“A SURE WIN”

by OPOVV, ©2016

(Jun. 2, 2016) — “Good evening, ladies and gentlemen, and welcome to ‘Pulse of the Nation,’ the most-watched show on television in this time slot. We’re here in San Diego, at the end of Broadway, about to interview some Californians about what they think of their governor’s failure to promote peace and tranquility.

“Hello, ma’am, Roving Reporter here.”

“We know who you are. Just because we don’t live on the East Coast doesn’t mean we’re not sophisticated. We have electricity and indoor plumbing and books that we actually read. What’s your question?”

“Well, now, aren’t you argumentative. I must say, though, the Beach Boys had it right when they recorded the song ‘California Girls.’ But here’s the question: what about Trump?”

“There you go again. You think we’re all stupid because we elect stupid governors, but you’d be wrong. It IS true we have a horrible habit of electing stupid governors and none more than we have now, but that doesn’t mean that there aren’t any smart people here.”

“Okay, prove it. What do you do for a living?”

“I used to be a teacher, then I worked for stockbrokers and then I moved to Las Vegas and became a bookie.”

“No kidding: a bookie? So what do you have your book on, sports?”

“No, not sports or whether it’ll be cloudy on the next total solar eclipse. My book is on politics.”

“Politics? Like who wins elections and stuff like that?”

“No, no. Look, there are 100 bookies for every specific bet; who wins the toss? Will there be a double play in the bottom of the 5th? Will his 27th shot be a scratch? Will a Republican win or not?

“My specialty, now, is how many times Trump will use the word ‘win’ during his first State of the Union speech.”

“So you think that Trump will win?”

“It’s a no-brainer. My odds are even on the number 6 and then it goes up or down from there. As an example, I’ll give you 100 to 1 odds that he does NOT use the word ‘win’ more than 20 times. If you want those odds, pay up front. It’s been a real good living. I cleared a cool million with Arnold.”

Schwarzenegger, the former governor?”

“Yes. My book was on him, eh, having an affair with a maid, any maid. I took all the odds that were offered. One Arab Prince laid out $100 K on a 2:1. I could’ve lost big; I would’ve been broke so all I’ve got to say, and if you’re listening to me, Arnold, thanks.”

“What if Trump doesn’t win and make any State of the Union speech?”

“Now who’s the one being ignorant? Look, I’ve got a date at the dog park. See you.”

“Well, folks: a first: a bookie, no less. I always said my job was exciting. ‘Trump a sure win’: works for me. And here’s another person to be interviewed. Hello, sir, how you doing?”

“Hello, Roving. Wife enjoys your show. Watches with the dog.”

“That’s nice. Who you going to vote for?”

“Trump, who else? Go ahead and ask me why.”

“Why? Go ahead and tell us why you’re going to vote for Trump.”

“Because I can’t wait for his State of the Union address, that’s why. For once in my life I’ll hear one that isn’t nothing but lies. I can’t wait for the Truth. And that’s my reason.

“Think about it. Imagine a State of the Union speech from Bernie or Hillary. Wait, on second thought, don’t. Trump’s speech will be the most-watched State of the Union speech ever, count on it. Wouldn’t miss it for anything. The word ‘entertaining’ doesn’t even come close. By electing Trump we’ll finally be told the truth about our state of our Union, the good along with the bad. Hey, just look at the time, will you? Got to run. Bye.”

“You got to love it. Voting for Trump just to hear an honest State of the Union address. Okay, that sounds reasonable. I see that our time is up. I must say the girls out here are sure something. This is Roving saying, on behalf of the crew, good night: Goodnight.”

“Hey, good show, guys. What do you say we check out the dog park. Maybe grab a burger on the way. My treat.”

Semper Fi

OPOVV

 

 

 

 

 

 

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