They Shot the Golden Goose


by OPOVV, ©2014

(Feb. 4, 2014) — Two guys are in a duck blind and a bird comes flying up. One guy says, “This one’s mine” and the other guy says, “No, stop! It’s a ‘Ticket Delivery Duck’ that’s got my ticket to get out of my lousy job. He’s delivering my diploma from the community college I’ve been going to at night for the past 12 years. With this piece of paper I’m able to apply for better, higher-paying jobs. DON’T SHOOT IT!

“Okay, okay, I heard you the first time. Hey, Duck, you got anything for me?”

“You think ducks speak English? You’d be better off trying Mexican. Just say, ‘Quack-quack’ with an accent. Pretend you’re selling insurance.”

“Well, I’ll be… Let me look at it: a real diploma in Surveying. So you don’t like stacking boxes in the warehouse? You want to got trudging up and down hills, through brambles and over Fire Ant nests in the heat, rain and snow?”

“What I want is to make my own choices. I want to be my own boss. I want to do it on my own, beholden to nobody, understand?”

“Who paid for your classes? Who paid for your books?”

“I did. I worked my way through and I’m moving to a town where they have a four-year college or university where I can continue my education; anyway, a place with a good library. No student loans for me: pay as you go.”

“Oh, excuse me, Mr. Bigshot. Collecting Welfare and Food Stamps is too good for you?”

“Look, just keep your eye out for ducks: we still have to bring something back tonight.”

“I see something up high, to the north. I can’t quite make it out. Heck, I’ll shoot at it anyway.”

Bang! Bang! A Golden Goose lands at their feet.

“I got it! I got it!”

“You darn fool, you just shot ‘The Golden Goose’! Idiot.”

“Golden, smolden. Who cares? I get Welfare, Social Security/Disability, PTSD checks, Food Stamps; what do I care? Hard work? Look, you’re the fool, busting your chops just so you can pay the taxes that pay me to go hunting, or watching television, or sleeping. ‘Golden Goose’, my eye.”

“It’s called ‘Life, Liberty, and the Pursuit of Happiness,’ in case you weren’t paying attention. Pay attention now. By voting for Obama, you shot the ‘Golden Goose’; by voting for the Cheap Suit again (in 2012), you told everyone that you wanted it dead; and by continually supporting this Administration, you’re thrusting the knife in it again and again, killing the ‘American Dream’. You sure as heck did shoot ‘The Golden Goose’. Thanks for nothing.”


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