“SUBJECTS THAT SHOULD BE MOOT”
by OPOVV, ©2018
(Apr. 5, 2018) — “Good evening, ladies and gentlemen, and welcome to another exciting episode of ‘The Pulse of the Nation,’ the oasis on the idiot box where your brain can take a rest from the mayhem that’s happening on the other side of your front door. Hello, I’m your friendly neighborhood Roving Reporter (RR) and I’m standing on our cold and windy rain-swept corner, bothering our neighbors who are rushing to catch the commuter train to the big city by asking them their major concerns of the day. Excuse me, Miss, Roving for ‘Pulse,’ the exciting TV show.”
“Sorry, Mr. Roving, but I’m rushing to catch my train and just don’t have the time. If you wouldn’t have bloviated so much on your intro maybe I would have the time but, because you just blabbered on and on, I don’t, at least not today. Today I’m supposed to pick up the mail from the businesses’ letterbox so I have to leave a little bit earlier than usual.
“But if I did have the time, I bet I could anticipate the ‘Question of the Day’: what’s your take on the National Guard going down to the border? I’m right, aren’t I? Well, I’ll just have to tell you by asking my own question: Why did Trump wait so long; over a year? I know you’re not supposed to answer a question with another question; it would be like raising a two-year-old: why is the sky blue? Because it’s the way light is refracted when it goes through a water molecule. Why does light go through a water molly-cue? Because and forever ‘becauses.’
“And speaking of ‘forever becauses,’ how many illegal immigrants are here? 12 million? There were that many when Trump took office and there’s that many, and more, now, aren’t there? Look, my uncle is a Vietnam Vet and he says that the illegals are treated better than our Vets and if I don’t believe him, he says, ask yourself who gets free dental: the illegal immigrants or our Vets?
“What Trump needs to do is call out the National Guard of every state and weed out the freeloaders, the lawbreakers. Let me ask you this: Trump talks about reciprocity, right? Well, then answer me this: if a United States citizen tried to get away with what these illegals are getting away with here in their country, what do you think would happen? Would they get free education, food, housing, and spending money, not to mention a license to drive drunk because ‘it’s who they are’? And if they say they’re here for some kind of political sanctuary Blah-Blah, what then?
“And if we were to murder, rape or molest any of their children, what do you think they would do to us? Do you think they would deport us? Get real, and here’s my point: they are and we’re not, and furthermore they know it and we’re just too stupid to know it. Just look at the governor of California or the mayor of Chicago and Berkeley to see how nuts it all is. And I’m late, no thanks to you.
“And I just want to say one more thing: forget these so-called anchor babies, Dreamers and DACA illegals, okay? You know what it all sounds like? It sounds like deferment excuses for the Draft, that what it sounds like. It sounds like people are trying to get away with doing something wrong and I don’t like it one bit; not at all. Matter of fact, I’m really sick of Ryan, McConnell, Pelosi, Schumer and the whole lot of the professional politicians who, by the way, are responsible for the 21 trillion dollar debt. Now I’m really late.
“By the way, how about asking people if they would want the Federal Reserve Bank audited, or is that too complicated a question? What do you take us for, anyway? You treat us like idiots.
“But then why the heck not? We elected Obama and then we compounded the sin by reelecting the de facto bum. Let’s have a look at his bank account and see where that money came from. What did the de facto president Obama and Hillary do, steal from Libya’s and Muammar Gadhafi’s secret Swiss and offshore bank accounts? Pocketed Stimulus Money? Receive any kickbacks under the table? Let’s say we audit the Clinton Foundation, okay?
“And speaking of money, what do you say we all have a look at Fort Knox; hire that clown Geraldo to open the vault only to find a note from China the reads: Ah-so: Thank You so very much, Yankee suckers!
“And, come to think of it, we’re not even a country anymore, are we? We’re just one big corporation, a business that’s crooked and corrupt as it can be; why, imagine one of your employees telling you to ‘take a hike,’ which is exactly what Lois Lerner did to the American people. Isn’t that right?
“I want our worthless pieces of green paper (that we call money) backed by something, even if it’s an ear of corn. Right now it’s fiat money, worth as much as Monopoly play money; in other words, intrinsically worthless, except — for the moment – an acknowledged worth of a trade, i.e., I’ll mow your lawn for $20. Better yet, let’s make it that I’ll mow your lawn for an ounce of silver or a pinch of gold; maybe for a couple of ears of corn. See? We’re not so stupid after all. Now I’m really, really going to be late.”
“Sorry.”
“No, you’re not.”
“Pretend sorry?”
“That I’ll believe. Goodbye.”
“Whew! And off she goes. Let’s have a commercial.”
“Beast of Burden” (3:30)
“We’re back. Maybe we’ll tone it down a notch with this elderly gentleman.”
“Who you calling elderly, sonny? Why, I can whip you with one hand tied behind my back, but not today: I think I wrenched my back when I got out of bed, or else it was stepping up onto that curb over there. You know they make curbs higher than they used to? That’s where our taxes are going: to the curb developers, and don’t tell me I’m wrong. Why, I might’ve wrenched my back trying to climb up that curb there. Start a business: rent mountain climbing gear, except change the labels to ‘Concrete Curb Climbing Gear’: make a bundle; be a millionaire in no time flat. Go on ‘Shark Tank.’ So what’s the question of the day? Name is Lewis; think Lewis and Clark.”
“Any relation?”
“Never heard of them. Question?”
“What’s going on in America these days?”
“You mean besides downhill?”
“Including downhill.”
“Including downhill means they’re still talking about amnesty, DACA, Dreamers and sanctuary cities, subjects that should be moot.”
“You mean ‘mute.’”
“What I mean is that I just demonstrated our Teachers’ Union public school failure in the cities, is what I just did. Of course I meant ‘mute.’ And another thing, how come there’s just one person – who was hired when Obama was in office – still employed by our government?”
“So you think they have some allegiance to Obama and the destruction of America by transforming everything that’s good to the trash heap?”
“You got it, mister. And another thing: this argument about the illegal immigrants doing the jobs Americans won’t is a bunch of hogwash. Who in the devil do you think built America in the first place, the Chinese? Maybe the Martians?”
“Okay; I get it. Anything else bugging you?”
“I haven’t said one word about Jeff Sessions, have you noticed? I haven’t said if I were in his shoes Lynch, Holder, Hillary, Lerner and Obama would be behind bars by now, plus a couple of hundred DOJ and FBI employees. But I’m not going to mention Grand Juries, not once, okay?”
“That’s fine. So, what about our military? You know, FDR had four sons and each one served; so what’s going on?”
“I tell you what’s going on: we need the Draft, no question about it. We’re raising a country of mama’s boys, is what, truth be told. Bunch of crybabies, afraid of guns and doing what needs doing. The Battle Cry of today’s kids is ‘I’m Going to Cry if You Don’t Leave Me Alone!’ And I’d like to go on but there’s my train to take me to the Natural History Museum to learn about the indigenous Indians of our land. Bye.”
“Okay, then, goodbye. Well, how time flies when you’re having fun and so, on behalf of the crew, I’ll be wishing you all a goodnight: Goodnight.
“Another great show. Just like Jesse Lee Peterson says, I’ll give myself another ‘A+’. By the way, you know what offends me? I’ll tell you: people who want to leave me defenseless, that’s what. Someday I might own a tank with a working 105 mm gun, and maybe even you’ll be living next door, that is, if you’re that lucky. What do you say we all grab a burger: my treat.”
“The Galway Shawl” (5:19)