“THE COVENANT”
by OPOVV, ©2016
(Apr. 3, 2016) — “Good evening, ladies and gentlemen, and welcome to ‘The Pulse of the Nation.’ Today’s a special treat for y’all: we’ve been invited back to the First Baptist Church over on Hawthorn Street by the good pastor Robert. And speaking of whom, here he is now.
“Hello, Pastor Robert, and thanks for the invite. I understand you’ve a powerful sermon that you’d like to share with as many as possible. Well, since we go out on the airwaves worldwide I’d say we’re a good choice. We’ll just set up here in the back and don’t pay us any mind.”
“Make yourself at home, by all means. Thank you for accepting our invitation, Roving and crew. Now, if you’ll excuse me, I’ll get this sermon on the road.
“Welcome, brethren. Back with us is Roving and crew from ‘Pulse of the Nation’ here to broadcast our sermon, so let’s all sing with passion. Let’s start off with our most requested song. For those of you who aren’t quite awake yet, please feel free to join on in. Thank you, one and all. Praise the Lord.
[‘Oh Happy Day’ is heard.]
“Very nice. Thank you very much. Wonderful rendition. The sermon is titled: ‘Open Thine Eyes and Spirit.’
“As long as we refuse to accept that Islam is a political system of Totalitarian control using Draconian methods, we will never be able to understand the depth of their hatred for us ‘Nonbelievers.’
“As Western Civilization self-regulates religion, it is in each of us to define our own way among the stars; to find a personal relationship with the Great Creator of the Heavens; accepting the responsibility to not bring harm to others while content or searching for contentment; to accept the Golden Rule as the building block for mankind’s future.
“It’s a simple and effective recipe for success, for those who are willing to accept it. For those who are on a lifelong rampage against common sense, nowhere in our Bible does it say to lie down and take it. We’re allowed to use any weapon at our disposal in order to defend our way of life, which we will do, without any hesitation or regret, anywhere, anytime.
“Choir, the Lord needs to hear another song.
[‘Where Could I Go But To The Lord’ is heard.]
‘Thank you and Praise the Lord. Please be seated.
“Fact: the word ‘Islamophobia’ is but s synonym for the word ‘survival.’ We accept the truth that we’re in a World War. We fight for the right that our grandchildren will be able to go to a library and read Kafka and Jack London, the Articles of Confederation and Uncle Tom’s Cabin, boys and girls; men and women together.
“Fact: Christianity – and Judaism — are being attacked to extinction by the followers of Islam.
“Fact: We like our pulled-pork BBQ sandwiches; bacon and eggs; Passover and Christmas; celebrating Easter and prayer at our schools. We expect invocations at the beginning of every high school football game, and if anyone in our country is offended by who we are, let him be escorted out of our country ASAP. For real and for good: no Sharia Law and honor killings in America!
‘How about another song, choir?
[‘Onward Christian Soldiers’ is heard.]
“Thank you, choir. Please be seated.
“Fact: The time to stand up and be counted is drawing near: this year we make it (the covenant) or break it. We must all vote for salvation, and that would be Trump. Trumpets, please sound off for Trump.
[The ‘Walls of Jericho’ is heard.]
“Praise the Lord! Our choir is rolling today. Please, y’all be seated. Praise the Lord, for sure.
“Fact: The rifle and shotgun will be your donkey’s jawbone.
“Fact: You will use the brain that the good Lord gave you rather than wallow in the belief that ‘something-for-nothing’ is an admirable trait to be strived for.
“Fact: Socialism has never worked in the history of mankind. The history books are full of depots and dictators lauding the beautiful benefits of the few supporting the many, and when the money runs out, so do the leaders, leaving the peons wailing, ‘Woe to me, Oh Lord, for I have believed in the viper’s promise of the Horn of Plenty blessing me with welfare and food stamps forever and ever. Let me sit on the porch steps sipping Colt 45 beer at 8:00 a.m. and laugh at the government employees painting my Section 8 house and trimming my Section 8 hedges. Let them return and enfold me in the security blanket of Big Government.’
“Amen.
“We’ve had many positive responses from our choir singing. Take it away.
[‘I, John’ is heard.]
“Thank you all very much. In closing, hold hands and bow your heads while we sing the Lord’s Prayer.
[‘Lord’s Prayer’ is heard.]
“Thank you. Let me remind you that the Lord never said to be stupid, so always carry a weapon and please pay attention to your surroundings. Hundreds of our enemy are invading our homeland daily, thanks to the traitorous behavior of many in our government, starting with our de facto president Obama.
“Fact: The Muslim Brotherhood is in the White House. The Muslim Brotherhood — for those of you who’ve been asleep – is a terrorist organization. The ‘Hand of Islam’ is in our tent! Wake up!
“Peace be with you all. We’ve burgers and dogs in the back, along with soft drinks and you’re all invited; you, too, Roving and crew. Stay safe, and until next week, keep the Lord close to your heart.
“We now close our time together in our church by singing this song, and if you don’t know the words, at least stand and clap your hands. Thank you for attending.”
[‘If The Lord Wasn’t Walking By My Side’ is heard.]
“Thank you for watching. This is Roving and crew saying goodnight: Goodnight.”
“Great sermon. Let’s take the good pastor Edward at his word and grab some burgers.”