“THE OPENING ACT FOR AMERICA”
by OPOVV, ©2017
(Jul. 22, 2017) — “Good evening, ladies and gentlemen, and welcome back to Madam Shylock’s tent of what’s in store in the future for ‘The Pulse of the Nation.’ Hello, I’m your Roving Reporter and, as you can see, we’re back in the fortuneteller’s emporium. Since we’ve already paid, let’s jump right on in.”
“You’re supposed to read ‘Pulse: Letters to Roving.’ I got a call from your editor telling me to remind you.”
“Makes my day. Okay, a letter:
Dear Mr. Roving Reporter:
How about interviewing Muslims and illegal immigrants and DREAMers for a change?
Longtime fan of your show,
Sam
——————-
Dear Sam:
OK.
Sincerely,
RR
————————
“And now, getting back to the Muslim murdering the blonde in Minnesota, anything more you’d like to add?”
“Nothing other than it’s a classic example of political correctness running amok. How many times has someone called 9-11 and paid for making that call for help with their life? Look, it’s a no-brainer that Muslims shouldn’t even be in our country, let alone walking around in broad daylight carrying a gun. I mean, really, now, how stupid do you have to be not to have figured that one out? What’s been happening in Scotland (FGM’s) and Europe is but the opening act for America.”
“Pretty stupid. I had no idea farmers were so dumb.”
“It’s not the farmers: it’s the Twin Cities and the other nooks and crannies of the other large towns. Minnesota is like many of our states; Chicago is Democrat while the rest of Illinois is Republican; New York City is Democrat while the rest of New York State is Republican; San Francisco and Los Angeles are Democrat and the rest of California is Republican; and you can basically say that in any state that has a bait-ball of welfare recipients, the remaining population will be for less government intrusion, not more.”
“What about Russia?”
“There is no Russia, so get Russia off your one-track mind. I’d suggest to Trump to wear a tie clasp.”
“What about Robert Mueller?”
“Nothing but a low-down swamp rat. Even if he’d resign today he’ll be forever known as being yet another one of the Clintons’ errand boys. The whole FBI and the DOJ have a real serious problem with supporting Trump 110%, and it shows.”
“Does Mueller have a Vatican Slush Fund account?”
“Wouldn’t be a bit surprised.”
“What’s your take on Maxine Waters?”
“You ought to have Professor Zorkophsky put her on the couch and explain what happens to people who don’t – or can’t – accept reality. President Trump has broken no laws but Maxine Waters, for many years, has done a real and documented disservice to her constituents. But then, one could say that about any Democrat and the Republican RINOS who have supported the Teachers’ Union and the Welfare State.”
“Did you happen to catch the commissioning of the Gerald R. Ford on television?”
“I certainly did and it brought tears to my eyes: beautiful ceremony and a beautiful weapons platform. Another great speech by the president, by the way.”
“It certainly was. Anything about OJ Simpson?”
“His problem-solving technique has always been violence; I doubt if he’ll change his stripes. It behooves him – and us – if he would just go away. Your time is up.”
“Oh, yes, and thank you. It’s that time, on behalf of the crew, to wish you all a goodnight: Goodnight.
“Great show, again. Burger time: my treat.”