A Zebra and its Stripes


by OPOVV, ©2015

(Apr. 2, 2015) — “Good evening, ladies and gentlemen, Roving Reporter here, and do we ever have a show for you. We’re broadcasting from the Welcoming Zoo located just outside of Dearborn, Michigan. This particular Welcoming Zoo welcomes Zebras from Somalia, Africa. I understand there’s a Welcoming zoo near Newark, New Jersey that welcomes animals from the Middle East.

“With us is the director of the zoo, Miss Flint. Miss Flint, what exactly do you do here at this government-run operation? Can’t Zebras just be sent to where they’re going without this stop?”

“First, let me take this opportunity in welcoming you and your viewers to our Zoo. We do many fantastic things here, but most of all we make sure that the Zebras go where they’re supposed to go. But before they leave this facility, we teach the Zebras how to ‘blend in.’ Our success rate, I might add, is very high.”

“That’s nice. But what’s this ‘blend-in’ nonsense? Oh, sorry, I don’t mean to sound rude or disbelieving. It’s just that all we hear from government employees, ever since the de facto major fraud/embarrassment (that would be Obama), take your pick, was sworn in, some say on the Quran in the White House, is one of two things: lies, or they take the 5th so they can’t lie.

“So, I guess my question is, what’s to ‘blend in?’”

“Why, their stripes, silly. You see, it’s like this: African Zebras act, how shall I say, a little out of what we would call ‘normal’ in our country.”

“Okay, but can you be a little more specific? What do you mean by ‘normal?’”

“Well, it’s a little-known fact, and I really shouldn’t be telling you this, but they are a little ‘out of kilter’ over there, so when they come here, to the Welcoming Zoo, we teach them to, what we call, ‘tone it down a notch.’ It seems to work fairly well, at least in keeping their atrocities out of the news, which is pretty easy since the White House controls the media through the FCC. Licensing and all that, you know.”

“Zebras ‘out of kilter?’ What the heck does that mean?”

“You know, their stripes. We disguise the Zebras to ‘blend in,’ to look and act like your regular moderate American horse. Why, just last year one of our Zebras, a February graduate, if I recall correctly, won a derby, or at least almost did. Not really, but that’s what we tell people. I like dog racing, myself.”

“Whoa, hold on here, you’re losing me. What do you mean by changing their stripes?  They’re Zebras, for heaven’s sake.”

“Watch your tongue, young man; they may be just Zebras to you but they have big ears with which to hear. And we don’t, as you say, ‘change their stripes.’ We disguise them so you don’t know what they do, where they are. They could be at your local convenience store, or phone center, and you wouldn’t even know it.

“Except for the female Zebras. Now those you might notice.”

“I think I get it. This facility is run by the DHS, isn’t it? And the word ‘Zebra’ is just a code name for a Muslim that we know will never change his stripes to assimilate into the American mainstream, isn’t that right?”

“These guards that I secretly summoned will escort you and your crew off this premises forthwith. It’s been a pleasure talking to you, Roving Reporter.

“And to answer your final question, I’m sure, is that, no, these people will not change their ways no matter where they live. How stupid are you? That they’ll act in exactly in the same way here as they acted wherever they came from is a given. What we do here is teach them to do their beheadings behind closed doors and to bury their wives and daughters at any number of their terrorist training camps scattered all over our country, far from prying eyes; understand?

“And why do I run this facility? A good paycheck. My GS number is the same as Lois Lerner’s. The money is just too good to pass up and if I don’t do it, someone else will. Now leave.”

“Okay. Maybe I’ll see you at the track. And, by the way, don’t you know you can’t change a Zebra’s stripes?

“Well, as you can see, we’re being thrown out the gate.

“Thanks, guys, and the same to you. Well, that about does it for this episode of ‘Roving Reporter.’ Thanks for watching and have a good evening. Goodnight.”

Semper Fi









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