“WHEN THERE IS NO LAW”
by OPOVV, ©2014
(May 20, 2014) — ACT I
Curtain rises on a typical small town square in America as Beethoven’s “Bagatelle in A Minor” is heard. The stage backdrop is that of a brick two-story courthouse with old oak trees, and in the foreground, stage left, is a park bench with a Southern gentleman seated, dressed as Col. Sanders, who is feeding the (invisible) birds and squirrels. Music ends.
Colonel looks up from the feeding and addresses the audience as Beethoven’s “Sonata No. 8. ‘Pathetique’, Op. 13: 2nd movement” starts: “Our lives are but shadows in the light and, like shadows, we can be remembered or quickly forgotten; remembered with disdain; or remembered with fondness. We are all victims of circumstance. Some of us are born with insurmountable handicaps, as a female is born under Sharia Law, or perhaps born with some kind of handicap: paralyzed or blind. Some are born in the jungle, with no knowledge of steam engines or moon-walks. And then there are those who are born under different stars, taught how to read and write, and have access to books where the imagination knows no bounds, where the freedom of expression is understood as a basic human right and, yes, even encouraged, for are we not all children of the stars, seekers of wisdom and, above all, Truth? I see the latest court proceedings have ended and soon we’ll be joined by the ‘Back Row Boys,’ as they call themselves. I’ll say this for them: they know more about courtroom procedures than any judge who wore the robes. Here they come, join us. Listen in, you’re all welcomed.”
Enter from stage right four elderly men, dressed in 1940’s style suits with vests, threadbare but clean with razor-sharp creases, well polished wingtips, and wearing fedoras. Calls of “You fatten up them squirrels anymore and we’ll have ourselves a squirrel roast” and “How ya doin,’ Colonel?” The men sit on either side of the Colonel, take out their handkerchiefs, wipe their brows and cross their legs, in unison, as if they’re the Rockettes.
First man says: “Be a hot one, come 4:00,” followed by “Sure will be,” with one saying, “I’d say by 3:00.”
Col. says: “Well, don’t keep us all in suspense, boys, what happened in there?”
Curtain lowers as we hear the four men exclaim: “You just wouldn’t believe it,”“Darnedest thing I ever did see,” “I’d tell it but I wouldn’t believe it.” Music ends.
ACT II
“Symphony No. 2, Op.27: Adagio” by Rachmaninov starts as the curtain is raised on a showroom in a furniture store that has new (cheap) and used furniture. Out of the showroom windows we see the courthouse, backstage. Seated at a large old heavy oak table sits the actors from ACT I, with the Col. seated center. The clock on the wall reads 3:00. The men are drinking iced tea supplemented with liquid from silver flasks which each of them carries in the inside pocket of their suit coats.
Second man: “That-there thermometer on the telephone pole was reading 98 when we entered.”
First man: “Well, it seems that we’re in the right place, then.”
Third man: “It must’ve been this hot 50 years ago and we seemed to have gotten along okay without air conditioning. I never heard anyone complain about the weather back then.”
First man: “That’s because no one knew any better. No one had A/C back then; why, nobody had a television set back then.”
Third man: “The pastor had one.”
Fourth man: “You mean the Methodist pastor had one. My pastor, the Baptist one, I mean, was just as poor as us folks.” Catcalls of “Don’t you believe it” and “Does anybody have a bridge to sell this guy?”
Col.: “Now, boys, it was just as hot back then, but we lived with it and we didn’t complain because it would have been just a waste of everyone’s time. Now, you’ve all hog-pawed and beaten around the bush, so let’s cut to the chase and tell me what happened in there this morning?”
Fourth man: “Do you want the long drawn-out version or do you want it in a nutshell, no embellishments, no extras, no commentaries, bland, ‘Just the facts, ma’am’?”
Col.: “Put me on record as not thinking right, but tell it to me with the bells and whistles: the extras, if you would please.”
Second man: “I don’t know if we can, Colonel. You see, it didn’t last that long. It was short. But you know what? Nobody looked up. They all looked down, as if they were hiding from the ‘Face of God;’ at least that’s what I thought after it was all over. I mean, I felt as though I was at ‘Our Savior’s execution on the cross. Anyway, you asked and I answered.”
First man: “He’s right, you know. You could’ve heard a pin drop. People walking on their tiptoes. Subdued voices: staccato, one, two, three and you’re out, O-U-T. And then the gavel hit: BANG! And it was all over. And the part about the crucifixion? That’s true, except he forgot to mention that part of me is still in there, nailed to the cross, too. Hard to explain.”
Fourth man: “That’s how it was. Word for word.”
Col. : “But what happened?”
Third man: “The ‘End’ or, as Churchill would’ve said, ‘The beginning of the end.’ And everyone is right, about the cross, I mean. About, well, I don’t know. And he just sat there, in shock, just as much as we were. No defense. He wasn’t allowed to present a defense. Zero. None. He wasn’t allowed to defend himself against the charges brought against him by the government.”
