Look, Ma, Dinosaurs!


by OPOVV, ©2015

Rep. Nancy Pelosi, who is currently Minority Leader in the U.S. House of Representatives, has been serving in Congress since 1987.  On March 26, she will turn 75 years old

(Jan. 17, 2015) — Ponderous footfalls echo throughout the chambers. Plod! Plod! Get back! Here comes one now! It plods on by, shaking hands often on its way to yet another vote on a bill laden with amendments so as to be unrecognizable from the day it left committee.

Welcome to Congress, where nothing is placed before the altar of public opinion until all the polls have been tabulated to see on which the politicians will land.

Pelosi and Boehner are dinosaurs whose time passed eons ago; extinct; worthless; of no account; not missed. “Who?” But look here, look down. See that slime trail? They’re still here, at least in the physical sense, because in the “here and now” sense, they’re “out to lunch” and have been for WAY TOO LONG.

We hear (endlessly, it seems) about the continued problems our government faces, about the roadblocks: term limits. Hey, look over there, it’s Roving Reporter. Let’s listen in.

“Hello. Roving Reporter here to interview a politician, any politician. It seems that we can’t talk to a junior congressperson since they haven’t finished their political correctness course yet. Of course you know that they ALL attend the same course: same building, classroom, and instructor who teaches them the ‘Fine Art of Not Answering.’

“Okay, it looks as though we have a politician to interview. Move back, people, make room. Watch the IV bottle. Nurse? How long can it talk today?”

“Today’s limit is two questions,” replies the nurse.

“Thank you. Ah, hello. Hello! HELLO! Oh, sorry. It didn’t have the ear amplifier plugged in. Can you hear me now?

“Roving Reporter, reporting live from the Halls of Power, right here in the Capitol building. With me is one of our politicians who has held his office for 30 years. Thirty years. Geez, is it any wonder we’re up the creek?

“Is that IV bottle a Vodka bottle turned upside-down? It is? And you say this is normal? You mean, they just get wheeled into the chambers, vote, and get wheeled back out? Don’t get wheeled in? Vote from their gurney? How long has this been going on, with this one, I mean? Twenty-two years? And this is one of the normal ones? One of the mentally capable ones?

“It’s moving. It’s speaking. Quiet!”

“Ask away, sonny boy.”

“We are under attack. Christians are being murdered every day. What’s the solution?”

“It’s a great day when we can welcome all who want to come to America to come to America, although there’s always a few party crashers who’ll point out that the VA hospitals will let vets die, but Muslims who come to our country get free housing, food, education and the best health care in the world. There’s always some bad apples who like nothing better to do than complain.

“Let me just add that I’ll be campaigning for my next term staring Monday, so be sure to check your mail. That’s something that I have over my opponent: I get tons of free stuff paid for by the taxpayers to help me in my reelection,” so said the politician.

“Yes, we know. All too true.

“Last question, then: don’t you people realize that you’re part of the problem, or didn’t the recent mandate mean anything at all?”

Speaker of the House John Boehner has been serving in Congress since 1991.  He is the second of 12 children.

“Look, sonny boy, if you’ve been in this business as long as I have, the first thing you realize is that John Q. Public can’t handle complicated issues and can’t think for himself.

“Take Islam. Why, anyone with an ounce of smarts know it’s no religion. It’s your run-of-the-mill political philosophy that runs roughshod over the masses so a chosen few can sit back and take it easy. That’s all it is. And all your talk about reason and common sense won’t buy you a cup of coffee, so forget it.

“People are just stupid. No backbone. Always taking the easy way out. Afraid to speak the truth. Fear of being called names, which is why none of us are ‘Birthers,’ although we all know that Obama is Constitutionally ineligible to be POTUS.  Wouldn’t change anything if we did speak out. May even cost us to be reelected, and we can’t have that: this job is too cushy and lucrative to turn your back on.  Good luck, sonny.”

“Well, there goes the politician, being wheeled away by the ‘nurse’, if you get my meaning. Roving Reporter signing off. Thanks for watching.”

Semper Fi



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