FLOWERS AND TEDDY BEARS
by OPOVV, ©2017
(Jun. 4, 2017) — “Good evening, ladies and gentlemen, and welcome to ‘Pulse of the Nation,’ the one show that isn’t afraid to call Islam the ‘Pit of Humanity.’
Hello, I’m Mr. Roving Reporter and I’ll be your host for tonight’s episode. We’re standing in the lobby of the ‘Pathways to the Future’ building on our university’s campus, otherwise known as ‘Business Bldg. No. 1.’ Standing with me is Professor Wert who will clue us in on the opportunities affording us when terror raises its ugly head.
“Hello, Professor Wert.”
“Please, you may call me by my first name, which just happens to be ‘Professor.’ My parents yearned for a professor so they named me one, and wasn’t it a crock when I became one.”
“It seems all so very confusing, if you ask me. How about becoming a doctor, then your name would be ‘Doctor Professor Wert,’ which makes a lot more sense.”
“If you pay for my extended education, maybe. No, maybe not: if I can’t pay my own way I’m not going. You know I finally graduated from college at the ripe age of 50? That’s right, I saved my money and took a couple years off so I could go full-time, and didn’t borrow one red cent from anyone, and that includes the government. Anyway, enough about me.”
“That’s right, enough about you. So what’s this great opportunity you’re talking about?”
“You ever notice whenever there’s people murdered by terrorists, people, even complete strangers, place flowers and teddy bears at the site? So here’s the idea: rent teddy bears for commemorative purposes. Rent a three-inch teddy bear and we’ll safety-pin your name on it and then you pay by day; maybe a discount for seven days. What do you think?”
“If you had approached me with that idea before we had people actually cry because Hillary lost the election, I would’ve maybe become unglued – at least a little – but nowadays it’s just a part of the fabric of life, isn’t it?”
“Indeed it is.”
“Too bad about London.”
“That’s funny: they let them in and some of their own get murdered, and they have the audacity to look confused and bewildered; imagine that?”
“No, I can’t. They knew what they were getting into from the very beginning, just as with us. It’s not like anything new, you know. Muslims have been murdering Jews and Christians for over 1,400 years, and since I don’t know of anything that’s changed during that time, why the surprise act?”
“I don’t know. I used to be the manager of a 60-unit apartment complex and my wife was cheating on me and everyone knew but me. I was the last to figure it out, so some people are just slow on the uptake, I guess. I mean, you want to think the best of people, don’t we? And it surely is a tragedy when your dreams are shattered. But you did ask a good question. Look, Muslims and the rest of humanity are like oil and water, even to the point of telling time. Muslims don’t tell time like we do. They see no difference between our last century and their yesterday.”
“Yes, I know. I read Lawrence’s book*, too. Now, what’s the solution?”
“To what?”
“The solution to all these senseless killings.”
“And that’s the problem: Muslims don’t see the deaths as a problem; they see them as the solution.”
“’Solution’? But a solution to what?”
“Nothing. Wait, hold on, hear me out. Islam is submission, right? But submission to what? you ask. To the State, that’s what. The State controls all, from birth unto death. Deviate and they call in the Grim Reaper, but not in the middle of the night, not like Gestapo goons. No, they make it into a participatory diorama to be remembered: that day so-and-so was stoned to death or buried alive; or, get this: they become the ‘Sword of Damocles.‘ They could, of course, just commit your everyday suicide, but they’re not committing suicide, at least that’s what they believe.
“Actually, they are committing suicide, and because they’re cowards – by definition, the followers of Islam have to be cowards; they are, after all, submissive, as in the absence of free will, which is why they can’t stand our Constitution – they believe that dying in the close proximity of other humans dying at the same time they won’t feel so all alone.”
“So they’re cowards?”
“Cowards and nuts. So far out there that the only solution is to put them all on some island and let them kill each other, because that’s all they do. Look, if it wasn’t for us Americans discovering oil underneath their sand dunes they’d still be living in caves.”
“And this concludes this episode of ‘Pulse.’ I thank you all for watching and so, on behalf of the crew, I wish each and every one of you a goodnight: Goodnight.
“Hey, Professor, you mean the only solution is to isolate the Muslims from the rest of humanity?”
“That’s it, Roving, because as soon as they get their hands on a nuclear device, they’ll use it.”
“Ain’t that the truth? So there’s no hope for them? No redemption?”
“No, of course not. Never was, actually. Look, they’ll never give up saying, ‘No Jew between me and the sea.’ Never, and if you think that’s there’s a chance in Hades that there’ll be a ‘peace accord’ you’re as whacked-out as they are. Never happen; that’s just the way it is. Either you deal with the problem or it’ll bite you.”
“What do you say we grab some burgers: my treat.”