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by OPOVV, ©2015

Commodore Matthew C. Perry became a midshipman in 1809 and fought in numerous battles in the War of 1812 and the Spanish-American War. He played a large role in developing an educational program for the U.S. Naval Academy, instructing the first gunnery class while holding command of the USS Fulton.

(Oct. 27, 2015) — “Good evening, ladies and gentlemen. As you can see, we’re here in Chinatown to meet with Commodore Sukiyaki. Let me ask you this, Commodore:  Why isn’t there any ‘Japantowns’ in any of our big cities?”

“Hello, you. No ‘Japantowns’ because of World War II, and reason to be China dwarfs Japan. Is like comparing all Arab countries with the little Israel. Name not ‘Commodore.’ First name Commodore. Honored father admire of your Commodore Perry. Name Mr. Sukiyaki. So honored to meet with you, Mr. Roving. So grateful for you to respond to request.”

“Yes, I see your point. Anyway, let me read your email to our viewers: ‘Have honorable solution to America’s problems. Mr. Sukiyaki, Chinatown.’ Okay, tell us all about it.”

“America full-up with dishonor. Look at your Hillary ‘Stand-Down Order’ and four dead in Benghazi. Look at Obama and everything. Look at your self-destructive Rules of Engagement. Look no farther than your DOJ and Lois Lerner. Disgraceful. All not honorable.

“Japan has solution: dishonorable people commit Hara-kiri. Save problems for everyone. Include Jeb Bush in love with illegal immigrants, please.

“What we do, here. Have idea. Have a handful of parents who lost their sons or daughters by illegal immigrants meet with Jeb Bush on stage. We want to hear reasons for this so-called ‘love’. We no understand. We raise money for them to meet somewhere. We raised 10 thousand dollars. We want you, Mr. Roving, to be MC.”

“Sure, we’ll be there. Sounds like a really good idea, but I doubt that Bush would even show up.  How about just sending a few of those parents to the next Bush pep-rally instead? I’ll have my people set it up; would that work?”

“How you say, ‘peachy’? Yes, that will be A-Okay. But back to Hara-kiri. If done the way it was designed, everyone in Administration, including your so-called honorable Chiefs of Staff, should do what is right and honorable. You Americans trade pieces of green paper — that you call money — for county’s honor. You sell America down the road, or is it turnpike? Drain? No matter! You people sell freedom too cheaply. You don’t deserve to win World War II!”

“Hold on, hold on to your horses, Sukiyaki. We vaporized you people because of your ‘Code-of-Conduct’ to our prisoners; it’s just that simple. Forget World War II; we’re now doing World War III: Islam against Western Civilization.”

“So sorry. I love America and am a legal citizen immigrant. See, I speak your English, thank you.”

“You’re welcomed, I’m sure. Getting back to Hara-kiri?”

“Oh, yes, forgive me so. Never been on live American television. Hi . . .”

“Stop! No ‘Hi’s’.”

“So sorry. Care for tea? Lovely sound-boom lady, care for tea?”

“Not now, and don’t bother ‘sound-boom lady’. Now, back to Hara-kiri.”

“So sorry. Your Halloween holiday is so soon. Make Muslim women dress as Muslim men and Muslim men dress as Muslim women. Please wait. Not finished. Then have Muslim women do what Muslim men do to Muslim women.”

“You mean ‘honor kill’ them?”

“Yes, right-on, G.I. That how you say?”

“That’ll do. Good idea. What you sell here in your store?”

“We have Chinese take-out and commemorative ritual Samurai Hara-kiri swords.”

“Yes, I see your point. Well, I must say your idea has plenty of merit. Indeed, the world would be a lot safer with a bunch of dishonorable people out of it, that’s for sure. But it’s been my experience that dishonorable people don’t do the right thing to start, which is why they end up with dishonor in the first place.”

“Too true, venerable and honorable Roving.”

“Let’s not get carried away here. Okay, your idea has merit, and we could sure use some good ideas. Do you do burgers? No? Well, then, thank you for sharing your thoughts with us, Mr. Sukiyaki. It was a pleasure to meet you.

“And that’s our show for today, folks: Hara-kiri for our dishonorable leaders. Works for me. This is your Roving Reporter and crew saying thank you for watching ‘The Pulse of the Nation’. Goodnight.

“Good show, guys. And thank you for the interview, Mr. Sukiyaki. We’ll be leaving now. What say we swing by and grab a burger on the way back? My treat.”

Semper Fi