by OPOVV, ©2016

(Dec. 21, 2016) — “Good evening, ladies and gentlemen, and welcome to ‘Pulse of the Nation,’ the show that lays it out for you to decide. We’re back inside the railroad station about to interview this young man.”

“Young man? Well, thank you, since I just retired.”

“And where did you retire from?”

“I worked at the Pentagon for 33 years in the ‘Department of Assessments that No One Listens To,’ otherwise known as ‘DOT.’”


“Yes, I’m ashamed to say. You see, the way it works is that the bigger the budget, the more letters you get to have in your handle. Our budget was just under $10 million, although it only cost about $200,000 to fund, I mean run, since we had only three employees and a small room; well, more like janitor’s closet for a bucket and a mop. The rest of the money we’d spend on Christmas gifts for the poor.”

“No way.”

“Yes way.

“So, tell me, what did you guys do that no one cared about?”

“I’ll give you a ‘for instance.’

“Please do.”

“We wrote a report saying that, if you remove Saddam Hussein from power, it would destabilize the whole region. They did and what ensued is exactly what we warned about.”

“Well, how would it have been done otherwise?”

“Kill his sons, for sure, but keep Saddam as a figurehead that we’d control, yes? You see, these Arabs don’t tell time the way the rest of humanity does. They carry the burden of offenses against their ancestors all the way back to when they ran around as amoebas.”

 “Amoebas? Isn’t that just a little bit too much?”

“On the contrary. The Middle East is the bull’s-eye of the cradle of Christianity and for almost 2,000 years there have been pockets of Christian villages and sections of towns and cities that have shared life with other peoples. Nowadays you’d be hard-pressed to find any Christians where you should, and the reason you don’t is that the land has been taken over by social-pathetic-serial-murders, otherwise known far and wide as ‘Muslims.’”

“But aren’t there Muslims out there that don’t go around and murder?”

“Let me put it to you this way: If a Muslim doesn’t want to destroy our way of life and want to kill us, then that person is not a Muslim. Look, I don’t want to seem rude, but here’s my train.”

“Wait! Tell us the solution to the mess.”

“Forget the usual tools of the diplomatic trade: reason; logic; payoffs; bribes; promises of kickbacks; you know, the usual. Just go in with guns blazing and do what should’ve been done 1,400 years ago. As long as the book that preaches ‘Kill Jews and Christians wherever Ye may find them’ hangs around, the world will continue to fight the Devil. Bye!”

“Thanks for talking with us. And who is next in line? Oh, hello.”

“Hello, yes?”

“Are you here on vacation?”

“Here? Vacation? Yes, yes, here on vacation.”

“You sound German.”

“Oh, mein! It is so. Good German. Achtung!”

“Good. So what about the truck killing people in Berlin?”

“You think bad truck? Maybe you right. Maybe driver too bad. Maybe, what, daemon truck, like that car, Christine.  We think you Americans are as crazy as we. We have Merkel importing Muslims and you have Obama doing the same. We never learn. Maybe we learn now, you think?”

“Don’t hold your breath.”

“’Don’t hold your breath,’ ha! That’s an Americanism, yes? Too funny for words. Achtung! Sorry, just kidding. Train here. Auf Wiedersehen.”

“Goodbye. Enjoy your stay. Be armed. And our time is up, so I want to thank you for watching and so, on behalf of the crew, I want to wish you all a goodnight: Goodnight.

“Good show. Burger time: my treat.”

“Du, Du, Liegst Mir Im Herzen”



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