“FACING LIFE HEAD-ON”
by OPOVV, ©2016
(Oct. 23, 2016) — “Good evening, ladies and gentlemen, and welcome to ‘Pulse of the Nation,’ the show that exposes what the other shows won’t. Hello, I’m your Roving Reporter standing under our favorite awning across from the railroad station waiting to waylay unsuspecting people minding their own business, but today’s an exception.
“Pan the camera to the right, if you would, please. And look: they’re all lined up all away around the block. Hand me that bullhorn, please. Thank you.
“Good morning, fans! This is your Roving Reporter, and we’ll get you all on TV. Just stay where you are and we’ll walk on by and just wave, if you would, please. I’m sorry, we just don’t have the time to interview everyone. but we’ll try to get you all on television.
“And here we go, walking on down the line. Hello. You’ve been up all night? Hello. Wait, here’s a good-looking woman. Excuse me; you’ve been up all night with these thousands of others?
“Oh, yes, and isn’t it wonderful?”
“Yes, it certainly is. And you have your little dog with you. What’s your name? Cheryl? Well, how long have you been a Cub fan?”
“I’m not really a Cub fan: I’m a Cardinal fan but now I’m a Cub fan, too.”
“Hmmm. Well, thank you, I’m sure. And look here, everybody! It’s none other than our Professor Zorkophsky! Imagine seeing you here? How you doing?”
“I am doing fine.”
“And how long have you been a Cub fan, Zork?”
“Well, unlike this gorgeous woman to my right, I’ve been a fan all of my life. Allow me to start from the beginning.”
“Please do.”
“When I became ‘self-aware.’”
“Excuse me: is ‘self-aware’ an accepted medical term that a psychiatrist would use professionally?”
“Oh, yes; I even use the phrase in my books. Now, as I was saying, when I was somewhere around eight years of age I became aware of my self-worth. I somehow became associated with the Cubs organization, which was the first time I became a part of something bigger than my own little world of family, friends and classmates.
“Geography-wise, my world expanded exponentially. The Cubs are playing in New York this weekend and then Detroit? Where’s that? All of a sudden my radius of existence grew to be thousands of miles, a giant leap from the two blocks to school and the playground.
“And so through the years I became a fan. Now there are fans and there are fans. I’m the type of fan – a real fan – who will sit in the cold wind when the score is 7 to zip and we’re not winning but I’ll sit there in the bleachers or in front of the TV set until the last out.
“And this is year-after-year-after year. I don’t know how many times I’ve seen them leave a man stranded on 3rd with no outs. I don’t know how many times I’ve seen them swing at a ball that kicked up dirt. And I don’t know how many times I’ve seen them all run to a pop-fly only to collide and the ball plop between them, or all three of them.
“I’m one of those ‘born’ fans, is what I am. I believe the Cubs never lose, that the Cubs have never lost a game. I believe that the Cubs just don’t win all of the time, that’s all. For instance, a Cubs fan will never say, ‘We lost yesterday;’ rather, a Cubs fan will say, ‘We didn’t win yesterday.’ You see, Cub fans are the most optimistic people in the world.”
“And it carries over in real life, doesn’t it, Roving? Why, I know your story, or a little part of it, when you were surrounded and had absolutely no hope of survival, but you rallied your troops to go out in the middle of the night and crawl on your bellies to confront the enemy on your terms, not theirs. That’s what it’s like being a Cubs fan, isn’t it?”
“True.”
“So we don’t win, or haven’t won, is what they say. WE say ‘Maybe so,’ but that doesn’t mean a designated hitter can’t hit a Grand Slam, does it? That doesn’t mean the 3rd baseman can’t field a well-hit ground ball with his bare hand and rocket it to 1st. That doesn’t mean the outfielder with a torn bicep can’t dive for a fly ball and make the catch, not for a highlight of the week, but for his teammates and ultimately, his fans. Cubs fans are like no other fans on earth. The word ‘loyal’ doesn’t even scratch the surface. Think ‘Life force’ and you’re getting warm. This ‘not losing’ the other day is a whole new feeling for the real honest-to-goodness Cubs fan. It’s like no other feeling in the world.
“Vindicated, some may say. ’Vindicated?’ I think not. Even had they lost the other night, a Cubs fan would’ve still faced life head-on and, because of it, be stronger for it.”
“Whew! That was a mouthful. Thanks for the comment, Professor.
“Excuse me, sir, got a minute?”
“Oh, yes. Hello, Mr. Roving. Wife and I watch your show with our dog. We really enjoy the episodes with the talking dog. Our little guy just barks up a storm whenever he sees that Vet with his dog.”
“Oh, I suppose thanks are in order. Let me ask you this: what about those Cubs?”
“All I can say is ditto what the Professor said: a Cubs fan is like no other. Give me a Cubs fan above all others: ‘neither by snow nor rain nor heat nor darkness.’”
“We get it and thank you. And thank you, you at home, for watching our show and so, on behalf of the crew, I’ll be wishing you all a goodnight: Goodnight.
“Great show. Gosh, you got to hand it to the Cubs fans, is all I can say. I mean, what more is there? Burger time for sure: my treat.”