(Jan. 7, 2021) — Remarriage can be beneficial for your emotional and financial health, but your kids may be against it. Learn how to help them deal with your remarriage. New love after a separation or divorce is a refreshing and exciting experience. You finally find someone who understands and loves you better than your previous partner. After years or even just months of dating, you and your new loved one may be considering the idea of remarriage. After all, it makes sense.
Remarriage in the US
You’re both consenting adults who want to build a new future with each other. It’s also economically sound, as you’ll have someone to split the bills with. Remarriage after divorce can lower a person’s chances of falling into poverty.
Remarriage is common in the US, too. According to the United States Census’ latest data, over 13 percent of men and 14 percent of women in the country had married twice. This is especially true for older adults, as remarriage is 20 percent more common for people aged 50 to 69. You don’t have to worry about what your friends and relatives think of your remarriage.
Apart from worrying about the cost of your wedding program, you should also pay attention to your kids’ feelings about your remarriage. Your divorce lawyers may have freed you from a toxic marriage, but your children may not see it that way. As important as remarriage is to your mental and emotional health, you should also consider its effects on your kids.
Effects of Remarriage and Cohabitation on Children
Your remarriage and subsequent cohabitation with your new partner is yet another significant change in your child’s life. They just went through a major adjustment period when you had your divorce with their other parent. It’s common for them to feel confused or anxious about the situation.
A 20-year study on children of divorced parents discovered that young children, especially those under the ages of 5 to 10 are more possessive of their parents than older kids. Teens, on the other hand, don’t like their parents showing affection to other people other than their other parent. This is common for kids who were insulated from the possible fights and difficulties that their parents experienced when they were still married.
The researchers also found that kids who saw and understood the bad marriage that their parents had were more receptive to their parents seeing other people. Despite this, however, they may still have resentment towards their prospective step-parents’ authority.;
Why Your Kid May Be Skeptical of Your New Partner
The paper found that kids don’t focus on the difference between dating and marriage when it comes to their parents’ new partners. They’re more worried about their new step-parent’s reliability. Are they financially capable of raising a family? Will the new partner be a loving husband or wife to their parent? How will the step-parent treat the kids? All these questions and more are going through your kids’ heads as they try to assess your new partner.
Another cause of stress would be the changes in their environment. If they have to move to a new neighborhood or even state because of your remarriage, they may have to change schools and lose contact with their friends in their area. Not only that, but they have to adjust to a new place to live in, get used to their new school, and make new friends. These changes are without a doubt, difficult to deal with as a kid.
How to Help Your Kid Deal With Your Remarriage
With all the emotional turmoil and changes that your kid has to go through during your remarriage, you must be there to guide them through it.
Here’s what you can do to ease their worries and help them deal with your decision.
Remarriage, although possibly beneficial for you and your family in the long run, may not always be understood and accepted by your children. Confusion and anxiety about the situation are common reactions, and they need your help in dealing with how they feel. Use these suggestions to ease your kid’s worries and create a bridge that leads to understanding and acceptance of your new relationship.