From: Chris Cirino
Date: February 21, 2022 at 8:27:02 AM EST
To: dean.baquet@nytimes.com
Cc: agsulzberger@nytimes.com, joekahn@nytimes.com, clevy@nytimes.com, katie.kingsbury@nytimes.com, charlotte.greensit@nytimes.com, editorial@nytimes.com
Subject: Joey, Foreign Affairs Expert

Good morning Deano,

How goes it this morning Deano, old sport?  I hope today finds you, the lovely Dylan and young Ari well.  So much going on already this morning.

Joey, the Great Negotiator

Yet, there is a new scenario developing in regards to the Russia/Ukraine border standoff. After the Harris administrations numerous (erroneous) Russian invasion dates, we are going a different route.  That champion of foreign policy, and border aficionado, Ole Joey Talibiden will try to broker a deal with Vladimir Putin to keep world peace.  I don’t know about you Deano, but I feel a helluva lot better with this guy on the case.  I mean, after his masterful performance in the Afghanistan debacle, I mean withdrawal, what could go wrong?  On a side note, doesn’t the U.S. get military strategic information (invasion dates, for example) from our adversaries, you know like treasonous “General” Milley gives to China.

One thing troubles me Deano.  More and more media outlets are saying that this military build up is basically being staged by Putin, just to get what he wants.  Joey’s handlers know that, and are trying to put lipstick on a pig: by ridiculously painting this mentally addled misfit, as the broker to keep world peace, while eventually giving into Putin’s demands.  Are we really supposed to think this puppet is going to dictate terms to Putin, the right says. Conservatives don’t believe for a minute, that this former leader in the KGB is going to bow to a 5 time draft dodger (due to asthma, unless of course lifeguarding and playing sports in high school, and college).

Pulitzer Prize, Really?

Yeah right radical right, what are you going to say next, that the “Russian Collusion” (Pulitzer Prize worthy, NY Times, WAPO) travesty, was just an elaborate hoax to smear elected President Trump for nearly 4 years. By the way, Hillary’s lawyers are presently scrambling to get the Durham report throw out……..nothing to see here.  Come on man! “You know, the thing.”

Problems, What Problems?

Time will tell, if this is just another narrative being drummed up by the equally nefarious and corrupt liberal machine (media obviously included).  You know, to distract from the train wreck of the first year of the installed dementia ridden “POTUS.”  Things like, the Southern border absolute debacle, rampant inflation, violent crime exploding across this once great country, racial divide worse then ever(great unifier?), Afghanistan disaster, over $30,000,000,000,000 in national debt, etc,etc, etc.  Yep, Joey is going solve border issues half away around the world, when he can’t (won’t, by design) solve his own crisis…..ok, Deano.  They better hurry up this ruse, the SOTU address is coming up fast, 3/1.  Maybe Ole Nancy can get a postponement due to a new COVID variant.  What a sweet, sincere gal she is; right up there with Joy Behar.

It is kind of fun watching Joey play President though.  We just have to try and cut the microphone faster though, before questions start coming his way, those pesky reporters.  I think we need to get back to those favorite ice cream flavor questions again.   He even cancelled a trip to Delaware during this tense time.  That is not an easy task considering he has spent over a 1/4 of his installed time in the White House there.  Word is he had family issues to attend to.  Hopefully Hunter (famous artist), isn’t back on the pipe.  If he is though, maybe he can get a hold of one of Joey’s $30,000,000 safe drug kits…see, win, win.

I don’t know what the fuss is all about anyway.  We have Heels Up Harris over there using her persuasive ways.  She is always force to reckon with, with or without Willie Brown.  It still amazes me with all her great accomplishments: that she was only able to garner about 2% of the vote during the Democratic primaries……..truly unbelievable.  I can’t for the life of me figure out why little Joey chose her with those numbers, can you Deano?

Antisemitic Assassination Attempt by BLM

Well, that is it for now.  I’ll try and reach out to you later champ.  I’d like to discuss the attempted assassination of a Jewish mayoral candidate In Kentucky by a BLM leader, a one Quintez Brown (out on bail).  Maybe you could put that investigative reporter Kenny Vogel on the story. Or maybe get an opinion piece, by the fair and balanced opinion contributor Jamelle Bouie who seems to write about racial concerns very objectively.  Maybe you could speak with them, when you get back from your highly non-diverse enclave in Larchmont, California. President Trump is a racist!

Keep it up with the journalistic integrity your “newspaper” is known for.  Keep on “printing the news that is fit to print.”  Your investigative, unbiased reporting puts a smile on my face every morning.

Sincerely,
Chris Cirino

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