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FEATURING HILLARY & COMPANY
by OPOVV, ©2015
(Dec. 22, 2015) — “Good evening, ladies and gentlemen, and welcome to our potentially award-winning show. We’re here in the Big Apple, on Broadway, to interview the most successful playwright of our generation, one who has had numerous television comedy shows and has entertained us all at one time or another.
“Welcome to our show. It’s been in the shadows and whispered about, but the word going around is that you’re writing another Broadway hit comedy that’s already been picked up for a movie deal and a television series; am I correct?”
“Welcome to New York, Roving and crew. Glad to see you. You know we get your show up here? Always watch it. As to your question about writing a play as a comedy, that is quite correct. We’ve rounded up as many of the great comedians; maybe ‘rounded’ isn’t the right word. We all have Skype on our computers these days so someone in Hawaii can collaborate with someone in Alexandria, MN, with someone like me here and, for all practical purposes, it’s as close as we can get to being in the same room. To date we have seven collaborators, and it’s all coming together very smoothly, I might add.”
“Don’t keep us in suspense, but could you give us a hint or two about what the play is all about?”
“Sure thing, but it’s no secret; as a matter of fact, I gave an interview last month in one of the top monthly magazines where I spelled it all out; I mean, I laid out the basic plot.”
“That’s nice, but could you maybe clue us in?”
“Yes, I can certainly do that. But I’d like to say a few words about this next presidential election, if I may.”
“Sure, you’ve got the floor.”
“Thanks. A lot of people think that people in show biz are all flaming-liberal idiots. That’s not true by a long shot. While it is true that there are those in Hollywood, for instance, whose careers are going down the drain and they’ll grab at anything to get attention, there are many others who are as patriotic as the rest of us, who actually believe that our country is defined by our support of the Constitution.
“All of us writers working on this play support Trump or, to say the same thing in a different way, we don’t support the $19 trillion in debt and giving money to people to just sit around, doing nothing but cause trouble. If you’re going to accept any government handout you’ve got to work for it, something along the lines of the WPA. No work, no food. Can’t make it any more simpler than that.
“I like to know why some people fail to comprehend the word ‘illegal’. Crazy, is it not, how such an easily understood word can be so convoluted as to mean the exact opposite. Let me explain: if you support the deportation of illegal immigrants, it’s somehow assumed that you’re anti-immigration. Not that at all. I support immigration but I do not support illegal immigration. I agree with Trump about the deporting of illegal immigrants, but I wouldn’t stop halfway; no, I’d go all the way and deport Muslims, too.
“Back to the play; we’ve already had rehearsals and are working on a TV pilot for a couple of stations.”
“Mind telling our viewing audience what those stations are?”
“Well, to start, forget any mainstream stations, and we include FOX. The two that we’re working with are BLAZE and NSMAX, two stations that seem to be on the cutting edge of reporting the Truth, if not doing so already.”
“But how much money do you expect to make from these unknown stations?”
“Not much at first, of course, but we’re all successfully well-off writers and, besides, we already have the advertising locked up for nine months, so we’re good to go, I’m proud to say. Some have hinted that the subject matter is outdated, but as long as Hillary is in the news we’re fine.”
“So the play’s about Hillary?”
“Look, I’m sorry to be a bad host, but I have a conference call coming in, so if you’ll excuse me I’ve got to be going.”
“The play, what’s the play about?”
“Thank you. And off he goes. At least we learned about some of the characters in his play, but to make a comedy out of it will be something I just don’t get. It would be like making a comedy out of the Challenger fiasco. Oh, what’s that? Sorry, but the sound-boom girl just said maybe it isn’t a comedy at all, that it’s just plain old marketing. Good point, and with that, this is Roving and crew saying goodnight: Goodnight.”
“Good show. Look, on this food show where they go around looking for the best burgers, on one episode they had a burger made from Kobe Wagyu Beef. What do you say we try one? Or order one and split it in thirds ‘cause they’re pretty expensive. Since I’ll get reimbursed by booking, it’s my treat.”