“YOU DON’T HAVE TO GIVE YOUR MONEY TO THE CHARLATANS”
by OPOVV, ©2015
(Oct. 14, 2015) — “Good evening, ladies and gentlemen. By popular demand, we’re back at the university with Professor Molly Bernard, the Dean of the Sociology Department. The sequel of your best-seller, ‘It’s a Lot Worse then Even You Can Imagine,’ was just released last week, and it’s already climbing the charts. I think it’s No. 7.”
“Make that No. 1, Roving. Because my first book flew off the shelves, the bookstores didn’t want to be caught shorthanded like they were with my first one, so they hedged their bets by pre-ordering more than they normally would. Hence the No. 1 spot. Be that as it may, I’m sure they’ll all be sold; why, major warehouses have already reordered. I’m very flattered that people like my work.”
“I’ll bet. By the way, care to say a few words about your new one? What’s the title?”
“Here, have one. It’s called ‘The End Game IS the End Game.’ It’s about the one-way street of the ‘hate business,’ which is really, believe it or not, a billion-dollar enterprise.
“People have made whole careers preaching hate, and, I may add, have been exceedingly financially successful at it. We can all list the players of our own country, starting with Louis Farrakhan, but other countries have the same problems with their own charlatans running their mouths. You see, it’s relatively easy to make people believe that their laziness and lack of work ethics is somehow someone else’s fault, never their own.
“Even if our country was one race and everyone looked alike, these con-artists would find some handle to preach upon, to lock onto, to expropriate, to use and abuse; and, to put it rather crassly, take advantage of the ill-educated, ill-informed and ill-fortuned. Look, there’s nothing wrong with the public school system because the equalizer is the public library.
“The works of Dostoevsky and Adam Smith are one and the same, from Yale to the Community College in El Cajon, California. If one were so inclined, one could substitute books with the same titles from either library and no one would be the wiser or, in our example, the less wiser.
“My point is no matter where you go there’ll be people with some kind of edge; some kind of gimmick to make themselves appear more grandiose than they really are; more ‘sage-like;’ more of a Moses and Hitler complex rolled into one egomaniac, as in ‘Look, everyone, I and only I, have all the answers.’
“Let me clue you and your viewers in on a bit of reality: the last person who stood up and said that he had all the answers got himself crucified. That’s right. It was inevitable. He knew the price, the cost of speaking the Truth, and he paid for it. Would we?
“All Jesus said was that you don’t have to give your money to the charlatans who eat T-bone while you eat ‘What-the-heck-is-in-that-ground-dog-road-kill?’ In other words, feed others as you would feed yourself, which just happens to be the first level of the Golden Rule: ‘If you won’t eat it, don’t serve it.’
“By the way, that’s all to be in my next book, all about today’s politicians; you know, the Pacific Trade Deal: ‘You can’t read it before we vote on it and you can’t read it after we vote on it.’
“Look, I know we’re on live television and I hate to be rude, but just thinking about some of our career politicians really makes me sick. I mean really, not figuratively, so if you’ll excuse me, I’ve got to go and be sick.
“There’s a whole list of politicians who give me the same reaction. Don’t say Obama’s ‘middle name’ McCain is one. But in order to protect my editor, publisher and myself, we’ve included in my new book airline BARF bags on every page where McCain and other sleaze-buckets are named. Valerie Jarrett; Obama; Eric Holder; Janet Napolitano; Hillary; Mao; Harry Reid; Pol Pot; Nancy Pelosi; Stalin, and a host of other supporters of National Socialism. You get the picture: same plan, different faces: the Radical Science of Hate.
“But these bags are plastic, really thin but strong. I think there’s in the neighborhood of 75 in the book because some names are listed twice, but they only add a ¼” thickness, so it’s a cheap price to pay not to get sued by some ambulance-chaser. Only adds 7 cents to the cost of the book.
“Hey, look at the time. Sure flies when you’re having fun, and I like to talk and talk about my work, but I also have to interview new applicants for positions here at the university. It seems as if they’re all Obots; you know, brain-dead, and we can’t have that.
“Thanks for letting me push my books. Bye.”
“And thank you, Professor. Hey, great burger, last time. Want to meet later on, same place? My treat.
“Well, that was informative, and I hope you all enjoyed it as much as I. This is Roving saying goodnight. Goodnight.”