“FROM THE HORSE’S MOUTH”
(Jul. 9, 2017) — “So what’s the skinny*?”
“We’re going in; supposed to tie up at the pier at 0900.”
“I don’t believe it. Look, the Captain isn’t that dumb, or is he?”
“Actually, he’s not, and I got the whole story from Nichols: you know, the Chief’s cook who heard it from one of the wardroom cooks. Here’s the story: the Captain asked that new head of the deck division, that newbie, Lieutenant so-and-so, if we were ordered out to sea in a heartbeat how long it would take.”
“His name is Jones; that new 2nd Division** Department Head.”
“Okay: Jones, then. Anyway, this Lt. Jones says to the Captain that maybe we would need the assistance of one of the tugs to get us away from the pier safely and it would be at least an hour, most likely twice that, to get pulled away, being that these people have apparently no concept of the words ‘urgent’ and ‘pronto.’”
“He said that? To the Captain?”
“I swear as I’m breathing and sitting here telling you this.”
“No lie? And the Captain bought it?”
“Hook, line and sinker.”
“No way. Maybe he pretended to buy it; at least that’s my take on it. Look, I served with the Captain on his last ship, where he was the XO***, so I know what I’m talking about. He had to be looking for an excuse is how I figure it.”
“Either way he bought it.”
“So what’s it all mean?”
“It means, dummy, that we don’t tie up to no dock where we’re just sitting ducks, that’s what. Got any more info?”
“You bet. So then the Captain turns to Engineering and asks him if it would be any inconvenience if we kept up a full head of steam while sitting in the harbor for the whole week.”
“And? How about letting the other shoe drop?”
“Sure. And Engineering says – you know how he talks – he says, ‘Well, now, Captain, sir, that depends, and before you ask me what it depends on, I’ll just say it depends on if we can ‘blow the stacks****’ anytime we want, maybe coincide with prayer-time, begging your pardon, sir, with coincidences and all. And then, get this, and I swear it’s true, it’s what I was told from the horse’s mouth, as it were, he winks at the Captain!”
“No way! You made that up. You’re lying!”
“If I’m lyin’ I’m dyin’. Anyway, ’cause I know you’re going to ask, the Captain smiles and says, ‘That does it. We’ll station ourselves out in the harbor for the good of the ship.’”
“But isn’t Turkey a member of NATO?”
“Son, hear it from an old Boats*****: there are as many Navies as there are Captains. I’ve had some good Captains and I’ve had some really bad ones that I wouldn’t lift a finger to save the ship or, for that matter, myself. Once in a while you come across a Captain that makes the crew proud; serving under such a man is a privilege few sailors experience. I believe that our Captain is one of the few, a man that can think for himself and really cares for the welfare of his crew.”
“Sounds like Trump, doesn’t it? I mean, I think he wants the VA fixed once and for good, don’t you?”
“You bet. Just because we were ordered here for a, what did they say, a ‘Goodwill Visit?; Right; doesn’t mean we have to drink the Kool-aid, now does it? And while we’re here we’ll be at Condition II, one step below full Battle Stations. Sentries will be armed and have real bullets, how about that?”
“But that’s not what I read. I heard that our sentries are supposed to wear Dress Blues and not to have any ammo.”
“You heard right, but the Captain is looking out for his ship, got it?”
“I heard the Captain is a mustang; is that right?”
“That’s right, and the way I hear tell it is that, whenever he had to stand guard duty, he had a round chambered with the Safety ON.”
“No kidding?”
“Right on. So we’re going to be all right. We’re supposed to ‘take sightseeing tours’ and ‘see the sights,’ but no one is taking any liberty, at least not in this port. And as far as our ship paying any money for docking fees, the Captain says let them send the bill to the Pentagon; maybe some sorry leftover Obama-lover will pay it.”
“This for real?”
“The straight skinny.”
[*skinny: Navy slang for gossip based on subjective facts.]
[**2nd Division: Deck Division, in charge of mooring and anchoring the ship safely.]
[***XO: Ship’s Executive Officer; second in command.]
[****blow the stacks: shooting compressed air up the smoke stacks to clean out carbon deposits; similar to what a chimney sweep does.]
[*****old Boats: A boatswain mate who is knowledgeable in the operation of the Navy and of the ship.]
“I Heard it Through the Grapevine”
