From: Chris Cirino
Date: June 7, 2022 at 1:04:10 PM EDT
Cc:firstname.lastname@example.org, email@example.com, firstname.lastname@example.org, email@example.com, firstname.lastname@example.org, email@example.com
Subject: Gun Control
Good morning Joey,
I hope today finds you well. May I say, a job well done with today’s headlines. Not a mention of the great unifier (sans Barack Hussein) Beijing Biden…..again! I think your grasp of deflection/omission is absolutely fantastic. Deano(highly moral journalist) the former Executor Editor, has trained you well. Good boy. Let’s take a look at some of the hot topics in today’s tabloid. Here is what Conservatives think of what I consider your highly moral approach to journalistic integrity. Those kill joys, using factual data. The nerve.
What’s not to Like?
The “INSURRECTION”! No not the one on November 3, 2020, the one orchestrated on 1/6/21. Is Nancy still withholding video tapes……any reason for that, especially if she is demanding justice. Care to weigh in on that one Joey Kahn? At least you don’t keep your quiet thoughts to yourself champ. You actually print that you hope this sways voters in the primaries. I don’t know Joey boy, I think people might have other things on their minds, things like:
-$5 a gallon gasoline, no matter how many times the village idiot installed in the White House calls it “Putin’s Price Hike.”
-highest inflation in over 40 years, strangling low income(protected class of Democrats, wink,wink)and the middle class. This does not apply to Chardonnay Pelosi and her husband DUI Pelosi, obviously. An 82 year old driving drunk (allegedly alone) in a Porsche…….embarrassing.
-daily shooting (massacres) by revolving door justice Progressive Democratic district attorney’s. By the way, did you hear about the recall vote on San Francisco’s DA? Isn’t that Chardonnay’s neck of the woods?
-absolute chaos at our southern border. A truly treasonous event, and hopefully those who orchestrated this are punished to the full extend of the law, eventually. This of course will depend on the voting ballot variant waiting in the wings.
-trying to blame legal gun owners for all shooting events, while conveniently failing to mention the almost daily minority on minority massacres perpetuated on each another.
– babies going hungry in the UNITED STATES OF AMERICA, while Joey Bidenflation says once again it is not his fault, he was kept out of the loop. Very Presidential indeed!
– the White House constantly having to clean up the first installed dementia patient(Susan Rice’s puppet, via Barry) gaffes. The village idiot is the laughingstock to world leaders.
On that note, did you hear the latest about Joey—that Saudi Arabia and Mexican leaders have told Talibiden to pound sand and refused to meet with him. Any mention of that in your tabloid? I couldn’t find any…..shocking!
Well, as you can see Joey Kahn, as much as you and those other credible stalwarts, like CNN, MSNBC, WAPO, even those angelic ladies on The View, beg people to tune in to this staged attempt to sway voters— I believe people are a bit busy working to put food on the table and gas in their cars. You should consider doing a article or two on rampant inflation……just a thought. Some people are calling this deflection attempt incredibly desperate……I actually find it hilarious—-such integrity. I mean come on Joey: Harvard, Columbia and this is the best you got? Deano I could understand, a college dropout, but you with your pedigree……..I expect more from you Joey boy.
Speaking of Gun Control
While gun control seems to be all the rage lately, have any of your investigative “reporters” looked into Hunter Biden’s (crack addict/famous artist) recent reveled videos? Maybe get Matty Rosenberg (just tell him , no interviews in any bars!) or Kenny Vogel of American Greed fame on the case.
It seems the houseplants son is shown walking around naked waving a gun in the company of a hooker. We don’t think the lovely lady is his brothers widow, but it cannot be confirmed. Have any of your investigative “reporters,” been on this story. Or is this not newsworthy? Hey, just pretend it is one of elected President Trump’s kids. I would venture to say, you might have a thing to say then…..right Joey boy? There is that journalistic integrity again. You could even work in that President Trump is a racist angle somewhere….see, win, win.
Hey how about the time they found Hunter’s (famous Navy hero) discarded gun……in a trash can, right by a high school. No moral outrage from your tabloid? Doesn’t a crack addict have to reveal this drug issue on the gun purchase. DOJ, CIA, FBI, seem to know nothing about it. They also said they have some beachfront property in Kansas, if your interested. Care to weigh in Joey(Biden or Kahn).
How much money (I believe it is $30,000 a month) do taxpayers spend on security to keep him off the pipe or offing his disgraced self? Again, just pretend it’s elected President Trump’s kids. You get the idea Joey.
Integrity, yep journalistic integrity just oozes from your tabloid. How does it feel to be the Captain of this ship Joey Kahn old sport? Does the end justify the means? You know, anything goes , as long as it fits the narrative. As long as you can look yourself in the mirror HONESTLY and except you are doing the righteous and honest thing……that is all that matters. Of course, you have to be honest and not lie to yourself, just to enjoy a nice title and a hefty paycheck from Slushyberger.
Lastly, are you going to have any coverage of how Beijing Biden is the proverbial lapdog of the CCP. There seems to be some rumors with him being compromised due to………..you guessed it, Hunter! I reached out to the FBI and they said , “nothing to see here, move along.” I haven’t seen anything in months regarding China in your unbiased, apolitical, ethical tabloid…….just shocking!
Remember, “printing the news that is fit to print.” Absolutely hilarious, thanks for the morning chuckles, every morning, without fail. You guys are too funny. You do know that…right?