Col. : “See you all at the game.”
The music stops as the curtain is lowered.
ACT III
Flute and Harp Concerto, K299, 2nd movement by Mozart is playing as the curtain rises on the Colonel’s study: walls adorned with shelves of books, crossed sabers and, on the stage right, an elaborate bar. The game table is center stage, Col. seated at the center.
Col. : “Welcome, gentlemen. After such a trying day we owe ourselves the relaxation of good Southern brandy, whiskey, rye or ’shine; a good game of poker accompanied with a fine cigar, and good conversation. Now, getting back to the travesty this morning, tell me, what really happened. I mean, what REALLY HAPPENED in there?”
First man : “ Pair of 7’s. Col., I just don’t know, but my gut feeling is that the government just trashed the Constitution.”
Second man : “I’m out. Right, that was my take on it. The Constitution was circumvented for purely political reasons. So I asked myself: when does politics supersede the law? The answer is when there is no law.”
Third man : “Two-pair: Jacks over 8’s. It was over with just one BANG! of the gavel. All over, and the part that was so shocking was the nonchalantness…is that a word? Never mind, it was just the cavalier attitude by the government. Here they are, overturning the United States Constitution and they act just as if they just don’t care. Like it’s no big deal. Very unsettling, to say the least.”
Fourth man: “I fold. And I’ll sit the next one out. I can’t concentrate. This is all very upsetting. Why, my dog whined when I got home, that’s why I had to bring him along. I hope you don’t’ mind?”
Col. : “Glad to have him. He play? Got any money? Why don‘t you sit the next one out and let him play?”
Fourth man: “No, I’m serious. This is big, bad news. This is the worst trial in the whole history of our government, the whole history of the country. It’s the ‘End.’ I told my wife we should start thinking about moving to her grandparents’ home in Italy.”
Col. : “Funny, I told my wife the same thing.” “Symphony No. 41, ‘Jupiter’, K551: 3rd movement” by Mozart starts.
First man : “What you got, Col.? You see all of them silver and gold commercials on TV? That’s what we’ve been doing, and we’ve got it well hidden. No safety deposit box that the government can break into. No, it’s our money and we’re keeping it. Last week we put a down-payment on an RV and we’re getting out this summer. Going up to Alaska. Yes, I know Alaska is part of the USA but it’s more like Texas without the illegal immigrants.”
Col.: “Gentlemen, a Full House: 6’s over 4’s. Yes, I agree with you all. Today Lady Liberty lost a big round, a possible knock-out punch, especially so since the military, starting with the Joint Chiefs of Staff, and all the rest of the military, remained mute. I mean, didn’t they all take the Oath to ‘defend and protect’ the Constitution? I’m sure they did, so what happened to them? Are they ALL cowards or something else? This LTC Terry Lakin was one of them!”
Choruses of “Here! Here!” with glasses raised, are heard. At this point the wives enter from stage left and join the men in toasting Old Glory, which is proudly displayed over the bar. The stage lights dim. Music fades and new music is heard: “Piano Sonata No. 14 in C Sharp Minor, Op. No. 2, 1st movement ” by Beethoven starts. The Col. stands and walks to the front of the stage.
Col. : “Ladies and Gentlemen, on the back of your playbill there is the Gettysburg Address. Please stand and recite with me and the cast as we face our flag.”
Four score and seven years ago our fathers brought forth on this continent, a new nation, conceived in liberty, and dedicated to the proposition that all men are created equal. Now we are engaged in a great civil war, testing whether that nation, or any nation so conceived and so dedicated, can long endure. We are met on a great battle-field of that war. We have come to dedicate a portion of that field, as a final resting place for those who have gave their lives that that nation might live. It is altogether fitting and proper that we should do this.
But, in a larger sense, we can not dedicate — we can not consecrate — we can not hallow — this ground. The brave men, living and dead, who struggled here, have consecrated it, far above our power to add or detract. The world will little note, nor long remember what we say here, but it can never forget what they did here. It is for us the living, rather, to be dedicated here to the unfinished work which they who fought here have thus far so nobly advanced. It is rather for us to be here dedicated to the great task remaining before us — that from these honored dead we take increased devotion to that cause for which they gave the last full measure of devotion — that we here highly resolve that these dead shall not have died in vain — that this nation, Under God, shall have a new birth of freedom — and that government of the people, by the people, for the people, shall not perish from the earth.
“The key is ‘for us to be here dedicated to the great task remaining.’ Freedom must be striven for on a daily basis, and whether you are a Democrat or Republican, or any other political party, you are all, or should be, AMERICANS FIRST by supporting the Constitution. Thank you for attending our play. Good night.”
The cast bows and the curtain is lowered. Music ends.
FINI