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by OPOVV, ©2015

(Oct. 26, 2015) — “Good evening, ladies and gentlemen. We’re here at a top-secret location a little west of the city to meet with domestic terrorists and maybe find out their secret plans. With me is Grand Master George Bailey.

“George, thank you for inviting us to your lodge. When we pulled in to your parking lot, we saw a lot of trailers with little scooters. Mind telling us what that’s all about?”

“Be glad to, Roving. First I’d like to say thank you for having us on; it’s a great way to promote our cause. And, by the way, wife watches your show and even quotes you for time to time.”

“Why, that’s nice. Thank you, but what’s this ‘promote-a-cause’ all about?”

“I’m so glad you asked. As a matter of fact, that’s the real reason I agreed to be interviewed. Our purpose, our reason for existence, why we’re here, is to raise money for children in need. Our little scooters that you saw out in the parking lot, well, we use those in parades as a way to advertise our cause. We do figure-eights and fly in formation. It’s a lot of fun, and we take great pride in keeping our machines pristine: cleaner than new, and we’ve never had a break-down during a parade, knock-on-wood.

“Riding in parades gets our cause out in front, and every parade outing equals 20 children getting the help they so desperately need. But our biggest thrill of all — nothing else we ever do comes close — is being in the hospital waiting room and hearing and, more importantly, sharing, the good news with the parents of a child that the operation was a success, and then a week or so later visiting that child and taking immense satisfaction knowing that our efforts here, originating from this building and riding those ridiculously small motor scooters, has been vindicated so many times over it makes you cry, and cry we do.

“We cry that the Good Lord has given us the opportunity to help others, and there’s no more innocent group to help than children. We cry because this gives our lives a lot more purpose than tinkering in the garage at our workbench, or being a couch potato, or keeping some bar stool warm. We’re lucky, and we know it.”

“That’s very impressive, George, but I read a while ago, I think it was a memo from Janet Napolitano, Obama’s former head of the Department of Homeland Security, that people like you, people who are Veterans, Patriots, out-and-out supporters of the United States Constitution, have been labeled ‘Domestic Terrorists.’ Before we drove over to this place this afternoon, I did a little research and, lo and behold, that memo is still in effect.

“And on top of that, I did a little bit more research and found your name associated with speaking out against Obamacare. Here’s a quote: ‘Obama isn’t Constitutionally eligible to be the president, ergo, everything he has signed, all those ridiculous laws, and every stupid Executive Order, shall be rendered null and void.’ How do you respond to that?”

“Simple: as long as we’re able to be able to speak the truth, we will. It’s just that simple. Remember when Donald Trump offered Obama $5 million to the charity of his Obama’s choice and Obama didn’t — because he couldn’t — produce his college application forms? That put this group over the edge, let me tell you. Do you have any idea, any idea at all, how many children we could’ve helped with $5 million? Some kids need eye operations; glasses; artificial limbs; years of physical therapy. The list is endless. And Obama couldn’t do it, could he? Well, let me just say that Obama is ungrateful beyond human comprehension and leave it at that. The general consensus is that Obama’s a Muslim, so one couldn’t reasonably expect any less.”

“Oh, we’re on your side, and the majority of our viewers are, too. And for those who are watching who continue to support the usurper-de facto clown in the Rainbow House, we really don’t want you viewership. I’d rather take a hit on ratings; trust me on this one.

“Well, you heard it live, right from the headquarters of one of the targets of Obama’s domestic terror groups. Doesn’t say much for our totally worthless and corrupt DOJ, now, does it?

“Do you know that Lois Lerner is not going to spend one day of her lying, backstabbing life in prison, that she’ll be allowed to collect her unearned pension? I don’t have to say one more word about the worthless DOJ, now do I? I thought not.

“Well, this wasn’t what this was billed as, was it? ‘Secret Interview with Terrorists’ turns out to be a front for providing medical care to children.

“Thank you for inviting us down to your ‘secret clubhouse.’ It was informative and educational. And it just goes to show that the government is more obsessed with trashing the Constitution than ever before. Like they don’t have anything better to do while they allow millions of Muslims to come into our country who get more assistance than any homeless Vietnam Veteran ever did.”

“And ever will, for that matter. Right on target, Roving. Thanks for having me on your show. Enjoyed it. You know about this time our kitchen’s opening and we dish out one mean burger; care to share with us? You’re whole crew’s invited.”

“Be honored. Thank you. Well, ladies and gentlemen, here we thought we were going to hear some real good stuff about a secret organization, but instead we heard about a group of Patriotic retirees going about their ‘Domestic Terrorism’ business raising money to pay for the operations of children in need.

“We’ve done a lot of stories throughout the years, so it gives me great pleasure to say that this was, beyond question, our most enjoyable interview by a long shot. Of course the offer of the burger didn’t hurt any. Just kidding. Thanks for having us, George.

“And thank you, ladies and gentlemen, for watching our show tonight. This is Roving and crew saying goodnight: Goodnight.”

Semper Fi