’t that the truth, Ruby?”
“That’s what you always say, Sam.”
“I’m sure you’ll have a wonderful time. Mind if I ask you a question?”
“Do we get a prize if we get it right?”
“What sort of prize would you have in mind?”
“I’d say the minimum would be a free dinner at one of your fine restaurants would be fair.”
“What do you say I buy you a burger when we’re finished here?”
“Fair enough.”
“Knowing what we know about the world today, what would’ve been your suggestion to the Redcoats in defeating the Colonists?”
“The same suggestion to Hitler and to Emperor Hirohito: invade us by posing as refugees*.”
“Wonderful! A free burger! Wait for us over there, please.”
‘Next? Oh, hello. I remember you; you were in line the other day celebrating the Cubs’ win. What would be your suggestion to Hitler in invading England during World War II?”
“Do I get a free burger?”
“You bet!”
“Why, it’s posing as refugees!”
“Hooray, you win!”
“One more. Oh, look, everyone, it’s the Vietnam Vet with his dog. How you guys doing?”
“I’m doing just fine; she’s doing just fine, too.”
“Oh, sorry. I’ll get right to it, but before I do, how’s that watch idea going, the one that counts down — or is it up? — after the half-hour, like when it’s 8:40 it’ll read ’20 to 9’?”
“So far, so good. I’m thinking of going on Shark Tank, but I’m not sure how my friend would take it; I mean, she’s never flown before. I’d like to tell Mark Cuban that being rich is not synonymous with being smart. I mean, he’s an Obot and supports Hillary, so how dumb is he? What’s the question of the day?”
“The question of the day is: what’s the most cost-effective way of invading the USA?”
“Ha, that’s an easy one: pose as a refugee.”
“Hey, that’s the right answer. You get a free burger. Let’s go, everyone: follow me. Oops, sorry, almost forgot: thank you for watching and so, on behalf of the crew, I’ll be wishing you all a goodnight: Goodnight.”
“Will they let my dog in? I’ve got one of those ‘Emotional Support’ badges for her, see? And I’m wearing one, too.”
“As long as she’s quiet I wouldn’t see a problem. This ‘free burger’ idea may garner more viewers. That would be nice; then maybe the sponsors will pick up the tab. As it is, it’s my treat.”
[*refugee: Muslims posing as rational human beings.]