“WHERE’S THE BIRTH CERTIFICATE?”
by OPOVV, ©2017
(Nov. 3, 2017) — “Good evening, ladies and gentlemen, and welcome to ‘Pulse of the Nation’ on this cool October day. You all know who I am and Roving will be back on the job next week, I believe. Today we’re starting the show with a call from our nation’s capital. Professor, are you on? How do you hear me?”
“Please call me ‘Zork.’ I hear you just fine. How you all doin’?”
“We’re all fine. So: what you got for us? I hear that you’re about to have a new book release tomorrow.”
“Yes, I am, which is why I agreed to be on your most entertaining show: to push my book. The title is ‘Trolls are for Real.’ It’s about what makes dumb people really stupid, as if they needed any help in the first place. Chapter One is ‘The History of the World,’ where I capsulize the event in an easy-to-understand format.”
“How in the heck do you do that?”
“Easy: I say, ‘The history of the world started the day the Democratic Party became the Socialist Party of the United States on November 22, 1963.”
“The day JFK died. Excuse us, please, while we break for a commercial.”
“Once Upon A Time” (2:53)
“And the Democratic Party: they were both assassinated on the same day at the exact same time.”
“But the Democratic Party is still around.”
“In name only: today they’re known as ‘DINO’s’: ‘Democrats In Name Only,’ and their logo is that of the SINCLAIR gas company’s green Brontosaurus which they stole, but they say everybody owns everything anyway since there’s no private property, not with Socialism, except what’s behind the walls of the ruling class. No more donkey.”
“Sounds like ‘RINOS’: are they related?”
“Kissing cousins. In Chapter Two I discuss why it’s important to know your enemy’s strong points as well as the weak ones. A good example is the fake Russian narrative that the Left-Wing Loonies have been touting for the last nine months. They belong to the school of thought that if you repeat a lie often enough it morphs into their truth, which is a lie that they know is a lie.”
“So a lie becomes the truth?”
“No way: a lie is always a lie no matter how’s it’s doctored. Ever hear Obama saying, ‘You can keep your doctor’? Or Elizabeth Warren talking about, well, anything? Same with Hillary: every time she opens her mouth a lie is told. The old ‘Trick or Treat’: if you listen to lies you’ll get tricked: it’s as simple as that*.
“Now here’s the point: it’s the old saying, ‘Garbage In; Garbage Out.’ If your only news is from the mainstream media it figures that you’ll be touting the mainstream media’s lies. If you listen to Bernie Sanders you’ll end up believing in a political system that’s never worked. If you listen to Hillary you’ll end up believing that amnesty, open borders and welcoming Muslims are good for America. And now, if you’ll excuse me, I’ve got to go give a speech to one of our spy organizations. In closing, I want to thank you for allowing me to hawk my new book, which will surely be another bestseller. Bye.”
“Goodbye and thanks for talking with us. Please excuse us while we break for a commercial.”
“Forever” (2:21)
“We’re back. And since it’s the weekend and a little chilly, there’s not much foot traffic here on our corner across from the railroad station, so we placed another call, this time long-distance to Madam Shylock all the way down in Florida. How you doing?”
“Just fine, thank you; finishing up the final touches on our Halloween displays. You know, we mediums have a séance to see if we can communicate with Houdini this time of year. Now, how can I help you?”
“They talk about America divided; how so?”
“It’s between the ones who have a clue and those who don’t have a snowball’s chance; it’s between the ones who have it figured out compared to those who got left behind and will never figure it out; it’s between those who believe that there’s a better future for us all to those who are satisfied with the status quo; and it’s between those who hold reverence for our Constitution and those who couldn’t care less; the people who question orders and those who take a judge’s rulings or an officer’s orders as gospel with no chance of them being wrong or the orders unlawful.
“It’s not a question of race or religion or money. It’s just a simple question of what is right and what is wrong. Let me make this as plain as day: had Hillary been elected, the United States would be over. The Black Lives Matter hoax would’ve been exposed, the SPLC likewise; but by then it wouldn’t have made a lick of difference who was exposed as being used and discarded because the ballgame would be over for us all; maybe not immediately, but bit by bit and day by day.
“It is true that Hillary may not spend a day in jail; it is true that America’s justice system is open to the highest bidder; and it may also be true that traitors may no longer be lined up against the wall and offered a last smoke and a blindfold; all of this is true whether our Attorney General, Jeff Sessions, is honest or not. The point is that had Hillary won I wouldn’t be talking about this and you wouldn’t be airing this, not unless we want to go to jail for ‘being dissatisfied’ or ‘not lovers of Socialism’; for ‘being Patriotic’ and ‘singers of the anthem.’ And now I must go. Thanks for calling. Bye.”
“Bye. Now to the mail:
Dear ‘Pulse’:
We miss the plays and dialog editorials. We especially like when the guys are on guard duty.
Your Fans
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Dear Fans:
Okay.
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Dear Roving and Crew:
I like the plays about the military. Please have more. And thank your secretary, Cheryl, for choosing such interesting songs.
Longtime Viewer
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Dear Longtime Viewer:
Okay.
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And that’s all the time we have and so, on behalf of the crew, I’ll be wishing you all a goodnight: Goodnight.
“Good show. Let’s go to a park and cook some burgers: my treat.”
[*It’s as simple as that: not necessarily so, unfortunately. This editorial was written in the 10th month of The Year of Our Lord 2017 at which time, believe it or not, there are still some Americans who believed the fake, false and forged Birth Certificate that Obama’s White House released just prior to LTC Terry Lakin being freed from the Leavenworth Federal Penitentiary. The question continues to be asked of the DINO’s: WHERE’S THE BIRTH CERTIFICATE?]
“No One” (1:54)