“THE VA’S A JOKE”
by OPOVV, ©2015
(Nov. 13, 2015) — “Good evening, ladies and gentlemen. As you can see, our producer told us to get out on the street and waylay ‘the common man,’ so here we are, in the rain, no doubt catching pneumonia, some strand of bird flu, or just maybe whooping cough or TB, stuff we haven’t had in this country for a generation but now, thanks to these illegal immigrants, we do. Ah, here comes an unsuspecting target.
“Excuse me, excuse me, please. Roving here. Got a minute?”
“Fat chance. I watched your show. Your so-called minute is way too long for me. To paraphrase my ex-wife, ‘My biological clock is ticking,’ and that’s the case here: I’ve only so much time left, so my ‘biological clock’ is ticking to when the Grim Reaper comes knocking at my door.
“I survived my ex-wife and four years in the Navy. I survived a few days in the boonies because I volunteered for a ‘humanitarian mission’ in Vietnam, which cost me dearly. I didn’t know it at the time, but I know it now.
“Ever been afraid to go to sleep? I mean, really afraid because the nightmare will come. Notice I didn’t say ‘may come;’ I said ‘will come.’ And I didn’t say ‘nightmares;’ I said ‘nightmare.’ One. Only one. Same one. Over and over again, exactly the same without variation. Same look, sound, feel, result.
“I get out — Honorable Discharge — and, 20 years later, I find myself in the same spot: for all intents and purposes, right smack-dab in the middle of San Diego harbor, right where I started from. So I freak, and so would you. Like maybe I don’t want another one of those nightmares. You want the truth? For sure?
“Okay, stand by and I’ll tell it: I don’t know what I’d do if I knew for a fact that I would have another one of those nightmares. True story, and I’m supposed to go to some shrink at the VA hospital who never saw a bullet hit the guy next to you? Never heard the guy you were shooting pool with the night before give his death rattle?
“The VA’s a joke: run by civilians, give me a break. I’m nuts? Not as much as these so-called ‘do-gooders’ who ‘want to help our Vets.’
“Vets are doing themselves in, committing suicide, every day, including Sundays. Muslims in the military, no wonder they’re killing themselves. What? Japs in our military during World War II? Look, don’t get me started, okay? I know this is live television so I wouldn’t want to say something I’d regret, so just ask your question and I’ll be on my way.
“Go ahead, what are you waiting for? Ask. Oh, you want me to ask myself a question, like I know what you would ask anyway, is that it? Is it? It is, isn’t it?
“Okay, how about this one: who would you vote for? The murderer of our troops in Benghazi, or someone who’s shown some common sense? Now that’s a tough one. My question to you is: who gave that stand-down order in Benghazi? Tell me that.
“How stupid do you think I am? Nope, I may suffer from this ‘post-hogwash,’ but that doesn’t mean I haven’t been paying attention, just like every other Veteran. Muslims in the military and Obamacare: give me a break. Global warming and the Federal Reserve: another break. You know what? I need a break. I understand you and your crew are burger connoisseurs. There’s a new joint just around the corner, did you know that?
“Oh, one last thing: right now it’s the Trump-Carson ticket that’ll give us the best chance. Cruz and Rubio are just as ineligible as Obama, are we on the same page on that one? Follow the Constitution and you can’t go wrong. For proof, just look at the disaster our country is in since Obama.
“Now, what do you say you wrap this up and grab that burger, it’ll be my treat. I’d say it’s about time somebody rewarded you guys for doing such a good job reporting ‘The Pulse of the Nation,’ okay?”
“Well, you heard it here, folks: Veterans support Trump. Thanks for watching. This is Roving and crew saying goodnight: Goodnight.”
“Good show. And to think I get paid for this. Heck, all I do is stand on the sidewalk holding a microphone and people just come up and spout off. Not bad if you can get it. Imagine, VA hospitals run by Vets. Great idea. Okay, you guys all packed up? Then let’s go grab ourselves a burger.”