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“A ONE-TICKET RACE”
by OPOVV, ©2020
(Aug. 12, 2020) — “Good evening, ladies and gentlemen, and welcome to ‘The Pulse of the Nation,’ the place to hear it here first. We here at ‘Pulse’ just finished a conference call with all of our editors, from Professor Wert to Madam Shylock, when we came to the conclusion that commenting on the laughable Biden-Harris duo would be tantamount to making fun of the mentally-disabled.
“We have therefore decided that the next presidential election is a ONE-TICKET RACE with Trump-Pence as the only viable candidates. It has come down to a choice between ‘AMERICA YES’ and ‘AMERICA NO’ and we choose ‘YES.’
“Whenever the subject of Biden-Harris appears on the TV we will immediately vote by changing the channel.
“We have no editorials in the future that will deal with liars, traitors, dog recipes, or the glory of National Socialism. We have researched Socialism until the cows came home and have never come up with any success story or even a snippet of a possibility where it has worked, even in a term paper.
“We are totally finished with the Biden-Harris ticket. Thank you for watching and I want to thank the crew, our contributors and, especially, our publisher, for giving me the opportunity to make this most important public service announcement. We’ve been down on our corner for the last couple of days but no one is riding the train to the big city anymore. The train depot is like a ghost town. The key to it all is to cast legal ballots for the TRUMP-PENCE ticket. At this time I’ll be wishing you all a goodnight: Goodnight.
“Good show, team. Throw your mask away and send your kids back to school. Burger time: my treat.”
“Born on the Bayou” (5:11)