Roving Reporter

THE TYPICAL AMERICAN?

by OPOVV, ©2013

(Apr. 15, 2013) — Today we’re going out on the sidewalks of Anyplace, USA, to interview some of our neighbors about what they think of what’s going on in our world today.

“Excuse me, Roving Reporter here, just a few quick questions for you on your way to work, do you mind?”

“No, not at all. I ’m getting sick and tired of yelling at the TV anyway; maybe this’ll be the chance for someone to hear what I think. Shoot away.”

“Fine. About this Fiscal Cliff and the Sequester:  how do you think the Republicans did?”

“I hear they came in first, even though they didn’t catch one. I hear they got a pretty good picture of one, though.”

“Whoa! Hold on there, what are you talking about?”

“This cliff is out in Sasquatch land, out in the Northwest somewhere, where they think he lives, and these Republicans went out there to hunt for him. I think they got a short film of him walking on the other side of a creek.”

“Hey, thanks for talking with us. Good luck with your life.”

“Man, can you believe that? Here comes another one. Excuse me, Roving Reporter here, do you mind a quick question?”

“Am I on TV? You’re not going to use my name, are you? I sure don’t want nobody to know I’ve been talking to anyone.”

“No, no, no. I just want to ask you about your take on Sharia Law:  what you think about it?”

“I don’t think nothin’ about it. What you talkin’ about anyway? I don’t know nothin’ ’bout nothin’. You college kids always think you’re so smart, got all the answers. Well, let me tell you somethin’, you ain’t going to keep it ‘cause it’s our turn now. What you going to do?”

“Me? I’ll go on supporting the Constitution and upholding my military Oath, that’s what.”

“You racist, is what. The Constitution is what’s holding us back, keeping us down. Heck, it was written by a bunch of slave owners anyways.”

“Okay, what about Civil Rights, what about that?”

“We going get what’s ours. We got our Man in the Oval Office and you’re just sore loser.”

“I liked JC Watts, Herman Cain and Alan Keyes, so how can you call me a racist?”

“They’s Uncle Toms, that’s what.”

“Doesn’t Obama being a Muslim concern you at all?”

“The way I see it is that the Nation of Islam is going to take over and that makes me proud.”

“So the Constitution means nothing to you?”

“Don’t mean nothing. What’s has it done for me and my family except make us slaves. Now it’s your turn.”

“Let me get this right: you’re thinking this Muslim thing is all about color? That’s it? A race war and not about the sovereignty of our country?”

“This ain’t my country, but it will be after we take over; then we’ll be the ones on top.”

“Hey, thanks for you honesty. Have a nice day.”

Well, there you have it, folks, distorted ignoramuses rubbing shoulders with each one of us every day. It makes you wonder how they even made it this far.

In closing all I’ve got to say is that our take on what we think is going on in America isn’t viewed the same by all of us.

They’re doing everything they can to divide us in as many ways possible: race war to same-sex marriage, women in combat to gays in the military, Birthers to stolen Social Security number, falsifying votes to voter intimidation, abortion to killing Christians.

OPOVV