“COLLECTING A GOVERNMENT PAYCHECK”
by OPOVV, ©2016
(Jan. 30, 2016) — “Good evening, ladies and gentlemen, and welcome to another exciting episode of ‘The Pulse of the Nation.’ As you can see, we’re back at our usual spot under the awning across from the train station about to conduct street interviews.
“Excuse me, sir, Roving here with a question. Got a minute?”
“No, thanks, young man, you’ll just end up spinning whatever I say.”
“But this is a live interview; how could we spin it?”
“You can ‘copy and paste’ and “Photoshop” to your heart’s content. Why, you could substitute any picture for anything, like me skydiving or showing me voting for Hillary.”
“But it’s like live; the here-and-now: right-this-minute; in-your-face. Go ahead and wave: your kids will see you waving in real time. Geez. I take it you’re a Republican. Trump supporter, by any chance?”
“The heck with the parties: I’m supporting the best candidate, which just happens to be Trump. Look, I don’t want to appear rude but there’s my train. Bye.”
“Bye. Thanks. Next? Here’s a young lady with a backpack. Excuse me, got a sec?”
“Sure. Watch you every night.”
“Appreciate that. Who are you going to vote for and why?”
“Hillary, because she wants free college education for all.”
“But it’s not free; someone’s got to pay for it, either through higher property tax, sales tax or payroll tax; the government will collect somehow. So it’s not free; it’s just more Socialism hype that’s never worked and never will work.”
“You sound just like my parents, ‘Go out and get a job’; ‘Make your own way’; ‘Pay as you go’; ‘Save your money.’ Boring. Hillary says it’ll be free, so there.”
“Look, little lady, politicians lie and she’s at the top of the heap. Remember Benghazi, those four Americans left out in the cold?”
“Then how about saving your money and buying a jacket, smarty-pants. You don’t like it because she’ll win and she’ll be the first woman president.”
“Better go buy yourself a burqa, a nice blue one with a little rectangle of mesh to look through so you can see where you’re walking so you don’t trip and fall flat on your face, because you won’t be able to drive. A vote for Hillary equates a vote for Sharia Law, or haven’t you figured that part out yet? Next.”
“But I’m not finished. I want to talk about immigration reform.”
“Lady, you were finished before you walked up to the microphone. As far as immigration goes, how about following the laws already on the books? Next.”
“Hello, Mr. Roving, we watch your show every night. We support you supporting Trump, but I’d like to ask you a question, if that’s allowed.”
“Sure, go ahead.”
“There’s a lot of politicians running for office, isn’t that right?”
“Yes, that’s right.”
“So do they still collect their paycheck for a job they’re not doing? Like, isn’t a governor supposed to govern his state, and a senator supposed to look after the interests of his state in Washington? Well, how can they do their job if they’re spending all of their time on the campaign trail?
“And I understand you’re a Vet. I’d just like to say ‘thank you for your service.’ Maybe you didn’t single-handedly storm a machine gun nest, but you were standing duty somewhere, so thank you.”
“Thank you. I appreciate that. And yes, you’re right on all counts about our currently-employed politicians collecting a government paycheck while on the campaign trail, but that’s how it works: we’ve always given our politicians way too much rope to hang themselves with. Thanks for your comment.
“Well, the sound boom girl is making a slashing motion across her throat, and if she were a Muslim; well, what she means is our time is up. Thank you for watching our show.
“Interesting comment about how our taxpayer dollars are supporting people just to be on the campaign trail. This is your Roving Reporter and crew saying goodnight: Goodnight.”
“Great show. I really like it when people ask questions and make statements. How come people who never worked in their life support Socialism and those who have think Socialism is nuts? At what point do people start to be aware of being taxed to death: when they get their first paycheck, or does it take a little longer?
“What if we were to treat the illegal immigrants the same way we would be treated in their country if we were illegal immigrants? Sounds about fair to me. Enough.
“I’m bushed; what do you say we go and grab a burger? My treat.”