“IT’S NOT ‘MERRY’ ANYMORE”
by OPOVV, ©2016
(Dec. 25, 2016) — “Good evening, ladies and gentlemen, and welcome to ‘Pulse of the Nation,’ the TV show that lets you know what your neighbors are thinking. What we do is interview people just like you, going about their daily business. Hello, I’m your Roving Reporter and will be your host for tonight’s program. As you can see, due to inclement weather, we’re back inside the train station.
“What about this rain? I’m Roving and you’re on ‘Pulse.’ What’s on your mind these days?”
“Oh, hello. Cat and I watch your show. And what’s on my mind? I’ll tell you: I’m the representative for the ‘Abolition of Wanton Destruction,’ but we call ourselves ‘AWD,’ which has nothing to do with off-roaders. Tell the truth, we’re anti-off-roaders, but that’s not what got me out of bed this morning.”
“Okay, I’ll bite: what did get you out of bed this morning?”
“Oh, here’s my train. Look, why don’t I just give you this little pamphlet that’ll explain it all. Gotta run.”
“Okay, thanks. And lookee here: this place cleared out pretty quick. I guess we’ve time to check out what this says:
‘We are the keepers of our planet; our earth; our home; den; cage. When we pollute and burn and oil-spill we are doing ourselves irreparable harm.
Specie-wise, we attempt to ignore what we do to other living organisms, yet the repercussions, the feedback, the boomerang effect affects us directly.
We wantonly destroy habitats not necessarily because we can, but because we are acting out the last act of the play in which we find ourselves.
Let’s meet two sparrows, Mary and Ken. They were hatched just as millions before them were. They found each other, just as countless raccoons, rhinoceroses, robins and we have found one another, and decided to build a house, claim a den, make a nest, raise a family.
The tree that they chose was in a long line of evergreen trees that formed an effective visual and sound barrier, let alone a north wind break, between the Interstate and the wholesale store.
One day the manager of a nationwide wholesale store chain decided that he wanted his building seen by everyone driving on the heavily-traveled super-highway, so he had the rows of trees cut down to nothing.
He cut the trees at the worst possible time: the beginning of winter, too late for the little sparrows to build their complicated engineered marvel of a nest, let alone find the proper place in which to do so.
But sparrows live in large communities where all the relations take an active role in raising the young. Aunts and uncles and many cousins, in-laws and close friends all live in close proximity: there were thousands of sparrows who made that one row of evergreens their sparrow town.
The trees were clear-cut. The birds were without shelter. Mary and Ken died; all the birds died through exposure. And the manager of the CostCo store, next to I-40 in Nashville, TN, felt good that his concrete-block behemoth could be seen by all who went whizzing by at 70 mph.”
“And look, she wrote on the back, ‘Outlaw Strip-mining.’ Have to agree with her, don’t we? Okay, let’s see who our next victim is. Hello, Miss, got a minute before your train comes to take you away?”
“Yes, I surely do. We used to watch your show when you were on satellite but haven’t seen you in more than a year. You were real popular; what happened?”
“The truth of the matter is they wanted complete editing powers over the content, is why. By your accent, you’re from Merry Old England, what?”
“Yes, but it’s not ‘merry’ anymore. The European Union saw to that, them and the Archbishop of Canterbury and our own Prince Charles, the traitor. Really makes us commoners ticked, this I tell you. We used to admire and support our ruling class as long as they looked out for us, but they don’t anymore. All they care about is money, as if they don’t already have enough. Importing Muslims by the millions: why, there’s more Muslims in London these days than…let me put it to you this way: you don’t even know what country you’re in these days, there’s so many of them. Wish they would at least wash.”
“That bad, eh? What about that vote about leaving the European Union; doesn’t that mean anything?”
“Just about as much as it means you electing Trump and deporting your Muslims, or getting your Muslims banned from your military.”
“Well, you may be right, but we at least have to give Trump a fighting chance. I mean, he’s not even the president yet, okay?”
“Fair enough, and here’s my train. Bye.”
“Goodbye, and thank you for talking with us. Enjoy your visit. Gee whiz, I wish they’d at least wait until Trump takes office before they crucify him. Anyway, that’s all the time we have for this episode and so, on behalf of the crew, I’ll be wishing you all a goodnight: Goodnight.
“Good show. Those English people sure don’t think much of Prince Charles these days, now, do they? As long as we look at Islam as a religion the Muslims win; it’s as simple as that.
“I say I agree with those who want to make Jerusalem the capital of Israel and I also agree that we should honor Israel by placing our embassy in Jerusalem. And as far as the Palestinians go, just look at them, nothing but a disgrace to the human race. Why, they’ve been given every opportunity to make their home the best place on the planet with all the aid and money that they’ve been given over the last half-century and what do they have to show for it? Nothing but hovels in a landfill, that’s what. And rather than blame themselves for their own shortcomings, they blame everyone else: if not the Jews, then the Christians; if not the Italians, then the Americans and all the way down the line, but never themselves.
“I don’t know about you, but I’m sick of all their whining and wailing. Tired of it. Can’t talk to them; can’t reason with them; can’t point out the error of their ways, now, can you? Same old story for the past thousand-plus years: cry like babies that they have to always get the short end of the stick, and you know what? As long as they believe to ‘Kill the Jew and the Christian wherever Ye may find them’ and fly planes into buildings, they deserve everything that they get. Heck with them, and let’s throw Prince Charles in with them. Burger time, my treat.”
“What Kind of Fool Do You Think I Am”