“JUST FOLLOWING ORDERS”
by OPOVV, ©2015
“Good evening. Eh, I’m not quite sure how to address you; is it ‘Professor’ or is it ‘Rabbi?’”
“Good evening, Roving. It’s ‘Professor;’ ‘Rabbi’ is my first name. My parents always wanted a pious son, but it wasn’t to be me. I was in the Army for six years, which automatically disqualifies anyone from getting into the pious business. However, I do teach history, specifically the ‘History of the Holocaust,’ so when you called this afternoon to discuss this latest ridiculous poll I jumped at the chance.”
“Well, okay. Look, I got a question for you: Can you explain to me why any Jewish person would be a Democrat? I mean, even the Cubans are smart enough to be Republicans.”
“There are two answers to that question. On the one hand, Jews want to help people, or at least give the impression that they’re helping. But what’s help? You give someone money and they don’t work; that’s no help. How’s that helping? But to the person getting free stuff, they like, they think you’re helping so maybe they won’t turn on you, like so many peoples have done to us all over the place throughout history. No place is safe.
“That’s one reason. Another reason is this guilt we carry with us. Some say it’s because we killed Jesus, but that’s not true. Jesus was a messiah; even we understand that much. No, we’re guilty because of our mothers. From birth we hear stuff like, ‘You should be so lucky to be able to study and make straight ‘A’s’ and get scholarships.’ Not just one scholarship, mind you, but multiple scholarships our mothers wish for us. I got two, but my next-door neighbor, Hershel, got thirteen! That explains my time in the Army.”
“What did you do in the Army?”
“‘I was a truck driver. I drove a truck.”
“I don’t get it.”
“Elvis. Elvis, the King. Gave an interview and he was asked what he did while waiting for orders after Basic Training, and he answered, ‘I was a truck driver. I drove a truck.’ He had a sense of humor; dry, but still funny.”
“Funny. Seriously, Rabbis during the 2008 election told their congregation — is that the correct word? — to vote for Obama, and they did. Explain.”
“Well, they were wrong, I mean, Barack Hussein Obama. Why, it just screams Muslim, does it not? Sure it does. Blind, they were, that’s all. And blind in 2012, too. Blind and stupid, but they went ahead anyway, sheep being led to slaughter. Baa! Baa!
“Here’s the story. The Torah, our Holy Book, is really the original Communist Manifesto in Hebrew. No, really. We got this notion that God made everyone the same, the same level of piety, that is. It’s true.
“And then there’s F.D.R. He saved our people from the gas chambers, and since he was a Democrat, we became the same. Simple.”
“But don’t you know that the Democratic Party of today isn’t the Democratic Party of FDR’s time, or even JFK’s? It’s now the ‘National Socialist Party,’ same as the ‘National Socialist Party’ of 1930’s Germany. In other words: the NAZI Party, for gosh sakes. Can’t you people figure that out?
“And Hillary is one of them. She’s in bed with the Muslims, for money. What does she care about you and Israel? Why, her secretary (Huma Abedin) — when she was the Secretary of State — was (and maybe still is) a member of the Muslim Brotherhood, the worldwide terror organization, the same people that Obama tried to have take over Egypt a few years ago.”
“Yes, yes. It is all clear, but what can we do? If our rabbi and our mothers tell us to do, we must do. ‘Vote for Obama.‘ And then it was ‘Run, Hillary, run!’ and soon it’ll be ‘Vote for Hillary,’ too. There is no choice. We have to follow orders.”
“Even if those orders mean marching to the gas chambers? Look, I don’t want to sound rude or anything, but voting for Obama was just plain stupid. I mean, how plain can it get? And Hilary is just an extension of Obama, the anti-Israel and pro-Muslim foreign policy advocate. And you know that the State Department is still giving aid (which directly translates into money and kickbacks) to Islamic States? Still giving millions to Pakistan. And look at Libya today. Thank Hillary for that mess.”
“No! You think Jewish men have free will? Never! Sad! This I tell you: first our mothers tell us that we can only marry girl with her blessing which, sadly, will turn out just like her! We have no peace! Ever! They say vote for Obama, we vote for Obama. And they’ll say vote for Hillary, so we’ll vote for Hillary. Maybe if we suffer, and others suffer, and everyone suffers, it won’t seem so bad.”
“But why? Voting for Hillary will insure Iran gets The Bomb. And then what? Tel Aviv is rendered a glass lake? And then New York City? Washington, DC? Where will it end? Heck, Muslims are so stupid as to nuke Jerusalem as much as any other city.
“Did you know that if the American Jews didn’t vote for Obama in 2008 he very well might not’ve been elected? That you people voted for your own worst enemy, and then you did it again in 2012, and you’re going for the third-count, as in ‘One-Two-Three, You’re OUT!’ by supporting Hillary?
“Please, tell us why you choose the worst possible candidate to vote for? There’s even Jews in Israel who support Obama and like Hillary, for Pete’s sake.”
“There are many mysteries in life, but the Jewish mother is the most mysterious, I know. I have one, may she rest in peace. But she would want me to vote for Hillary so I must do what mother says.”
“What’s the point of getting upset? You people finally get a few square miles of sand and rocks and work your tails off and make Israel into a lush, green oasis only to just give up on it?”
“I’m sorry I don’t have the answer you’re looking for. You wanted common sense, but the Jewish mother knows best.”
“I give up. And even if you know that voting for Hillary means the end of Israel, and likely the end of your people, you still support the Democratic Party. Unbelievable. I thought there might’ve been some hope, but your sending us all to hell by supporting Obama and Hillary. Nice talking to you.”
“But it’s not our fault. We must be dutiful. Ve must obey! ACHTUNG!!”
“Yes, I’m afraid that’s our sentiment, too.
“Well, time’s up. Thank you for your time, Professor. I think. And thank you for watching our show tonight. This is your Roving Reporter saying goodnight.”
“That’s a take. I’m glad that’s over. Whew! Unbelievable. And you know what? I believe that the American Jew will keep on supporting Obama and contributing to the Democratic Party through a stupid sense of guilt and self-destruction. Only problem is, by supporting Hillary, they’re taking us all down with them.
“I wouldn’t have believed it if I didn’t hear it with my own two ears: ‘We must do what our mothers tell us to do.’ Why, the Professor is in his 60’s, for heaven’s sake. Let’s go grab a burger, my treat.”