Let’s Not, Like, Act Surprised (RR)

“T” FOR “TREASON”

by OPOVV, ©2017

(Oct. 26, 2017) — “Good evening, ladies and gentlemen, and welcome to the show that seems to be the subject of conversation at the water cooler the next morning: ‘Pulse of the Nation.’ Hello, I’m Roving and I’ll be your host for tonight’s show. Right now we’re under negotiations for a replacement for Yours Truly while I take a well-deserved vacation. We’re very fortunate in having knowledgeable and experienced people to choose from so we decided to leave it up to our viewers. Here’s the list:

Chief New Leaf

Turtle Who Sits on Rock in Moonlight

Madam Shylock

Talking Dog

Professor Zorkophsky

“Wait one; pardon me? Oh, it seems the professor is busy in Washington; the fortuneteller is all booked-up; Chief New Leaf is attending a Pow Wow; and Mr. Turtle has a full schedule, so that leaves the Talking Dog. So be it.

“What we do here at ‘Pulse’ is to ask our neighbors what their main concern of the day is. Excuse me, sir; care to be on ‘Pulse?'”

“Only if you promise me you won’t edit my answer.”

“You don’t even know the question.”

“Then I’ll make one up: this ‘Fake News’ just got caught; the cat’s out of the bag; the so-called pundits who kept hammering the ‘Russian Connection’ have egg on their faces; programs such as ‘Morning Joe,’ ‘The View,’ ‘Rachel Maddow’ and all the other networks have finally been exposed for pushing lies.”

“So far, so good. Pardon us, please, while we break for a commercial.”

“In The Misty Moonlight” (2:28)

“Okay, we’re back; please continue.”

“Good; then I’ll say if this investigation can get past the crooked DOJ and the FBI and go all the way to the top – meaning Hillary and Obama – I wouldn’t be a bit surprised if we hear the ‘M’ word.”

“’M’ word?”

“’Murder.’”

“Would you know more than any of us common folk about it?”

“All I know is that when I add 2+2 I get 4. And here comes my train; I wouldn’t want to be late for my job.”

“What is your job?”

“I’m a janitor at the Natural History Museum.  I also moonlight as a tour guide whenever someone calls in sick. I’m also a tutor for astronomy and applied physics, as long as it doesn’t interfere with my day job, I mean. Bye.”

“Interesting: you list ‘janitor’ first.”

“Only because it’s the most important.”

“Right on. Okay, Goodbye. We have to sell something now; excuse us, please.”

“Too Gone Too Long” (2:28)

“Now we’re back. Next to be interviewed? Are you next?”

“I believe I am. Long-time viewer; first time on.”

“Congratulations. What do you do, by the way, and what are you up to today?”

“Well, I’m a county employee who spends his days in the ‘Planning and Zoning’ office. Nights I spend at fine restaurants where I get wined and dined by developers who want farm land rezoned for multi-density dwellings.”

“Land rezoned from farm to apartments?”

“It’s where the money is.”

“I’m sure. Do you get anything other than a good meal?”

“I’m glad you asked. Besides the envelope stuffed with cash, there are other goodies available. You see, it’s like this: developers are deadly against farms and parks; they don’t like migration routes; they don’t like birds, butterflies and bees; they don’t like clean water and they don’t like any restrictions on what they can and cannot destroy while they throw up apartment complexes that remind one of rats living in a maze.

“Slab-on-grade is just one example. Homes used to have crawl spaces, remember? Less flooding, too.

“Hitler was bad news, there’s no question about it, but that doesn’t mean the ‘NAZI Party’ never had even one good idea, and the one good idea they had was to declare a moratorium on cities expanding by gobbling up farmland.”

“But you’re not making any sense: you say you take the payoffs to destroy the forest and farms and then, on the other hand, you say you take the money unfettered.”

“If I don’t do it someone else will; I mean, face it, it’s a lousy job so I look at the bribes as a ‘perk.’ And here’s my train. Oh, by the way: this ‘Uranium One’ scandal is, without a doubt, the most traitorous event in the history of our country with a capitol ‘T’ for TREASON, so let’s not act surprised when the truth finally emerges. Bye.”

“Okay, there he goes. I asked or, then again, maybe he asked. We’ve got time for one more? Okay, But first we have to sell something.”

Tom Petty, “I Won’t Back Down” Full Tribute (3:10)

“Okay; last one. Excuse me, please, Roving with ‘Pulse.’ What’s your name and what do you do?”

“Hi, Roving; name’s Doug. Well, I was a railroad engineer but I didn’t smoke that marijuana, so I got fired. No, don’t get upset; just kidding; it was a joke, okay? Retired Navy; 30 years.”

“Thirty years in the Navy. What did you do all that time?”

“I was a Mustang, meaning I went in as a Seaman and got out as a Commander. Good retirement and PX privileges. I was a nuclear weapons specialist and spent the last 20 years wearing a suit to work. Matter of fact, I rarely donned my uniform.”

“Out of curiosity, I just interviewed a person — see, across the street, near the curb?”

“We worked together. He was my boss for a few years. Smart man. We’ve been riding the train together for the last five years.”

“He was your boss? He said he worked as a janitor at a museum.”

“And he does; he says he does the calculations in his head; he says it gets way too convoluted and complicated if he writes them all down. Look, I’ve watched your show from its beginning but I must tell you that some of the people you have on are, how shall I say, strange?”

“That may very well be, but at least it’s entertaining, right? By the way, what’s your take on Hillary’s ‘Uranium One’ deal?”

“My wife has instructed me not to talk about subjects that may raise my blood pressure, and I have to say that ‘Uranium One’ tops the list. I’ve spent a lifetime working with nuclear devices, from yields to blast zones to the intricate triggering devices so, not to blow my own horn, I’m an expert at how utterly devastating a nuclear device can be. For ‘National Security’ well-founded reasons, any deal between Russia and Hillary should be IMMEDIATELY rendered null and void. And here comes, for real this time, our train. Bye.”

“And off he goes. I got to tell you that the duplicitous antics of the Obama Administration/Hillary Campaign come as no surprise. Ever since we started reporting that Obama is nothing but a ‘Cheap Suit’ and Hillary as the quintessential Socialist, our viewership has been steadily increasing.  It’s time for us to sign off and so, on behalf of the crew, I’ll be wishing you all a goodnight: Goodnight.

“Good show. Burger time: my treat.”

[*’Cheap Suit’: catch phrase for ‘WHERE’S THE BIRTH CERTIFICATE?’]

“Shout” (4:18)

OPOVV