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by OPOVV, ©2015

Is Donald Trump just what America needs at this time?

(Aug. 10, 2015) — “Good evening, ladies and gentlemen. As you can see, we’re at the planetarium here to interview a Professor Gecko Mollison. Don’t worry, I’ll ask. This is door number 161, where we’re to meet. Oh, heard us out in the hall, did you? Good ears, or maybe you heard vibrations? Thank you, we will come in. Three waters will do, thank you.”

“Don’t bother asking: I’ll tell you. They always ask, as if asking isn’t rude, but then I’ve heard about you interviewers, although I suppose someone’s got to do it, no offense, mind you.”

“None taken.”

“It was a simple misprint, if you can believe it. My real name is Bartholomew, but they misspelled it on my Birth Certificate, but at least I have one, unlike our de facto president. And I heard your little joke about vibrations.

“It’s the insurance jokes I can’t stand. Let me tell you something: my brother-in-law sells insurance so I’ve heard them all, believe me, so no more jokes at my expense. None of this ‘Look, there’s a fly on the window! Fresh snack!’ or other such childish nonsense, either.

“You’re here to learn about the cosmos and our place — the USA — in it, so let’s get started.  But first, let me put on what I like to call my ‘Friendly Gecko’ hat. My wife made it for me as a Halloween costume 10 years ago and, for some reason, I seem to think better wearing it.”

And there, right on camera, the Professor seemed to change his appearance.  Although I’m sure it’s due to the camera angle, lighting and shadows, he seemed to turn a light hue of green and his whole head became somehow elongated, somehow Gecko-like.

“Nice hat, and I dig the affect, oops, sorry, I mean effect. Whatever. Okay, let’s hear it.”

“Cameraman, would you please focus on this table? See, this table top represents the surface of the earth. The table is 10 feet long and 3 feet wide. From that end to here is, as you can see, painted blue, which represents the oceans. We don’t live on the oceans.

“The next foot is painted dark brown, which represents the mountains. No rows of corn on Mt. Rainier. That’s 8 feet. Add a foot for sand, rocks, parched clay, swamps and ice: 9 feet.

“That leaves us humans a foot of land that’s habitable, but half of that foot is marginal land, at best. Which means that this last sliver, painted gold, is it, all the land we’ve got, and just this little rectangle here at this corner is good for growing crops: the rest is for grazing.

“The point is that land is dear. But what really makes whatever land that’s useable so dear is the availability of fresh water for irrigation and drinking, both for man and beast. You can’t irrigate with salt water nor drink it.

“Humans squander for expediency and profit. It is the wise man who puts aside for troubled times, who does without today so he has some for tomorrow. The short of it is that we hear the same old broken record year after election year: ‘Energy Independence,’ and then the cycle starts all over again.

“To start, energy conservation starts at home. We have the ability to have the best rail system in the world, but look at us. A disgrace. We have the ability to have the smartest high school graduates in the world but, again, look at us: a disgrace. We have politicians who say the same words year after year and we get the same results: the status quo; right back where we started from; in short: nothing.

“We scientists have elected me to talk to you today to say that we give our whole support to Donald Trump for president. A couple of years ago there was a candidate who preached deporting illegal immigrants. He didn’t get much airplay, but we believe that setting an example for the world to follow starts right here at home.

“Our country is a beacon for the world because we follow our laws, and to turn our backs on what is right isn’t doing anybody any good. We support deporting Muslims and marching Obama through an airport lobby just as they did to LTC Terry Lakin. It’s called Justice; it’s called payback.

“We don’t have any use for any Republican presidential candidate who badmouths Trump: it’s nothing if not counterproductive. We thought Carly Fiorina  had a shot, but to follow in the footsteps of Sarah Palin’s ‘just following orders’ by supporting John McCain because the RNC tells you to is not the way to go about changing America for the better.

“Obama has brought our country to the brink of disaster militarily, economically and morally. The RNC should’ve instructed every Republican — and American — to challenge Obama’s eligibility by demanding to see a valid legal BIRTH CERTIFICATE. The fact that the RNC didn’t, haven’t and won’t speaks volumes of what side of the Constitution they’re on.

“We support Donald Trump for president because we need somebody who isn’t a measly puppet of any anti-Constitution political party, and we believe him for wanting to save our country because we feel the same way, too.

“There, I can’t make it any more clearer than that. We also believe that all his life experiences, in all of his endeavors, has brought Trump to be our next president. It’s not coincidence that Trump is carrying the torch of reason: it’s a plain and simple need, for the age of coincidences has ended. We have looked into the dark abyss of Mordor and seen death and destruction via ignorance, stupidity and Sharia Law. We believe that more-of-the-same will be our death knell, which is yet another reason to reaffirm our place in the cosmos — which is our world: earth — via our allegiance to our home, to our country, and to our God. Thank you.”

“And thank you, Professor. Nice table. Well, we ran a bit over, but I hope you enjoyed tonight’s show. This is Roving and crew saying goodnight. Goodnight.”

“Whew! That’s a wrap. A little long-winded, wouldn’t you say? I liked his Gecko hat, though. I’ll vote for Trump; what about you guys? Let’s grab a burger. My treat.”

Semper Fi


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