Posted inEditorials

Professor Wert Scans a Left’s Brain (RR)

“NOTHING BUT EMPTY HEADS” by Professor Wert, ©2020 (Sep. 18, 2020) — “Hora din Caval” (2:25) “Good evening, ladies and gentlemen, and welcome to ‘The Pulse of the Nation,’ the place to hear it here first. Hello, I’m Professor Wert, reporting from the Transylvania Hospital, located deep in the shadow of Mt. Moldeveanu, in the Southern Carpathians, in […]

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Prof. Wert Recommends Redbud Chips (RR)

“ON THE OFFENSIVE” by OPOVV, ©2020 (Jan. 15, 2020) — “Hey, everybody, we’re down at the docks to welcome Professor Professor Wert back from another one of his expeditions, this time in the Transylvania region of Romania. Oh, okay. Good evening, ladies and gentlemen, and welcome to ‘The Pulse of the Nation,’ where if you hear it here […]

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The Wert Report (RR)

“FORGET FACTS; JUST FEEL GOOD” by OPOVV, ©2019 (Mar. 16, 2019) — “Good evening, ladies and gentlemen, and welcome to ‘The Pulse of the Nation,’ the home of the malted and our interpretation of the truth, for example: Beta* O’Rourke and How-Utterly-Stupid-Can-A-Human-Being-Be Cortez. Hello, my name is Roving, as in Roving Reporter (RR), and I’ll be […]

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Intrepid Explorer Wert Chimes In (RR)

“POLITICAL CORRECTNESS DOESN’T WORK” by OPOVV, ©2017 (Apr. 25, 2017) — “Good evening, ladies and gentlemen, and welcome to another episode of ‘Pulse of the Nation.’  As you can see, we’re back on our corner, under the awning, across from the railroad station about to waylay the next unsuspecting passerby to ask them what’s on […]

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Summons to the Docks from Prof. Wert (RR)

“EXPLICITLY INSTRUCTED” by OPOVV, ©2016 (Oct. 18, 2016) — “Good evening, ladies and gentlemen, and welcome to ‘Pulse of the Nation,’ the most-watched show in its time slot. Hello, I’m your Roving Reporter and, as you can plainly see, we’re down at the docks, having been summoned by Professor Professor Wert. No, I didn’t read my […]

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The Story of Paltriness

by Professor Wert, ©2021 (May 4, 2021) — “Witch Doctor” (2:23) “Daddy, bedtime story time, and please don’t tell one that’s so convoluted that I don’t get the point of the moral message.” “Consider it done. Once upon a time there lived an old witch who lived deep in the woods, so deep that there […]

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Admission of Guilt (RR)

by Professor Zorkophsky, ©2021 (Apr. 23, 2021) — “Good evening, ladies and gentlemen, and welcome to ‘The Pulse of the Nation,’ the place to hear it here first. Today we have a person who is certainly no stranger, the Vietnam Veteran, who has an important announcement to share with us. So, what’s up?” “Hello, Professor; thanks […]

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An Important Notice from Pulse (RR)

“A ONE-TICKET RACE” by OPOVV, ©2020 (Aug. 12, 2020) — “Good evening, ladies and gentlemen, and welcome to ‘The Pulse of the Nation,’ the place to hear it here first. We here at ‘Pulse’ just finished a conference call with all of our editors, from Professor Wert to Madam Shylock, when we came to the conclusion that commenting […]

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THIS is the BOTTOM LINE (RR)

“WE’RE ALL IN THIS TOGETHER” by OPOVV, ©2020 (Jun. 21, 2020) — “Good evening, ladies and gentlemen, and welcome to ‘The Pulse of the Nation,’ the place to hear it here first. With us today is Professor Wert, world-renowned explorer, sought-after public speaker and an author of a book. By the way, Professor, how did the […]

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I Kneel Before No Man (RR)

“THE LAST CHAPTER” by OPOVV, ©2020 (Jun. 6, 2020) — “Good evening, ladies and gentlemen, and welcome to ‘The Pulse of the Nation,’ the place to hear it here first. It’s raining cats and dogs so we’re at the bookstore, across the street from the baseball stadium, where our favorite intrepid explorer, Professor Wert, is […]